Reverend Conehead
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I've figured this stuff out and have to warn you guys against artificially made fireplace logs. Stick to the real McCoy, especially if you want to have a baby. When you and the Missus make out passionately, it sends telepathic signals to the stork community, and then they know you two want a baby. So you make out some more with her, and explore additional fun stuff, and that telepathically gives a stork the green light to bring you baby from the baby factory. So the stork is on its way to your house with your new baby, but if you're burning an artificial log in your fireplace, the particles from that smoke offend the stork, and it drops the baby before it gets to your house. One time your neighbor got your baby, and that's why that family has a child that resembles you instead of its father.
If you live in an area where you can chop your own fireplace wood, it's best to do so. The second choice would be to buy a bunch of real wood, and not that fake stuff. I remember I saw one time a stork circling a house with a baby, all frustrated because of smell fake log smoke. It eventually dropped the baby into a fire engine that was racing by. I don't know what the fire department ended up doing with the baby, but I don't think it was good. Probably ended up in foster care.
Of course, not everyone wants a baby, but pretty much everyone enjoys making out. Yes, that's real fun. There are lots of movies I've put on, but have no idea what happened in any of them because we were too busy making out. We were lucky that no telepathic signal got out to the storks, but please don't rely on luck. If you get some aluminum foil and make a hat and gloves out of it, that blocks the make-out signal that transmits to the storks. I know it doesn't sound like a turn on to be making out while wearing aluminum foil hats and gloves, but you'll get used to it. My girl and I have developed a fetish for it where she talks a bunch and then I tell her to shut up and then shove aluminum foil in her mouth. I tell you, that was a passionate experience.
I'm posting this because not everyone knows this stuff. Some people can't get a baby because of stupid fake logs, and others don't know how to avoid an unwanted baby by strategically using aluminum foil.
I also know that some people here are hunters, which is fine, but please don't shoot any storks! We rely on them for our baby deliveries. You could be out in the wilderness having a great hunting trip and then you shoot a stork and a baby falls out of the sky and into your arms. You can end up with an unwanted surprise baby if you're not careful enough on your hunting trip. I'm originally a surprise baby that was dropped by a stork that got shot. My dad didn't even know. My mom told him about how that happened to her on a hunting trip when my dad asked her why I don't resemble him.
So, anyway, I hope this info helps.
If you live in an area where you can chop your own fireplace wood, it's best to do so. The second choice would be to buy a bunch of real wood, and not that fake stuff. I remember I saw one time a stork circling a house with a baby, all frustrated because of smell fake log smoke. It eventually dropped the baby into a fire engine that was racing by. I don't know what the fire department ended up doing with the baby, but I don't think it was good. Probably ended up in foster care.
Of course, not everyone wants a baby, but pretty much everyone enjoys making out. Yes, that's real fun. There are lots of movies I've put on, but have no idea what happened in any of them because we were too busy making out. We were lucky that no telepathic signal got out to the storks, but please don't rely on luck. If you get some aluminum foil and make a hat and gloves out of it, that blocks the make-out signal that transmits to the storks. I know it doesn't sound like a turn on to be making out while wearing aluminum foil hats and gloves, but you'll get used to it. My girl and I have developed a fetish for it where she talks a bunch and then I tell her to shut up and then shove aluminum foil in her mouth. I tell you, that was a passionate experience.
I'm posting this because not everyone knows this stuff. Some people can't get a baby because of stupid fake logs, and others don't know how to avoid an unwanted baby by strategically using aluminum foil.
I also know that some people here are hunters, which is fine, but please don't shoot any storks! We rely on them for our baby deliveries. You could be out in the wilderness having a great hunting trip and then you shoot a stork and a baby falls out of the sky and into your arms. You can end up with an unwanted surprise baby if you're not careful enough on your hunting trip. I'm originally a surprise baby that was dropped by a stork that got shot. My dad didn't even know. My mom told him about how that happened to her on a hunting trip when my dad asked her why I don't resemble him.
So, anyway, I hope this info helps.
