Having a girl best friend

[blumayne38]

Ive had a friend now for about 12-13 years now...we met in high school sophmore year....ive always been attracted to her she is a beautiful woman and im well meehh..Well in between all of that i met another woman eventually and we ended up having 2 beautiful children..and because of her jealousy me and my best friend somewhat drifted away and spoke rarely if not at all for about 3-4 years. Well me and my girlfriend are now split up. Its been about 3 months. Now that we are over i have been going out a bit more often, and i recently ran into her at a bar, mind that we have always been a little more close then most best friends imo weve kissed, held hands, cuddled things of that nature but never have "hit the homerun" lol per say...and i dont mind at all. Back to the story we recently bumped into eachother and she was a bit more touchy feely then i can remember, saying things like "i missed you alot" and "i love you"...and quite honestly i felt the exact same way, which to me was a dream come true..anyways i ended up going to a friends for after hours drinks and well i text her "it was nice seeing you again i really missed you" and to my suprise she ended up calling me and inviting me over to her place. I immediately dropped my plans and said i would be rite over, so i took the drive and when i got there i was greeted with a hug and an immediate kiss we layed together and i may have went a little farther then i normally would have years ago...which by the way was awsome ..but still no "homerun". We were both a little intoxicated which by the way seems to be the only way we ever seem to connect romantically. We all know the saying "the truth comes out when your drunk". But anways back to my story and almost to my point, this time it seemed diffrent i felt something else something i havent felt in a long time essentially LOVE i felt like is was brand new...and from what she said she agreed. Okay now to my point...its been about a week since the day and either of us have had the courage to talk about it sober..which seems all to familiar.Now my question to all my cowboy buddies since this is the only forum i post on....should i bite the bullet and approach her and maybe be rejected and ruin any comfort she has with me as a friend OR should i bite my tounge and just continue this long term friendship???....help!

 

[HeavyBarrel]

Don't talk, just roll with it.....

 

[yimyammer]

I'm a firm believer in being decisive by deciding what I want from a woman, making my intentions clearly known to her and then letting the chips fall where they may. Basing your actions on how you feel she will respond or what you think/fear she may be thinking or how she might react is a recipe for failure imo.

You've known her long enough to know how you feel about her and a friendship is a great foundation for a long lasting relationship, so if you know you truly care for her, I say go for it.

Don't be skerd!

 

[JoeyBoy718]

Seems a little strange, to be honest. It seems like you've always been infatuated with her, and by the words you've used, it seems like that's been because she is "out of your league physically." Now, don't get me wrong. I've been friends with a few girls who were out of my league while I tried to work my way in for something more, but when I knew it wasn't gonna happen, I didn't pursue it anymore. But the friendships weren't anything serious. I just settled as a friend temporarily. And I've also had friends as girls who I had no intention of taking it to anything more because I cherished them as a friend. I would never hide secret intentions from those girls I cherished as friends. Whereas, in your case, it seems like you settled for beings friends your entire life and even became lifelong best friends with this girl. But that whole time, you would have dropped everything and everyone else in an instant if she said yes. I'm not really sure if I would call that true friendship. Just my opinion. To be honest, it seems a little immature. Looks are great, but as you get older and more mature, you realize there are more important things. Everything you've described was about her great looks and how you "almost hit a home run." This isn't the kind of language someone with two children usually uses. I don't mean to be impolite. I'm just trying to give my honest opinion since you asked and since we usually don't get this kind of stuff here on CZ.

 

[JBS]

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take

The last thing you want to happen is to have that "what if" feeling...

