Nation Mourns For NFL Player Who Didn’t Get Paid Fair Market Value

jacs

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SAN DIEGO--Across the nation, grief stricken Americans mourned for Philip Rivers, a first round draft pick who did not get paid his fair market value by the San Diego Chargers. People of all ages, genders, races, and religious affiliations expressed their solidarity with Rivers in his struggle to get exactly what he has coming to him.

“This is a black day for America,” said Roy Fitzgerald of Tacoma, WA, a caller to San Diego’s Mad Dog Mike Show. “What kind of world do we live in when a highly touted draft pick cannot get paid his fair market value by the team that drafted him? This nation has truly lost its innocence.”

Loren Lapides of Grand Rapids, MI struggled to keep her composure as she voiced her outrage at Chargers GM, LJ Smith.

“Mr. Smith, how could you?” she asked. “This young man has overcome so much adversity in his life, worked his butt off to become a top draft pick, and you spit on him like he’s some two-bit hustler? Shame on you. It’s time all you big corporate types start paying more respect to the working man. If you can’t pay him more than $14 million in guaranteed cash up front, you obviously think very little of him.”

Rivers’ story has struck a chord in the heartland of America, where unemployment is at an all-time high and salaries at an all-time low. The desolate farmlands of the Midwest are fertile breeding grounds for mistrust of the corporations that care more about the bottom line than the needs of their employees.

But the heartbreak over Rivers’ situation is not confined solely to one region of the nation. People from both coasts and every walk of life have come to see the young quarterback as the epitome of all those who struggle during this time of economic hardship.

“I have three kids and I can’t get my boss to give me a raise,” said 39-year-old Matthew Wilhelm of Keane, NH. “I make minimum wage and my boss is up there in his big office making millions off of my sweat. When I heard that Philip Rivers was not being paid his fair market value by the Chargers, I could immediately relate. We are one in the same. We are brothers. Fight the good fight, Philip. Hold out until you get the millions you deserve, you moderately talented quarterback.”

In some parts of the country, citizens marched in support of Rivers in his epic battle with Chargers management. A crowd of about five hundred gathered in Flint, MI, to protest his treatment and offer encouragement to the embattled 22-year-old.

“You are not alone!” shouted Mildred Winneskew, 45, as she marched in front of Flint Town Hall. “Don’t give up until your contractual demands are met, even if it means missing the season and alienating your teammates. What has the world come to, when a young man is expected to play football for less than $15 million dollars up front with bonus incentives? Is this the world we want to leave to our children?”

Rivers, who is being called “America’s quarterback,” has repeatedly insisted that he will not report to camp until his contractual demands are met. His agent, Jimmy Sexton, reiterated that stance yesterday, saying there was “no way” the Chargers current offer is sufficient.

“Their contract offer was so low and pathetic, I almost spit on it and threw it in the trash,” said an emotional Sexton yesterday. “Of all the cruel, greedy, and underhanded things a human being can do, I have to say this is the lowest. Their initial offer was a good one million dollars less than what we wanted. I’m not surprised that Philip’s cause is being championed by Americans everywhere. He represents all that is good about America. It reminds of that baby that got trapped in the well years ago. Remember her? Baby Jessica? Yea, the whole country rallied around her and prayed for her to come out of that well safely. Well, Philip is the new Baby Jessica, only he’s not trapped in a well, he’s negotiating a football contract.”

In what was perhaps the most dramatic moment in the Philip Rivers saga, a crowd of over 1,000 people gathered outside his home in Athens, Alabama in a candlelight vigil to offer support and strength to the young man. Before the night was through, Rivers made an appearance on the balcony and addressed the crowd below.

“I just want to thank everyone for their show of support through these difficult times,” said Rivers. “My family and I have been put through the ringer emotionally. We’ve been subsisting on Ramen noodles, crackers, and RC Cola. I’m sure you can all relate to that. But your strength and encouragement has inspired me to fight harder and win this battle so all Americans can earn a decent living wage and feed their children, and we can all get paid our ‘fair market value.’ I can assure you all that I will not take another penny less. I will not budge from my original demand of a $15 million signing bonus with an incentive laden contract that could give me almost $20 million in up-front guaranteed money. Why? Because I’m an American, that’s why. And what’s more, I’m a professional athlete. We can do whatever the hell we want and people will still love us.”


http://www.thebrushback.com/nationmourns_full.htm
 

VirusX

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LMAO, You must pay me 60 million because of what I DID IN COLLEGE! :mad:


God this **** pisses me off. Prove yourself and THEN go for the contract you ****ing pricks geezus. Its not like you cant buy anything for 250,000+ a year. Good lord.
 

LaTunaNostra

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Amusing rabble rousing, nothing like flattering Joe SixPack into thinking he has any similarity at all to a franchise quarterback.

San Diego seems to have the same problem signing it's first rounder every year.

Somewhere on this board is an article on the incentives offered Rivers.

They are flat out ridiculous.

Rivers shouldn't have to pay for the sins of Ryan Leaf.
 
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