NFL Fan Health Advisory

[Reality]

While reading another thread entitled, "I hate this team", I realized I needed to post this health advisory as quickly as possible.

A new strain of Maddenitis seems to be spreading on the site that has been named "Madden 07" by the scientific community. Unfortunately, there is no known cure for Maddenitis but it is preventable. Symptoms include paranoia, water retension, cyncism, cramps, depression and an uncontrollable urge to infect as many other users as possible. Also, some of the infected appear to suffer from the grass-is-greener complex as well.

In addition to the above mentioned symptoms, infected people may also whine endlessly about every non-superstar player on their team and how the team cannot win without the best players at every position ignoring the fact that other teams have those players under contract and that there is a salary cap system for the league.

If you encounter someone exhibiting these symptoms, please avoid contact with them if at all possible. It is recommended that those infected be quarantined immediately to prevent the virus from spreading to other fans.

This just in .. apparently winning a Super Bowl does seem to cure people infected with Maddenitis though they complain of complete memory loss from the moment they were infected until their team has won the Super Bowl.

Dr. Reality Izfuné

 

[zrinkill]

:laugh2: :laugh1:

 

[Crown Royal]

Quarantine=Opinion Zone


And that was very fune (I dunno the hotkey for the accent, sue me).

 

[Hiero]

someone had to say it. thank god someone that has power to do something did.

 

[Crown Royal]

ADDENDUM:

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO WHEN ENCOUNTERING A THREAD CREATED BY AN INFECTED INDIVIDUAL:

It is the opinion of the medical community that all threads created by an infected fan should be ignored. Attempting to talk sense in the thread will only add to the symptoms of Maddenitis.

It is not enough to simply avoid the member, you must avoid all threads created by the said infirmed. You would be safer visiting a leper ward.

While outside of a SuperBowl, Maddenitis cannot be cured, it can be minimized by not allowing the threads to remain on page one. You can't cure them, but you CAN help to minimize infections.

To help with ignoring these threads, it is recommended that you post in QUALITY THREADS ONLY!. This information has been confirmed by the Surgeon General.

Crown Royal
Board Anesthesiologist

 

[AsthmaField]

Those infected with it should be glad that Reality owns the site and not myself. I'd help them take that particular brand of paranoia and unrealistic garbage somewhere else. Quickly.

I can't stand it.

"I love the Cowboys but I hate this team..." Give me an *****' break.

 

[jackrussell]

 

[Kobal]

Dr. Reality Izfuné

You're French or somethin'?

Good one.

 

[CrazyCowboy]

While reading another thread entitled, "I hate this team", I realized I needed to post this health advisory as quickly as possible.

A new strain of Maddenitis seems to be spreading on the site that has been named "Madden 07" by the scientific community. Unfortunately, there is no known cure for Maddenitis but it is preventable. Symptoms include paranoia, water retension, cyncism, cramps, depression and an uncontrollable urge to infect as many other users as possible. Also, some of the infected appear to suffer from the grass-is-greener complex as well.

In addition to the above mentioned symptoms, infected people may also whine endlessly about every non-superstar player on their team and how the team cannot win without the best players at every position ignoring the fact that other teams have those players under contract and that there is a salary cap system for the league.

If you encounter someone exhibiting these symptoms, please avoid contact with them if at all possible. It is recommended that those infected by quarantined immediately to prevent the virus from spreading to other fans.

This just in .. apparently winning a Super Bowl does seem to cure people infected with Maddenitis though they complain of complete memory loss from the moment they were infected until their team has won the Super Bowl.

Dr. Reality Izfuné

You have a creative mind......good read.......and did I say funny? :laugh2:

 

[Phoenix-Talon]

While reading another thread entitled, "I hate this team", I realized I needed to post this health advisory as quickly as possible.

A new strain of Maddenitis seems to be spreading on the site that has been named "Madden 07" by the scientific community. Unfortunately, there is no known cure for Maddenitis but it is preventable. Symptoms include paranoia, water retension, cyncism, cramps, depression and an uncontrollable urge to infect as many other users as possible. Also, some of the infected appear to suffer from the grass-is-greener complex as well.

