Amber Heard stole my 747 engine

[Reverend Conehead]

Many of you guys know that I have a time machine that I built out of old 737 engines and parts from an old version of the Six Flags Missile Chasers ride.

I've recently drawn up blueprints for a new time machine. This one I'm building out of used 747 engines and their El Sombrero ride. I was busy at work on it in my basement and was making great progress, but I've hit a setback. Amber Heard broke in and stole one of my 747 engines! That *****! She's always meddling in my life. She just can't stand to see a Johnny Depp fan succeed. If you guys could keep an eye out for her and the stolen engine, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.

 

[Oz-of-Cowboy-Country]

Amber Heard is your Thanos. So just go back in time like WarMachine said and kill baby Amber. Problem solved!

 

[Reverend Conehead]

Amber Heard is your Thanos. So just go back in time like WarMachine said and kill baby Amber. Problem solved!

I don't harm children. That's a line I won't cross. Plus, I think she's somehow created a machine that detects my time travel. She always thwarts my most important missions. I've tried numerous times to go back and fix the 1981 NFC Championship. If you didn't know, we originally won that thing and went on to beat the Bengals in the Super Bowl. But Amber is a trash 9er fan. She went back in time and changed it. Every time I try to go back and fix it how it was, she stops me.

 

[csirl]

I don't harm children. That's a line I won't cross. Plus, I think she's somehow created a machine that detects my time travel. She always thwarts my most important missions. I've tried numerous times to go back and fix the 1981 NFC Championship. If you didn't know, we originally won that thing and went on to beat the Bengals in the Super Bowl. But Amber is a trash 9er fan. She went back in time and changed it. Every time I try to go back and fix it how it was, she stops me.

You need to turn Depp and Montana into drinking buddies - and we might win some of their 80s SBs.