timb2
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Yes it's time to satirically make fun of our Cowboys Owner who's delusions and stupidity make the Cowboys Franchise a laughingstock. Almost 30 years without a Superbowl appearance and Jerry can't figure out he's the problem as the GM.
There's rules for Jerry's Mock Draft ,10 of them to be exact of how Jerry thinks. Unlike former Raiders Owner/ GM Al Davis who atleast looked at Combine stats of who's the fastest, strongest, etc. Jerry has the most ridiculous and stupidest reasons why he picks players.
Here are the 10 rules that I figured out..
1- Jerry loves his Alma Mater Arkansas.
If Jerry can't draft a Arkansas player, years later he will grab Razorbacks as free agents.
2- No Miami Hurricanes since Jimmy Johnson left.
Jerry still hates that Jimmy Johnson gets all the credit for the 90s team and not him. Except for that fluke year where somehow the handlers talked Jerry to except 2 Hurricanes in the 4th round which Jerry got rid of them by the next season. Only 2 drafted since 1995
3- Jerry likes Weird Names & Stupid Nicknames.
If you have some foreign sounding name hard to pronounce or some silly nickname like Mosquito, Goober,Skeeter Jerry is infatuated with you.
4- Jerry likes Criminals & Crazies.
If you just got release from prison or a mental asylum. Jerry is very interested in you.
5- Jerry likes drafting from Small Schools
Jerry thinks he can find that undiscovered gem from some Division 3 school no one ever heard of. Powerhouses like Sacred Heart or Indiana of Pennsylvania.
6- Jerry likes Frankensteins on his O- Line
Jerry doesn't care if you were born with two left feet , can't walk and chew bubble gum at the same time, or even you could be timed by a sundial in the 40 yard dash. As long as your big Jerry wants you.
7- Jerry likes midgets at WR,LB,and RB.
Jerry is constantly drafting some runt who could be blown over by strong wind.( See Deuce Vaughn, Zuriel Smith,etc.)
8- Jerry likes players with the last name " Jones".
Jerry constantly gets players named " Jones". I believe Jerry fantasizes that's him when the announcer calls their name.
9- Jerry will grab a couple of white guys as tokens.
Not to say they're are not white guys who can't play, but Jerry seems he has to have one in camp at LB, WR,S,DT usually.
10- The Homer Pick
Jerry will pick the homestate Texas kid if fans are upset about earlier draft picks he made to appease the fans.
Any college player in the state of Texas.
Mock Draft next post
There's rules for Jerry's Mock Draft ,10 of them to be exact of how Jerry thinks. Unlike former Raiders Owner/ GM Al Davis who atleast looked at Combine stats of who's the fastest, strongest, etc. Jerry has the most ridiculous and stupidest reasons why he picks players.
Here are the 10 rules that I figured out..
1- Jerry loves his Alma Mater Arkansas.
If Jerry can't draft a Arkansas player, years later he will grab Razorbacks as free agents.
2- No Miami Hurricanes since Jimmy Johnson left.
Jerry still hates that Jimmy Johnson gets all the credit for the 90s team and not him. Except for that fluke year where somehow the handlers talked Jerry to except 2 Hurricanes in the 4th round which Jerry got rid of them by the next season. Only 2 drafted since 1995
3- Jerry likes Weird Names & Stupid Nicknames.
If you have some foreign sounding name hard to pronounce or some silly nickname like Mosquito, Goober,Skeeter Jerry is infatuated with you.
4- Jerry likes Criminals & Crazies.
If you just got release from prison or a mental asylum. Jerry is very interested in you.
5- Jerry likes drafting from Small Schools
Jerry thinks he can find that undiscovered gem from some Division 3 school no one ever heard of. Powerhouses like Sacred Heart or Indiana of Pennsylvania.
6- Jerry likes Frankensteins on his O- Line
Jerry doesn't care if you were born with two left feet , can't walk and chew bubble gum at the same time, or even you could be timed by a sundial in the 40 yard dash. As long as your big Jerry wants you.
7- Jerry likes midgets at WR,LB,and RB.
Jerry is constantly drafting some runt who could be blown over by strong wind.( See Deuce Vaughn, Zuriel Smith,etc.)
8- Jerry likes players with the last name " Jones".
Jerry constantly gets players named " Jones". I believe Jerry fantasizes that's him when the announcer calls their name.
9- Jerry will grab a couple of white guys as tokens.
Not to say they're are not white guys who can't play, but Jerry seems he has to have one in camp at LB, WR,S,DT usually.
10- The Homer Pick
Jerry will pick the homestate Texas kid if fans are upset about earlier draft picks he made to appease the fans.
Any college player in the state of Texas.
Mock Draft next post
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