Reverend Conehead
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I have this special place in the hutch of my computer desk where I always put my wallet. It's very handy to have that because it means I can always find it. I'm organized that way. However, Miss Amber Heard has chosen once again to mess with my life. I think she's hid cameras in my place to spy on me because she knew right where that wallet was and where to hide it where I would have trouble finding it. It ended up on the floor next to my bed, somewhere that I never would have left it. I like to lie on the bed watching TV, but I don't bring my wallet there. Heard was so slick that she put the wallet next to my bed where it would have been if I had been lazy enough to leave it in my pocket while watching TV and it had fallen out. Very slick of her to do it that way to make me think it was my own fault. But it wasn't! She snuck in and took it from my computer desk and put it there! That evil and sneaky woman! I think she's also tapped into the web cam from my TV and my PC so that she could watch me all frustrated when looking for that thing. She didn't steal any money from it, of course. She's ultra rich and doesn't need it. Her one and only goal was to get me flustered, and she succeeded.
She hates me for sticking up for Johnny Depp when she was such an obnoxious ***** to him. Well, the joke's on her because I've written to him for help. I'm sure she thought I would just call the police, but I know they're in her hip pocket. Johnny will team up with me to make her pay. He should have received the letter I fedexed to him by now and is rubbing his hands together scheming. Wish me luck. We'll think of something to get her back.
She hates me for sticking up for Johnny Depp when she was such an obnoxious ***** to him. Well, the joke's on her because I've written to him for help. I'm sure she thought I would just call the police, but I know they're in her hip pocket. Johnny will team up with me to make her pay. He should have received the letter I fedexed to him by now and is rubbing his hands together scheming. Wish me luck. We'll think of something to get her back.