Don't be that guy

Go for it...you get shut down, no big deal, you'll get over it...by the sounds of things, you may never get over that "what if" feeling

 

[LittleBoyBlue]

Ive had a friend now for about 12-13 years now...we met in high school sophmore year....ive always been attracted to her she is a beautiful woman and im well meehh..Well in between all of that i met another woman eventually and we ended up having 2 beautiful children..and because of her jealousy me and my best friend somewhat drifted away and spoke rarely if not at all for about 3-4 years. Well me and my girlfriend are now split up. Its been about 3 months. Now that we are over i have been going out a bit more often, and i recently ran into her at a bar, mind that we have always been a little more close then most best friends imo weve kissed, held hands, cuddled things of that nature but never have "hit the homerun" lol per say...and i dont mind at all. Back to the story we recently bumped into eachother and she was a bit more touchy feely then i can remember, saying things like "i missed you alot" and "i love you"...and quite honestly i felt the exact same way, which to me was a dream come true..anyways i ended up going to a friends for after hours drinks and well i text her "it was nice seeing you again i really missed you" and to my suprise she ended up calling me and inviting me over to her place. I immediately dropped my plans and said i would be rite over, so i took the drive and when i got there i was greeted with a hug and an immediate kiss we layed together and i may have went a little farther then i normally would have years ago...which by the way was awsome ..but still no "homerun". We were both a little intoxicated which by the way seems to be the only way we ever seem to connect romantically. We all know the saying "the truth comes out when your drunk". But anways back to my story and almost to my point, this time it seemed diffrent i felt something else something i havent felt in a long time essentially LOVE i felt like is was brand new...and from what she said she agreed. Okay now to my point...its been about a week since the day and either of us have had the courage to talk about it sober..which seems all to familiar.Now my question to all my cowboy buddies since this is the only forum i post on....should i bite the bullet and approach her and maybe be rejected and ruin any comfort she has with me as a friend OR should i bite my tounge and just continue this long term friendship???....help!

Meet with her sober.
No drinking alcohol.

That is the real truth.

 

[CyberB0b]

I didn't read the OP, because it was too many words. Bang her.

 

[Longboysfan]

Call. Connect.
Go from there.

 

[LittleBoyBlue]

I didn't read the OP, because it was too many words. Bang her.

Lol... There's always that approach ... Lmao

 

[blumayne38]

Lmao....i wish it was that simple if you read the op...its a lil more complicated then that shes beautiful and im mehh...but i like the inspiration

 

[LittleBoyBlue]

Lmao....i wish it was that simple if you read the op...its a lil more complicated then that shes beautiful and im mehh...but i like the inspiration

After you take Bob's advice... You may go from "mehh" to "YEAH"!

Lol

 

[CyberB0b]

Lmao....i wish it was that simple if you read the op...its a lil more complicated then that shes beautiful and im mehh...but i like the inspiration

Here's some inspiration:

 

[big dog cowboy]

Step 1: Ignore Bob.

Step 2: Bite the bullet and approach her.

 

[LittleBoyBlue]

Step 1: Ignore Bob.

Step 2: Bite the bullet and approach her.

Lol

 

[blumayne38]

Seems a little strange, to be honest. It seems like you've always been infatuated with her, and by the words you've used, it seems like that's been because she is "out of your league physically." Now, don't get me wrong. I've been friends with a few girls who were out of my league while I tried to work my way in for something more, but when I knew it wasn't gonna happen, I didn't pursue it anymore. But the friendships weren't anything serious. I just settled as a friend temporarily. And I've also had friends as girls who I had no intention of taking it to anything more because I cherished them as a friend. I would never hide secret intentions from those girls I cherished as friends. Whereas, in your case, it seems like you settled for beings friends your entire life and even became lifelong best friends with this girl. But that whole time, you would have dropped everything and everyone else in an instant if she said yes. I'm not really sure if I would call that true friendship. Just my opinion. To be honest, it seems a little immature. Looks are great, but as you get older and more mature, you realize there are more important things. Everything you've described was about her great looks and how you "almost hit a home run." This isn't the kind of language someone with two children usually uses. I don't mean to be impolite. I'm just trying to give my honest opinion since you asked and since we usually don't get this kind of stuff here on CZ.