In addition to the above mentioned symptoms, infected people may also whine endlessly about every non-superstar player on their team and how the team cannot win without the best players at every position ignoring the fact that other teams have those players under contract and that there is a salary cap system for the league.

If you encounter someone exhibiting these symptoms, please avoid contact with them if at all possible. It is recommended that those infected by quarantined immediately to prevent the virus from spreading to other fans.

This just in .. apparently winning a Super Bowl does seem to cure people infected with Maddenitis though they complain of complete memory loss from the moment they were infected until their team has won the Super Bowl.

Dr. Reality Izfuné

Dr R. Izfuné,

I'd like to offer my services. My fandom experienced an outbreak of the dreaded Maddenitis (aka: Reid 05) in 2005. Unfortunately our quarantine procedures were not enforced in a timely manner and we suffered casualties. During incubation stage of the illness (paranoia, water retension, cyncism, cramps, depression and an uncontrollable urge to infect as many other users as possible) by-weekly therapeutic treatments of foné decreased symptoms significantly. ...

Background of Foné - The word foné (or fun) meaning “amusement” was probably quite new in the 18th century, as records reflect it with disapproval in the dictionary, which was published in 1755. foné is very likely a borrowing of a dialectal form of fon,” to make a fool of, to be foolish,” which has become obsolete in the standard language. The past participle of fon, originally spelled fonned, has become the Modern English word fond. foné is a therapeutic source of amusement, enjoyment, or pleasure.

The good news is that we have found a cure!

A simple extraction of the affected element nullified the disease. Unfortunately, our warnings were not heeded and the disease did spread throughout our franchise. Early detection is key. Again, we wish you success and hope that this will not become a pandemic.

Professor Phoenix-Taloné, Dr.Ef.

 

[Yeagermeister]

Yes sometimes Reality can be funny

 

[Cbz40]

Yes sometimes Reality can be funny

Yes Yeag he can........................

 

[superpunk]

A simple extraction of the affected element nullified the disease. Unfortunately, our warnings were not heeded and the disease did spread throughout our franchise. Early detection is key. Again, we wish you success and hope that this will not become a pandemic.

You could have just said "I hate TO, and blame him for everything bad that happens to the Eagles, and think he will do the same to the Cowboys", and saved everyone some time.

 

[Phoenix-Talon]

You could have just said "I hate TO, and blame him for everything bad that happens to the Eagles, and think he will do the same to the Cowboys", and saved everyone some time.

Quick ...take two aspirin and try to get some Foné !

 

[superpunk]

Quick ...take two aspirin and try to get some Foné !

I don't speak crazy.

 

[Phoenix-Talon]

I don't speak crazy.

You should have went into showbiz ...you're a good actor!

 

[DLCassidy]

It is not enough to simply avoid the member, you must avoid all threads created by the said infirmed. You would be safer visiting a leper ward.

Should we use the "ignore list"? I've only had to do that once and it was an extreme case, someone referring to themselves constantly in the 3rd person. But I don't want to get Maddenitis- should I use the "list"?

 

[superpunk]

Should we use the "ignore list"? I've only had to do that once and it was an extreme case, someone referring to themselves constantly in the 3rd person. But I don't want to get Maddenitis- should I use the "list"?

I've been ignoring myself for about two months now.

 

[Vintage]

Bah!

I am in the process of winning with this current Cowboys team on Madden. 8 min Q, All Madden, so the competition is decent enough.

Admittedly, I plan on overhauling the roster a bit next offseason, regardless where I finish.

Kosier will be relegated to backup dutie, as I will bring in a new LG.
Gurode will be moved to backup RG, and Johnson will be a backup Center, as I bring in a new shiny center.

Aaron Glenn is a goner. I need a future starting CB (Henry has 2 years, maybe 3 before I cut him) Singleton will not be resigned (I can find a cheaper, younger backup...plus Burnett is my utility backup LBer). Copper may or may not be retained.

Ellis was traded for a 1st this year.

If everything goes according to plan....my draft will look like this:
1a) CB
1b) OG
2) Center
3) Developmental WR
4) LB
5-7) BPA

When it comes to Madden, I build better teams than Parcells does. Parcells does seem to have the right idea about Burnett. He's great as a nickle LBer. And I use him in Dime formation as my LBer...as well as Quarter formations...