Zekeats
theranchsucks
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So I just recently purchased the team and away we go........
FIrst things first, I need a new stud HC to replace the one that was just here so Im gonna hire a young stud college HC. Might take a little time to develop but we are now in a rebuilding mode.
After 3 tuff years the winning starts to happen with tons of success we have now have won back to back championships starring a great HC who has made all the right moves and pulled all the right strings. He is everything one could wish for and we are now at the pinnacle of our sport ready to go for something that has never been achieved before, 3 in a row.
unfortunately shortly after the win I got drunk like I have so many times before, see it’s not easy being rich, but this time I was an angry drunk and started to **** talk the best move I ever made to my organization.
Oh well, without any thinking or hesitation once I sobered up I moved onto another coach one who would let me walk all over him cause that’s what rich people are used to. I know that no matter who coaches this team we could win because we are so stacked with talent, and we did so 2 years later but shortly after it would all start to unfold with bad drafts and poor decisions but don’t tell anyone, it’s not like I missed out on a Derrick Brooks who fell right into my lap or anything. You see my first HC would wheel and deal and so could I!
So after a couple really bad seasons with some really good players still in their prime it was time for a change and I hired another 2 terrible HC to finish off the careers of so many greats that came with my first hire.
So onto my biggest and greatest business plan I wanted a new stadium(wink, wink), but being irrelevant for so many years after enjoying the glory holes of the past I needed to make a big splash and semi caved into giving just a little bit of the my duties to allow us to win and amazingly win we did with almost no talent the new/old HC who was a great one got us back into the playoffs. Shortly after this success and building us back up he wanted to leave coaching again though, really wanted me to right a bigger check but I already had my deal locked into a new stadium and wanted to regain full control again so I let him walk.
So now with a brand new stadium on the way and having full control again I thought it would be great to mold a HC of choice but knew he wouldn’t be ready (see I am smart) so I hired a former HC who I knew would help prep him for our future. Eventually after a couple semi successful years the coach I was grooming was finally ready because I said so and away we went.
Now we had some limited success with a “few” hiccups that cost us games but whatever, somehow I deflected any wrong doing or scrutiny by the media. See I’m a pretty slick man. Oh around this time I thought it be a good idea to get my kids all involved and lined up in the business so they could take over for me at some point. No, they don’t have any experience in what they are about to do but neither did I (chuckles).
So we continued with losing a lot with a little success for about a decade but while dragging out the same excuses the fans and media started turning on us and we had to make a change so I had to get rid of my long term plan of a coach.
Now I was kinda forced to hire a real HC again but boy did I fool them. I hired a HC who won a championship in my own back yard one who had arguably the greatest qb in the league for more than a decade. He might not be the best hire by as long as it buys me some more time till I figure it out we’ll be good.
Now he couldn’t really get us anywhere either, a little success but in his final year we just crumbled, who would’ve seen that happening. Oh I forgot to mention that this HC was supposed to be an offensive guru but I thought it would be better if we just kept our young up and coming OC. No biggie, see throughout all this I still made a killing in $$$$$$$$$$$$$$.
We’ll now here we are some almost 30 years later since the ********** days. It’s ok though see I built the most valuable franchise ever off of the years of that first HC and OUR success and I’ve managed to keep the masses (simple minded ones, the 80%) believing our problems are from coaching and players. See I am and always was a business man first.
Now I’m hearing a little more pressure coming my way and my families way. See this years been a tough year for me with a little media scrutiny and some skeletons falling out of my closet like a offspring showing up after 30 years but it happens to the best of us and there’s nothing that can’t be swept under the rug when you have what I have.
So now I’m gonna let you in on the future a little. See there’s a HC available, another semi big name who actually used to coach here so I’m gonna make it happen when the time comes. See I actually like him, he likes me or at least I think he does. He’s gonna want more control than I like and that won’t happen but I’ll still get him here with a big pay check. See I have to do this thing once every 10-12 season where I hire a real big name HC to deflect the pressure off of me. It’s worked for about 30 years now because so many are clueless to it. I’m actually shocked how easy it is! Oh well it’s been fun.
Oh, one last thing, one of my favorite lines came from the man who was a big help in me getting my new stadium and tons, TONS, of wealth. I kinda feel bad cause I actually got caught drunk, yes drunk again( I told you I have a problem) running my mouth about him, but anyway back to the quote. He once told the media that one of his former players does a really good job of sucking you guys in. Then he told them the greatest line ever. He said and I quote, “consider you guys sucked!” Lol, see ya’ll next year.
