Reverend Conehead
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I know it's not spring, but I still call it spring cleaning, which is getting rid of all that crap that I don't use. It's amazing how you think you need some dumb thing, buy it, and then rarely or never use it. Here I am going through my closet:
"Pizza-cutting scissors? Get rid of. Sauna pants? Nah, bye. Dog umbrella? Why'd I get that? I don't even have a dog. Anti-flatulence blanket? Donate. Musical toilet paper roll? Annoying -- get rid of. Wax Vac ear wax remover? Nah, toss. Talking butt massager. What was I thinking? Get rid of. Mind control lip balm? Didn't work. Throw out. Self-stirring mug? The guy on TV made it look good, but I never use it. Get rid of. Brown bald-spot spray? Messy and stupid. Toss out."
"Pizza-cutting scissors? Get rid of. Sauna pants? Nah, bye. Dog umbrella? Why'd I get that? I don't even have a dog. Anti-flatulence blanket? Donate. Musical toilet paper roll? Annoying -- get rid of. Wax Vac ear wax remover? Nah, toss. Talking butt massager. What was I thinking? Get rid of. Mind control lip balm? Didn't work. Throw out. Self-stirring mug? The guy on TV made it look good, but I never use it. Get rid of. Brown bald-spot spray? Messy and stupid. Toss out."