Amber Heard is a rival time traveler

[Reverend Conehead]

I've finally figured out why Amber Heard has it out for me. She's a rival time traveler who has been monkeywrenching my time travel excursions. Remember when I was trying to go back in time to 1965 to make love to Catherine Deneuve but I ended up in 1965 BC? That was her work. She stole my reading glasses so that I read the gauge wrong. The Cowboys also originally won the 1981 NFC Championship and went on to beat the Bengals in the Super Bowl. But that *****, Amber Heard, is a Commie Niners fan. She went back in time and distracted Drew Pearson with her sexiness when he was trying to make his jersey super tight to his body so that it was ungrabbable. In the original game, before her interference, he scored the winning touchdown in the final seconds on a pass from Danny White. Eric Wright had tried to tackle him, but could not grab hold of his jersey. This time around, thanks to that wicked woman, Amber Heard, his jersey was just loose enough for Wright to grab and bring him down, allowing the Commies to win.

Time travel is complex and difficult to pull off, but I promise I'll make this right. That was Danny White's Super Bowl, but that evil temptress took it away from him. There was this iconic video of White pumping the Lombardi Trophy into the air and yelling, "I'm the king of the world!" It was so iconic that James Cameron was unable to use that line in a trashy way in his lame film, Titanic. Speaking of the Titanic, Heard caused that ship to sink. She was on the bow of the ship that night dressed really sexily, distracting the lookouts so that they didn't see the ice berg in time.

I think she may also have gone back in time to the Plesogoonieblubstine era and visited the Neanderthals, preventing Chief Muglub from becoming King of Bloombagoomba Island. She made herself the snotty and whiny Queen, and when things didn't go well, she time traveled out of there.

I've got some work to do cleaning up the messes made by Miss Heard. No wonder Johnny Depp couldn't stand her.

 

[DallasEast]

"There are more women in the world than simply
Amber Heard."

 

[cowboyec]

she's probably the reason we didn't draft Marino in '83.

 

[cowboyec]

it was Danny's Super Bowl.
instead of "The Catch"....it was supposed to be "Danny and The Miracle".

 

[Xelda]

I've finally figured out why Amber Heard has it out for me. She's a rival time traveler who has been monkeywrenching my time travel excursions. Remember when I was trying to go back in time to 1965 to make love to Catherine Deneuve but I ended up in 1965 BC? That was her work. She stole my reading glasses so that I read the gauge wrong. The Cowboys also originally won the 1981 NFC Championship and went on to beat the Bengals in the Super Bowl. But that *****, Amber Heard, is a Commie Niners fan. She went back in time and distracted Drew Pearson with her sexiness when he was trying to make his jersey super tight to his body so that it was ungrabbable. In the original game, before her interference, he scored the winning touchdown in the final seconds on a pass from Danny White. Eric Wright had tried to tackle him, but could not grab hold of his jersey. This time around, thanks to that wicked woman, Amber Heard, his jersey was just loose enough for Wright to grab and bring him down, allowing the Commies to win.

Time travel is complex and difficult to pull off, but I promise I'll make this right. That was Danny White's Super Bowl, but that evil temptress took it away from him. There was this iconic video of White pumping the Lombardi Trophy into the air and yelling, "I'm the king of the world!" It was so iconic that James Cameron was unable to use that line in a trashy way in his lame film, Titanic. Speaking of the Titanic, Heard caused that ship to sink. She was on the bow of the ship that night dressed really sexily, distracting the lookouts so that they didn't see the ice berg in time.

I think she may also have gone back in time to the Plesogoonieblubstine era and visited the Neanderthals, preventing Chief Muglub from becoming King of Bloombagoomba Island. She made herself the snotty and whiny Queen, and when things didn't go well, she time traveled out of there.

I've got some work to do cleaning up the messes made by Miss Heard. No wonder Johnny Depp couldn't stand her.

What a beyoch!

 

[nobody]

I'm sensing some underlying sexual tension there. I think you asked her out and she said no.

 

[Reverend Conehead]

she's probably the reason we didn't draft Marino in '83.

You could be right. I'll investigate.

 

[Reverend Conehead]

I'm sensing some underlying sexual tension there. I think you asked her out and she said no.

LOL. I've never met her, but asking her out would be a major Hail Mary. I don't like my chances. LOL.

 

[Creeper]

I would really like to say something here but I suspect whichever direction I go I will get in trouble with someone. btw, in all your time travels did you ever tell your younger you to put every penny you have into Apple stock?

 

[Runwildboys]

I would really like to say something here but I suspect whichever direction I go I will get in trouble with someone. btw, in all your time travels did you ever tell your younger you to put every penny you have into Apple stock?

He did, but he thought he said Birkenstocks.

 

[Reverend Conehead]

I would really like to say something here but I suspect whichever direction I go I will get in trouble with someone. btw, in all your time travels did you ever tell your younger you to put every penny you have into Apple stock?

I've never gone back in time to my lifetime. There's a theory that if you meet yourself back in time, it will cause the entire universe to explode with ten times the energy that happened in the Big Bang, so I don't want to chance it.

 

[cowboyec]

dollars to doughnuts she went back the day before the ice bowl and turned off the heating coils and then turned on the sprinklers.
if she didnt then the packers grounds crew did.

 

[Reverend Conehead]

dollars to doughnuts she went back the day before the ice bowl and turned off the heating coils and then turned on the sprinklers.
if she didnt then the packers grounds crew did.

She seduced the Packers' ground crew to get them to do that.

 

[cowboyec]

She seduced the Packers' ground crew to get them to do that.

i knew it.
probably flashed ole'jerry kramer and thats why he jumped early.

 

[cowboyec]

my question...or questions....how does she fit into the ufo crash at roswell....and what connection is there to apollo 13???

 

[DallasEast]

I've never gone back in time to my lifetime. There's a theory that if you meet yourself back in time, it will cause the entire universe to explode with ten times the energy that happened in the Big Bang, so I don't want to chance it.

~James Earl Jones's narrator voice~

"And from the Void sprang Thought. Thought wondered 'Who am I?' And Thought said, 'I shall named myself Amber Heard'.

And it was good.

Good must be balanced. Thus Amber Heard created Hell. Then Thought proclaimed, 'Hell must be managed'. And Amber Heard created Johnny Depp and cast him down into The Pit.

And it was good. I mean. It was evil.

Satan, a.k.a. Johnny Depp, protested and asked 'Why have you done this to me?' Amber Heard replied 'When I left you, I was but the learner. Now I am the master.'

Not the end.



THIS is CNN."

 

[Oz-of-Cowboy-Country]

I've got some work to do cleaning up the messes made by Miss Heard. No wonder Johnny Depp couldn't stand her.

Are you one of Johnny Depp's, we don't know each other, cousins? Like he doesn't know you exist, but you love him anyway, type deals? Just asking ause you keep Amber Heard ears burning.