Yeah, nothing screams “winner” more than a football fan who hates his favorite football team’s successful starting QB!
A: I don't hate the starting QB of my favorite team.
B: I don't define the success of my favorite team by how much the QB is paid or by individual accomplishments.
I think we are getting to the root of your problems though. Take some advice, ma'am. Try and find some peace for yourself. Find a way to become comfortable with yourself. Trying to elevate yourself on the back of someone you idolize, using that person's success as a platform to boost your own ego by attempting to discredit your "enemies" is a losers game.
The sooner you figure this out and take action the sooner you will be able to let go of some of this irrational anger you have towards others.
Frankly, I don't have much hope for you. Especially at your age. Old dogs can be taught new tricks but they have to want to learn. I don't see much of that in you. You have my sympathies. I feel for you. At least you will have some fleeting moments of what you consider joy looking up at your new Dak poster. You'll always have that. I think he's looking right at YOU.