Should I seek revenge on the guy who stole my girl?

[Reverend Conehead]

You guys know that I'm a time traveler. Recently, I went back in time to ancient Egypt and had a passionate love affair with Cleopatra. Things were going great until this jerk named Mark Antony showed up and stole her from me. I've been licking my wounds trying to get over this. I'd bet Amber Heard went back in time, disguised herself as a servant, and talked her into dumping me for that other dude.
...
So I'm seeking advice. Should I go back in time to try to get my girl back or just let it slide? I do have other options. There's this Neanderthal chick named Moogloolillia from the Plesogoonieclubstine era that was into me, but I really didn't like that primitive prehistoric era.

 

[nobody]

Go back in time and trick Cleopatra into kissing an asp. That'll teach her.

 

[Reality]

You guys know that I'm a time traveler. Recently, I went back in time to ancient Egypt and had a passionate love affair with Cleopatra. Things were going great until this jerk named Mark Antony showed up and stole her from me. I've been licking my wounds trying to get over this. I'd bet Amber Heard went back in time, disguised herself as a servant, and talked her into dumping me for that other dude.
...
So I'm seeking advice. Should I go back in time to try to get my girl back or just let it slide? I do have other options. There's this Neanderthal chick named Moogloolillia from the Plesogoonieclubstine era that was into me, but I really didn't like that primitive prehistoric era.

Like I was telling you next week, traveling back to the past is just not worth the repercussions it would inflict on the rest of the world.

 

[Reverend Conehead]

Like I was telling you next week, traveling back to the past is just not worth the repercussions it would inflict on the rest of the world.

You may be right. So far, every time I've time traveled, there's always been some kind of catch. Something always goes wrong. I had all kinds of trouble going back in time to 1965 France to become a film noir star. The first time, I got the year right, but materialized in Antarctica under frozen tundra. Then I tried again and got the year and place right, but the altitude was wrong. I was at 20,000 feet plunging to the earth. I was able to abort and land in my swimming pool. I tried again, getting the place and altitude right, but I had accidentally set it to 1965 BC. There was also a big catch when I went back in time to prevent President Nixon from getting assassinated. I succeeded by preventing him from winning the 1960 election of the original timeline, but then JFK who was the new winner ended up getting killed instead. I also went back and prevented Marty Schottenheimer from taking over the reigns from Tom Landry by making sure that Jerry Jones buys the team. That worked great at first, but we all know of the bad side effects that's had.
...
There's always a catch.