FIrst things first, I need a new stud HC to replace the one that was just here so Im gonna hire a young stud college HC. Might take a little time to develop but we are now in a rebuilding mode.
After 3 tuff years the winning starts to happen with tons of success we have now have won back to back championships starring a great HC who has made all the right moves and pulled all the right strings. He is everything one could wish for and we are now at the pinnacle of our sport ready to go for something that has never been achieved before, 3 in a row.
unfortunately shortly after the win I got drunk like I have so many times before, see it’s not easy being rich, but this time I was an angry drunk and started to **** talk the best move I ever made to my organization.
Oh well, without any thinking or hesitation once I sobered up I moved onto another coach one who would let me walk all over him cause that’s what rich people are used to. I know that no matter who coaches this team we could win because we are so stacked with talent, and we did so 2 years later but shortly after it would all start to unfold with bad drafts and poor decisions but don’t tell anyone, it’s not like I missed out on a Derrick Brooks who fell right into my lap or anything. You see my first HC would wheel and deal and so could I!
So after a couple really bad seasons with some really good players still in their prime it was time for a change and I hired another 2 terrible HC to finish off the careers of so many greats that came with my first hire.
So onto my biggest and greatest business plan I wanted a new stadium(wink, wink), but being irrelevant for so many years after enjoying the glory holes of the past I needed to make a big splash and semi caved into giving just a little bit of the my duties to allow us to win and amazingly win we did with almost no talent the new/old HC who was a great one got us back into the playoffs. Shortly after this success and building us back up he wanted to leave coaching again though, really wanted me to right a bigger check but I already had my deal locked into a new stadium and wanted to regain full control again so I let him walk.
So now with a brand new stadium on the way and having full control again I thought it would be great to mold a HC of choice but knew he wouldn’t be ready (see I am smart) so I hired a former HC who I knew would help prep him for our future. Eventually after a couple semi successful years the coach I was grooming was finally ready because I said so and away we went.
Now we had some limited success with a “few” hiccups that cost us games but whatever, somehow I deflected any wrong doing or scrutiny by the media. See I’m a pretty slick man. Oh around this time I thought it be a good idea to get my kids all involved and lined up in the business so they could take over for me at some point. No, they don’t have any experience in what they are about to do but neither did I (chuckles).
So we continued with losing a lot with a little success for about a decade but while dragging out the same excuses the fans and media started turning on us and we had to make a change so I had to get rid of my long term plan of a coach.
Now I was kinda forced to hire a real HC again but boy did I fool them. I hired a HC who won a championship in my own back yard one who had arguably the greatest qb in the league for more than a decade. He might not be the best hire by as long as it buys me some more time till I figure it out we’ll be good.
Now he couldn’t really get us anywhere either, a little success but in his final year we just crumbled, who would’ve seen that happening. Oh I forgot to mention that this HC was supposed to be an offensive guru but I thought it would be better if we just kept our young up and coming OC. No biggie, see throughout all this I still made a killing in $$$$$$$$$$$$$$.
We’ll now here we are some almost 30 years later since the ********** days. It’s ok though see I built the most valuable franchise ever off of the years of that first HC and OUR success and I’ve managed to keep the masses (simple minded ones, the 80%) believing our problems are from coaching and players. See I am and always was a business man first.
Now I’m hearing a little more pressure coming my way and my families way. See this years been a tough year for me with a little media scrutiny and some skeletons falling out of my closet like a offspring showing up after 30 years but it happens to the best of us and there’s nothing that can’t be swept under the rug when you have what I have.
So now I’m gonna let you in on the future a little. See there’s a HC available, another semi big name who actually used to coach here so I’m gonna make it happen when the time comes. See I actually like him, he likes me or at least I think he does. He’s gonna want more control than I like and that won’t happen but I’ll still get him here with a big pay check. See I have to do this thing once every 10-12 season where I hire a real big name HC to deflect the pressure off of me. It’s worked for about 30 years now because so many are clueless to it. I’m actually shocked how easy it is! Oh well it’s been fun.
Oh, one last thing, one of my favorite lines came from the man who was a big help in me getting my new stadium and tons, TONS, of wealth. I kinda feel bad cause I actually got caught drunk, yes drunk again( I told you I have a problem) running my mouth about him, but anyway back to the quote. He once told the media that one of his former players does a really good job of sucking you guys in. Then he told them the greatest line ever. He said and I quote, “consider you guys sucked!” Lol, see ya’ll next year.
