1. Welcome to CowboysZone!  Join us!  Come on!  You know you want to!

Relationship advice

Discussion in 'Off-topic Zone' started by Tricked, May 30, 2013.

  1. ABQCOWBOY

    ABQCOWBOY Moderator Staff Member

    34,156 Messages
    1,289 Likes Received
    Best advice I can give you or anybody, don't go to a message board to get advice on relationships. The best you can hope for with that kind of method is to further piss your Wife off.

    Good luck.
  2. DFWJC

    DFWJC Well-Known Member Zone Supporter

    21,657 Messages
    1,527 Likes Received
    Just a warning.

    Those inclined to cheat tend to be the most suspicious of others cheating.
  3. VietCowboy

    VietCowboy Be Realistic. Demand the Impossible.

    2,915 Messages
    1 Likes Received
    maybe, but s/he could be controlling, or been burned by a cheater in the past, or a friend/family told him/her that his/her partner may be cheating, etc etc. There are a lot of reasons why someone would do that. You just can't just make an assumption on the behavior.
  4. a_minimalist

    a_minimalist Active Member

    4,541 Messages
    3 Likes Received
    But you can hold them accountable for their actions. Especially since they are an ADULT.
  5. WPBCowboysFan

    WPBCowboysFan Well-Known Member

    4,711 Messages
    1,150 Likes Received
    Communication requires listening also. Communication "failure" is not always because there is a LACK of communication. The failure is often the result of not being willing to listen and apply what is being communicated.
  6. WPBCowboysFan

    WPBCowboysFan Well-Known Member

    4,711 Messages
    1,150 Likes Received
    In all seriousness, she needs to get some help from a professional. You arent the answer, and nothing advised here is the answer. She needs some real help to deal with anxiety issues. Most likely she will get worse w/o some real help. The sooner she deals with it the better off all of you will be. It may take some time, and may even take some medication, but just living with it will do nothing but frustrate you both.

    Get her some help. I wish you the best in dealing with this.
  7. burmafrd

    burmafrd Well-Known Member

    40,924 Messages
    1,196 Likes Received
    Sounds to me like this relationship is going into the ol calcutta crapper no matter what.

    So what do you have to lose from drawing a line in the sand:


    FROM now ON I check your phone like you do mine. If you password protect I will do the same. I demand equal rights.


    If she refuses then what good is continuing this? Tell her its time to end it

    Staying together because of a child is about the WORST reason there is. Does no one any good in the end.
  8. PJTHEDOORS

    PJTHEDOORS Well-Known Member

    1,823 Messages
    283 Likes Received
    Tell that to the little girl crying at night.
  9. a_minimalist

    a_minimalist Active Member

    4,541 Messages
    3 Likes Received
    Ever been called wildly dramatic before?
  10. DFWJC

    DFWJC Well-Known Member Zone Supporter

    21,657 Messages
    1,527 Likes Received
    That's why I said "inclined".
    No assumptions made whatsoever about this particular case. For all we know, that controlling spouse may other reasons entirely for her actions.
    Just stating the facts.
  11. AbeBeta

    AbeBeta Well-Known Member

    24,845 Messages
    567 Likes Received
    Burm's relationship advice is awful. Tit for tat is a dumb way to have a relationship. If anything, try couples counseling. Make a real effort to improve your relationship.
  12. stasheroo

    stasheroo Well-Known Member

    17,094 Messages
    972 Likes Received
    Completely disagree.

    When you don't have equality in a relationship, you don't have a relationship.
  13. AbeBeta

    AbeBeta Well-Known Member

    24,845 Messages
    567 Likes Received
    That sounds like postpartum depression -- however, the OP should also be getting help. Treating your partner the way he did, knowing that she is having a tough time, is not a reasonable response. It is cruel and people who love each other and want to stay in a relationship do not behave that way.
  14. AbeBeta

    AbeBeta Well-Known Member

    24,845 Messages
    567 Likes Received
    Right. Husband makes rules and wife has to follow them. You really miss that equality is about how you make decisions. Both sides need a say.
  15. ABQCOWBOY

    ABQCOWBOY Moderator Staff Member

    34,156 Messages
    1,289 Likes Received
    No, sometimes Wife's make rules and Husbands have to follow them. It's not always like they show it on Lifetime.
  16. WPBCowboysFan

    WPBCowboysFan Well-Known Member

    4,711 Messages
    1,150 Likes Received
    He's frustration saturated. I would not call it cruel. A person gets to the end of the line and just trys something/anything to get the other's attention. Maybe not a great move, but hardly cruel. Its just frustration manifested.
  17. AbeBeta

    AbeBeta Well-Known Member

    24,845 Messages
    567 Likes Received
    Sure -- but in most of those sort of situations, you deal with the "is this worth fighting over" factor. Here is a clear case of conflict over a particular issue (one that likely is just a symptom of a bigger problem). Freaking discuss the problem! That is how healthy relationships work. This is his wife, not his child.
  18. AbeBeta

    AbeBeta Well-Known Member

    24,845 Messages
    567 Likes Received
    Fine. It is remarkably selfish then. She's clearly having some major issues. Responding with behaviors that will obviously make the situation worse is a clear indication that the OP is more focused on his own needs than helping his wife in this difficult period.
  19. PJTHEDOORS

    PJTHEDOORS Well-Known Member

    1,823 Messages
    283 Likes Received
    Uh...let's see. A newborn baby. Maybe having both parents isn't important in your life, but I'm guessing that kid's life it is.
  20. WPBCowboysFan

    WPBCowboysFan Well-Known Member

    4,711 Messages
    1,150 Likes Received
    While I dont disagree with you, there are still 2 people involved in this relationship. What he has been putting up with has made his situation difficult as well. It might be accurate to say he is ignorant of the seriousness of her condition and didnt help things with his frustrated attempt, but not fair to classify it as cruel, or even selfish at this point.

    The best thing he can do at this point is get her some professional help. See where it goes.

Share This Page