The Linebacker Freak's Mock Draft, picks 1-20

dwmyers

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Why? because it only takes so much twisted "we must have a linebacker at all costs" logic to dream up a draft board something like this..

1. Houston. A.J. Hawk, OLB. "Clearly the best linebacker in the draft."
2. New Orleans. C. Greenway, OLB. "Mario? Mario who?"
3. Tennessee. V. Young, OLB. "We see him as the next Ted Hendricks."
4. Jets. M Leinart, QB. Leinart apologizes after being drafted for not being a LB.
5. Green Bay. B Carpenter, OLB. "Wah Wah! We should have had A.J. Hawk. This isn't fair!"
6. San Francisco, M. Lawson, OLB. "Who cares if he can't stop Pee Wee Hermann on a power sweep, he can really rush the passer!"
7. Oakland. V Davis, OLB. "Who wants to be a TE when you can cover TEs!"
8. Buffalo. M. Huff, OLB. "I wanted in on the fun too!"
9. Detroit. Chad Jackson, WR. "4 and counting!"
10. Arizona Cardinals, Jay Cutler, QB. "We would have drafted a linebacker but we really needed to be able to score more than 5 points a game."
11. St Louis Rams, K Wimbley, OLB. "We think he can play some DE for us too."
12. Cleveland Browns, Reggie Bush, OLB. "Best value on the board at this point, though the position change may be a bit of a reach."
13. Baltimore. Charlie Whitehurst, QB. Because it isn't a Baltimore draft if they haven't reached for a QB.
14. Philadelphia. D Brickshaw Ferguson, OT. Because saving 10 million in bonus money on a T is even more important than drafting a LB.
15. Denver, D'Quell Jackson, LB. *Gasp* Fills an actual need!
16. Miami. Ernie Sims, LB. "We were looking at several candidates, but Sims is from Florida."
17. Minnesota, Chris Gocong, LB. "Most people rated him in the third round, but we felt he had first round talent."
18. Dallas Reggie McNeill, OLB. "Because who can resist a linebacker with a 4.3 40?"
19. San Diego, Jimmy Williams, CB. "We drafted a LB last year, and our pass defense sucks."
20. Kansas City, Haloti Ngata, LB. "We wanted to get away from sissy football and smash some people in the mouth again."

David.
 

dwmyers

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You don't understand!!1!!!?2??!

Without outside linebackers, the world will fall into Cha0s!

Chikens will be living with dogs and cats, Osama Bin Laden will own the shopping channel, and kids will be reading smut and eating Snickers until their teeth fall out!

It must be true, since the combined paged output on OLB in the Cowboys Zone exceeds every other position combined!1!

Don't you see??2??
 
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