Hilarious (and sad) If True

Discussion in 'Off-topic Zone' started by Hostile, Dec 19, 2004.

  1. Hostile

    Hostile The Duke

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    by Elroy Willis
    ARKANSAS CITY (EAP) -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday
    after leaping through her moving car's sunroof during an incident best
    described as a "mistaken rapture" by dozens of eye-witnesses.
    Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile-up
    resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman, who was
    apparently convinced the rapture was occurring when she saw twelve
    people floating up into the air, and then passed a man on the side of
    the road who she believed was Jesus. "She started screaming `He´s
    He's back!' and climbed out through the sunroof and jumped off the roof
    of the car," said Everet Williams, husband of 28-year-old Georgann
    Williams who was pronounced dead at the scene.
    "I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait till I stopped,"
    Williams said. She thought the rapture was happening and was convinced
    that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky," he went on to say.
    "This is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been on the force,"
    said Paul Madison, first officer on the scene Madison questioned the man
    who looked like Jesus and discovered that he was on his way to a toga
    costume party, when the tarp covering the bed of his pickup truck came
    loose and released twelve blow-up sex dolls filled with helium, which
    then floated up into the sky.
    Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who's been told by several of
    his friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms
    into the air in frustration and said "Come back," just as the Williams'
    car passed him, and Mrs. Williams was sure that it was Jesus lifting
    people up into heaven as they drove by him.
    "I think my wife loved Jesus more than she loved me," the widower
    said when asked why his wife
    would do such a thing. When asked for comments about the twelve sex
    dolls, Jenkins replied, "This is all just too weird for me. I never
    expected anything like this to happen."
  2. Midswat

    Midswat Benched

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    And that is precisely why I don't fill my sex dolls with helium . . .
  3. da_boyz_mk

    da_boyz_mk How 'Bout Dem Cowboys

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    LOL funny stuff
  4. stag hunter

    stag hunter Hater

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  5. Irving Cowboy

    Irving Cowboy The Chief

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    We should be reading about this on Snopes here pretty soon... true or not. Middie and I will probably hear about it on FM99 first thing Monday morning for Stupid News... although I don't listen to them anymore, I listen to Mancow.

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