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Funny quotes from Employee Performance Evaluations.

Discussion in 'Off-topic Zone' started by Wimbo, Aug 2, 2005.

  1. Wimbo

    Wimbo Active Member

    4,133 Messages
    2 Likes Received
    Remind you of anyone??



    >These are actual quotes taken from Federal Government employee performance evaluations.
    >
    >1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig."
    >
    >2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."
    >
    >3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a
    >definite won't be."
    >
    >4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
    >
    >5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."
    >
    >6 "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
    >
    >7. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
    >
    >8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
    >
    >9. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."
    >
    >10. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all
    >together."
    >
    >11. "A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
    >
    >12. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
    >
    >14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."
    >
    >15. "He's been working with glue too much.."
    >
    >16. "He would argue with a signpost."
    >
    >17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
    >
    >18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

    >`9. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other
    >one."
    >
    >20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
    >
    >21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."
    >
    >22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
    >
    >23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't
    >coming.."
    >
    >24. "He's got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it."
    >
    >25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
    >
    >26. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
    >
    >27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."
    >
    >28. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."
    >
    >29. "One neuron short of a synapse."
    >
    >30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
    >
    >31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch '60-minutes'."
    >
    >32. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead"
     
  2. Waffle

    Waffle Not Just For Breakfast Anymore

    3,379 Messages
    0 Likes Received
    I believe these quotes were taken directly from posts over in The Smack Zone. :D
     

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