My older son was 35 when his first was born and 43 when his 3rd child was born. He didn't even meet the love of his life until he was 32 and was getting discouraged just as you are and part of that is you are not over the breakup with your girlfriend and should take inventory of your feelings.
The holidays can be rough, especially on people already feeling down but there is a trap in that, the victim trap. I lost the love of my life after 42 years and we were Christmas crazy. I have a storage room, 10x20, in Dallas that is nothing but decorations and in the first two Christmases I didn't even acknowledge it's existence and hated everything about it and thought I was getting the best of it by avoiding it. I was happy to play the victim.
Then I discovered something very valuable, joy was not coming to me, I had to find it. This will be my 10th Christmas without her and I do get melancholy and a little self absorbed with my pity party of one but I don't take that on the chin like I used to do. I fight back, Damnit, I am going to find joy. So, I take every chance I can to find that joy, as well as it might hide or as short lived as it might be. And even when I can't find it or keep it, I am no longer the victim because I refuse to accept that.
jw, tough time of year and these are the most trying circumstances in my life time and for the first time in my life, I will be completely alone for Christmas. And you know what, I am going to do whatever the hell I want and plan on setting a new benchmark for all of the bad things for me, food, drink, cigars aplenty and not doing a damn thing I don't want to do. Treat yourself, spoil yourself, indulge yourself, be selfish and you might just enjoy yourself and get through this.
My motto: Others may care for and love you but they'll never treat you as good as you will. And tis the season for doing just that.
