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Saw this on another message (music) Board...thought it was funny, not sure where they found it as they did not provide a link.
TOP 5 SMART ARSE ANSWERS FOR 2004
Smart Arse Answer #5: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the
ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a
beat....she said,"Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."
Smart Arse Answer #4: A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at
the grocery store,but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She
asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy
replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Smart Arse Answer #3: The cop got out of his car and the kid who was
stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all
day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I
could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
without a ticket.
Smart Arse Answer #2: A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A
sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the
bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are
backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of
his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,
"Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
gas."
AND NOW........FOR ................THE..........#1 SMART ARSE ANSWER OF
THE YEAR 2004........................
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now
class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I
might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or
a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses
whatsoever!"
A smart *** guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What
would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter
sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is
restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and
sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other
hand."
TOP 5 SMART ARSE ANSWERS FOR 2004
Smart Arse Answer #5: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the
ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a
beat....she said,"Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."
Smart Arse Answer #4: A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at
the grocery store,but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She
asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy
replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Smart Arse Answer #3: The cop got out of his car and the kid who was
stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all
day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I
could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
without a ticket.
Smart Arse Answer #2: A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A
sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the
bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are
backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of
his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,
"Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
gas."
AND NOW........FOR ................THE..........#1 SMART ARSE ANSWER OF
THE YEAR 2004........................
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now
class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I
might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or
a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses
whatsoever!"
A smart *** guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What
would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter
sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is
restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and
sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other
hand."
