Reverend Conehead
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In my dream, some people in my original home town figured out that, since I didn't actually play football in high school, I was somehow still eligible to play. Turns out, I had a special ability that no one else had. I could fly exactly two feet off the ground, and I flew about has fast as the very fastest people can run. So they would have a tough time tackling me, having to jump up and pull me down. So everyone was looking forward to me playing football. However, I'm not a teenager anymore, and I have a bad back. I was therefore really worried about playing. They had a sports banquet with lots of good food, especially some nice cake with marshmallow frosting, and some high school girl had a thing for me. I was thinking, "I can't date her! I'm not some pervy goon." She was like, "It's amazing how you fly through the air."
I was trying to figure out how I was going to break it to everyone that I would not be able to be on the team, and it wouldn't be right for me to date that girl. I was super worried that people would be upset with me. I thought maybe I'll just play football for a while, and she'll come to her senses and date the quarterback or something. But I knew I would trash my body if I tried to play football at my age. So I had to some up with an excuse. For some reason, I didn't think "I don't want to get killed" was a good one.
When I woke up, I realized, I didn't have to let anyone down. I didn't have to make up an excuse. I didn't have to play and get clobbered. What a relief.
I was trying to figure out how I was going to break it to everyone that I would not be able to be on the team, and it wouldn't be right for me to date that girl. I was super worried that people would be upset with me. I thought maybe I'll just play football for a while, and she'll come to her senses and date the quarterback or something. But I knew I would trash my body if I tried to play football at my age. So I had to some up with an excuse. For some reason, I didn't think "I don't want to get killed" was a good one.
When I woke up, I realized, I didn't have to let anyone down. I didn't have to make up an excuse. I didn't have to play and get clobbered. What a relief.