Top 5 Regrets By Those Dying

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I came across an article some time ago by Bonnie Ware that listed, by number of times mentioned, the top 5 things dying patients say they regret most in life. It impacted me in a great way. Their answers are insightful and can assist anyone interested in living a fuller life.

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life truer to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was by far the most commonly mentioned regret. As people are dying, they realize all of the dreams and hopes that have gone unfulfilled, mostly because they lived their lives, at least in part, trying to please others.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This was mentioned by every single male patient interviewed. Women also mentioned working too hard as a deep regret.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings better.

Most people suppress their feeling in order to keep peace with others. In fact, several had developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result. Often times, we’ll settle for mediocre results in life because we don’t have the courage to express / communicate what we really feel. Love someone? Tell them today.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends more.

Most dying patients don’t realize how valuable good friends are until their last weeks on earth. We become so caught up in our own lives that we often let golden friendships die.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This one surprised me slightly at first but then became deeply profound in my life. I believe this regret comes from the eventual realization that we truly are on this earth to experience happiness. It’s time to start letting yourself be exactly that. Most importantly, realizing that happiness is a choice unlocks a new world.

I’ve begun to ask myself several questions each day. They have helped me accomplish a lot of my dreams at a young age. Perhaps these questions can help you accomplish yours.

What would you do today if you knew you couldn’t fail? *You should go out and do it.

In very literal terms, what would you do this week if you knew you were dying in the following week? *You should do it.

What is the absolute worst thing that could come from making this decision? If you fail, how will your life be different in a week, a month or several years? *Hint, It’s usually not nearly as bad as you think and more often than not, your life won’t be affected nearly as badly as you fear. Act.​
 

bbgun

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“They say on your deathbed you never wish you spent more time at the office. But I will. It’s gotta be a lot better than a deathbed. I don’t even understand deathbeds. Who would ever buy one?” -- Michael Scott
 

yimyammer

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joseephuss;4313265 said:
6. I wish I would have avoided Cowboyszone.com, ESPN, NFL Network, ESPN.com, SI.com, local TV & radio shows and the Dallas Morning News Sports page after losses.

fixed your post, been doing that this week and its helped immensely but I still cant resist popping into the Cowboyzone, but I'm not reading every thread
 

VietCowboy

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I really have a simple list of things.

1) Don't live a life of "what if" - that means if I am uncertain, I try rather than not. I haven't had much to look back and thought what if, so I'm doing good so far on this.

2) The grass is green where you water and care for it, not the other side. I always appreciate what I have, and I'll work for what I want, but if I don't get it, it's not a dealbreaker. If I don't get a good grade, I'll try harder next time. If I don't get a house, next time, etc etc.

Here's my favorite quote about it:

"Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances, you just have to live life to the fullest. Laugh as much as you can, spend all your money, tell someone what they mean to you, tell someone off, speak out, dare to be different, dance in the pouring rain, hold someones hand, comfort a friend, pig out, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, & smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because when you look back someday, knowing you have no regrets, it's going to be what makes you smile."
 

Hoofbite

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vta;4313768 said:
The grass is always greener...

I think:

"Yellow grass beats the hell out of no grass"

Seems a little more fitting in this case.
 

Eskimo

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In my area of practice I don't see many people die. However, I always remember how bad I felt for those who died alone. I also always remembered trying to contact family quickly when someone's case turned for the worst and tried to exhort the family to come in now even though I couldn't guarantee the patient would be dead before the morning (sorry, I am not God - didn't come with the degree).
 

VietCowboy

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Great article/blog on when some doctors make end of life decisions.

How Doctors Die

It’s not a frequent topic of discussion, but doctors die, too. And they don’t die like the rest of us. What’s unusual about them is not how much treatment they get compared to most Americans, but how little. For all the time they spend fending off the deaths of others, they tend to be fairly serene when faced with death themselves. They know exactly what is going to happen, they know the choices, and they generally have access to any sort of medical care they could want. But they go gently.
 

YosemiteSam

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CowboysZone LOYAL Fan
  1. I don't live by anyone standards, but my own. Sometimes my wife wishes otherwise! :laugh2:
  2. The greatest thing about my job is, on normal days. It's only as hard as I make it. The only time it gets really difficult is when large changes happen. (we are moving soon, that will be difficult). Other than that, I automate almost everything and then just manage the monitoring I've setup. Easy breezy.
  3. Expressing feelings is something I had trouble with until I was about 25. My angry snapped one day and I went off. Since then, I do not worry about what people think about how I feel. I'm going to tell you if I don't like something.
  4. Many of my friends are dead, in jail, or are bottom dwellers who have drug problems or can't support themselves. The ones that aren't, I keep lose ties too. The rest I couldn't care less about keeping in contact with.
  5. There are very few things I do not do to keep myself happy. I still do risky things because I want the experience. (scuba diving, and the like) While SCUBAS is risky, I minimize what I do of that nature and do not do highly risky things that some people seem to do without thought. (drug use, drinking and driving, etc)

It's about walking the line. Keep yourself happy, but don't be stupid about it. Worrying about what everyone else is doing or thinks about what you're doing is stupid.
 

vta

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Sam I Am;4314737 said:
Really? Not me. I'm racing to the box! :D

Smoke up Johnny!

marlboro-red-lights.jpg
 

vta

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Sam I Am;4314867 said:
I smoked for many many years, but I quite in Oct. 5th 2000.

11 years of breathing better, good for you.
 
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