Maybe your rite ... But "almost hit a homerun" i didnt mean for it to come off like that, maybe i could have just said "have sex" that was a lil immature. Because when i went over i knew it wasnt gonna happen but it had been so long since i seen her that i really wanted to catch up but the mood was a little bit different then as of old...she seemed more into me then i was into her as if the tables had turned and naturally i responded i kept my kool never getting to silly about the situation. Now having read everything you said i understand there is a choice and its either i step up and approach her SOBER and tell her exactly how i feel and hope for the best. Or just be content like you said and enjoy having a life long friend. Its honestly a difficult choice for me and i thank everyone for your advice and awsome humor..so thanks everyone

 

[blumayne38]

Here's some inspiration:

This made me laugh out loud bro!

 

[jimmy40]

Ive had a friend now for about 12-13 years now...we met in high school sophmore year....ive always been attracted to her she is a beautiful woman and im well meehh..Well in between all of that i met another woman eventually and we ended up having 2 beautiful children..and because of her jealousy me and my best friend somewhat drifted away and spoke rarely if not at all for about 3-4 years. Well me and my girlfriend are now split up. Its been about 3 months. Now that we are over i have been going out a bit more often, and i recently ran into her at a bar, mind that we have always been a little more close then most best friends imo weve kissed, held hands, cuddled things of that nature but never have "hit the homerun" lol per say...and i dont mind at all. Back to the story we recently bumped into eachother and she was a bit more touchy feely then i can remember, saying things like "i missed you alot" and "i love you"...and quite honestly i felt the exact same way, which to me was a dream come true..anyways i ended up going to a friends for after hours drinks and well i text her "it was nice seeing you again i really missed you" and to my suprise she ended up calling me and inviting me over to her place. I immediately dropped my plans and said i would be rite over, so i took the drive and when i got there i was greeted with a hug and an immediate kiss we layed together and i may have went a little farther then i normally would have years ago...which by the way was awsome ..but still no "homerun". We were both a little intoxicated which by the way seems to be the only way we ever seem to connect romantically. We all know the saying "the truth comes out when your drunk". But anways back to my story and almost to my point, this time it seemed diffrent i felt something else something i havent felt in a long time essentially LOVE i felt like is was brand new...and from what she said she agreed. Okay now to my point...its been about a week since the day and either of us have had the courage to talk about it sober..which seems all to familiar.Now my question to all my cowboy buddies since this is the only forum i post on....should i bite the bullet and approach her and maybe be rejected and ruin any comfort she has with me as a friend OR should i bite my tounge and just continue this long term friendship???....help!

 

[blumayne38]

Less is more rite?

Don't talk, just roll with it.....

 

[Tabascocat]

The worst that can happen is she says that she just wants to be friends. Take a shot young man!

 

[Nova]

The way I see it, you don't have much to lose. You haven't really had a relationship with her in 3 years which means she really isn't that essential to your life now.

Sure you may have been best friends once before, and maybe you still feel really close to each other, but you did fine without her for a long time and you would do fine without her if your advance makes things awkward.

Besides, you were always attracted to her-- did you ever really want to be just friends? The way you talk about her; the excitement you type with now seems to indicate that romance was always what you really wanted.

So it seems your biggest fear here is really just rejection... And for good reason. This opportunity has culminated over years, and this rejection would sting more than the usual kind. She's not just some girl . You have invested a lot of time, energy, and emotion into her.

But if you don't make a move, what's the point? Friendship really isn't enough for you and continuing said friendship would effectively be a prison sentence. Nothing would go forward and you would slowly see her gravitate toward someone else, grow away from you, and live the life you maybe could have had with her.

You don't want that. I know you don't want that. So suck it up, bite the bullet, and strike when the iron is hot. (Which is right now, if that wasn't clear). The timing right now is better than it will probably ever be. The more you wait, the more you settle back into the friendzone and the harder the leap becomes.