Redneck Medical Definitions

[Yeagermeister]

Artery
The study of paintings

Bacteria
Back door to cafeteria

Barium
What doctors do when patients die

Benign
What you be, after you be eight

Caesarean Section
A neighborhood in Rome

Cat scan
Searching for Kitty

Cauterize
Made eye contact with her

Colic
A sheep dog

Coma
A punctuation mark

Dilate
To live long

Enema
Not a friend

Fester
Quicker than someone else

Fibula
A small lie

Impotent
Distinguished, well known

Labor Pain
Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff
A Doctor's cane

Morbid
A higher offer

Nitrates
Rates of Pay for Working at Night,
Normally more money than Days

Node
I knew it

Outpatient
A person who has fainted

Pelvis
Second cousin to Elvis

Post Operative
A letter carrier

Recovery Room
Place to do upholstery

Rectum
Nearly killed him

Secretion
Hiding something

Seizure
Roman Emperor

Tablet
A small table

Terminal Illness
Getting sick at the airport

Tumor
One plus one more

Urine
Opposite of you're out

 

[5Stars]

Those are great....!

 

[Sarge]

 

[YosemiteSam]

Can a mod fix the title? It should say Yeagermeister's Medical Definitions. :laugh2:

 

[lane]

enema and barium

lol!!

 

[DallasEast]

Secretion
Hiding something

 

[ethiostar]

:laugh2:

That's Awesome.

It reminds me of this....

"The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition."

Here are the winners from a few years ago.

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease.

9. Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an *******.

 

[jobberone]

Screaming Mini ***** = spinal meningitis

Seeing yourself = menses

edit: Sorry but its screening one of the words

 

[silverbear]

Artery
The study of paintings

Bacteria
Back door to cafeteria

Barium
What doctors do when patients die

Benign
What you be, after you be eight

Caesarean Section
A neighborhood in Rome

Cat scan
Searching for Kitty

Cauterize
Made eye contact with her

Colic
A sheep dog

Coma
A punctuation mark

Dilate
To live long

Enema
Not a friend

Fester
Quicker than someone else

Fibula
A small lie

Impotent
Distinguished, well known

Labor Pain
Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff
A Doctor's cane

Morbid
A higher offer

Nitrates
Rates of Pay for Working at Night,
Normally more money than Days

Node
I knew it

Outpatient
A person who has fainted

Pelvis
Second cousin to Elvis

Post Operative
A letter carrier

Recovery Room
Place to do upholstery

Rectum
Nearly killed him

Secretion
Hiding something

Seizure
Roman Emperor

Tablet
A small table

Terminal Illness
Getting sick at the airport

Tumor
One plus one more

Urine
Opposite of you're out

I don't get what's so funny... isn't that what those words mean??