Reverend Conehead
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If you read my other thread about the ancient people, the Moolap Oongunboomgun, you know that they were a complex race of humans who lived during the same period as the Neanderthals. Although the Neanderthals are extinct, some humans possess some Neanderthal DNA. There are some advantages of having this, for example, the Neanderthals evolved a superior ability to process vitamin D from sunlight. So today's humans who are lucky enough to have some Neanderthal DNA have superior ability to get this vitamin D.
If you read my previous post, they had a very different reproductive system where the females only had 9 minute pregnancies at the conclusion of which the baby would go THUP! popping out of her and flying through the air, and the male would have to catch it. This meant that the Moolap OGBG males had to develop superior catching skills for their very survival. A Moolap OGBG birth could send a baby flying through the air up to 50 yards. It would have no chance to survive if its daddy weren't sure handed. Those guys caught EVERYTHING!
So you can see what a huge advantage it would be if all Dallas Cowboys receivers had Moolap OGBG DNA! Unfortunately, modern humans don't have any, but I've taken care of that. I've obtained some M-OGBG DNA from my archaeological dig, and have fused it into a harmless virus. So all you have to do to rewrite someone's DNA is to expose them to this virus. The virus then goes in and injects it into all of the person's cells, replicating itself over and over, rewriting their DNA, adding the M-OGBG pass catching skills. Then suddenly the Cowboys' wide receiver team will be the greatest in history! Thanks to my genetically engineered virus, our passing game will be unstoppable!
I just need to somehow get a meeting with Coach McCarthy. All he would have to do is slip my potion into his wide receivers' drinks. He could call a special wide receivers' party and do it. Now I know it's a tall order to convince a football coach to infect his players with a virus. It sounds sinister when you put it that way, but rest assured I know what I'm doing. I think I can go back in time and record some video of M-OGBG men in the act. That will convince him. I'll be like, "Coach McCarthy, look how great those apemen catch flying babies!" and that will convince him. That video tape will be what convinces him I'm not crazy.
Thanks to my ingenuity, we're on our way to the best receiving core in football! Now that I think about it, maybe we should give my genetic potion to our defensive backs as well. So now I turn to my fellow Cowboy fan brethren for advice. Anything you know about how to get a meeting with McCarthy and convince him would be appreciated. You will be shocked to learn that not everyone I meet immediately recognizes my genius. Some people even treat me like I'm nuts. Appalling, I know, but, anyway, I need to make sure I'm able to convince McCarthy of my plan, so whatever way you can help is appreciated. Thanks.
If you read my previous post, they had a very different reproductive system where the females only had 9 minute pregnancies at the conclusion of which the baby would go THUP! popping out of her and flying through the air, and the male would have to catch it. This meant that the Moolap OGBG males had to develop superior catching skills for their very survival. A Moolap OGBG birth could send a baby flying through the air up to 50 yards. It would have no chance to survive if its daddy weren't sure handed. Those guys caught EVERYTHING!
So you can see what a huge advantage it would be if all Dallas Cowboys receivers had Moolap OGBG DNA! Unfortunately, modern humans don't have any, but I've taken care of that. I've obtained some M-OGBG DNA from my archaeological dig, and have fused it into a harmless virus. So all you have to do to rewrite someone's DNA is to expose them to this virus. The virus then goes in and injects it into all of the person's cells, replicating itself over and over, rewriting their DNA, adding the M-OGBG pass catching skills. Then suddenly the Cowboys' wide receiver team will be the greatest in history! Thanks to my genetically engineered virus, our passing game will be unstoppable!
I just need to somehow get a meeting with Coach McCarthy. All he would have to do is slip my potion into his wide receivers' drinks. He could call a special wide receivers' party and do it. Now I know it's a tall order to convince a football coach to infect his players with a virus. It sounds sinister when you put it that way, but rest assured I know what I'm doing. I think I can go back in time and record some video of M-OGBG men in the act. That will convince him. I'll be like, "Coach McCarthy, look how great those apemen catch flying babies!" and that will convince him. That video tape will be what convinces him I'm not crazy.
Thanks to my ingenuity, we're on our way to the best receiving core in football! Now that I think about it, maybe we should give my genetic potion to our defensive backs as well. So now I turn to my fellow Cowboy fan brethren for advice. Anything you know about how to get a meeting with McCarthy and convince him would be appreciated. You will be shocked to learn that not everyone I meet immediately recognizes my genius. Some people even treat me like I'm nuts. Appalling, I know, but, anyway, I need to make sure I'm able to convince McCarthy of my plan, so whatever way you can help is appreciated. Thanks.
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