Having a girl best friend

[WV Cowboy]

"Sorry, but I think you need to grow up and stop acting like some high schooler."

It's pretty neat that you picked that one statement out, .. because I put a lot of thought into that statement.
After reading through his OP, and then all of the response posts from, "nail her", "bang her", "get her drunk", "take it slow", etc., I wanted to say something to him to - BOOM!, get his attention, .. to make him think.

So because I couldn't look him in eye, man to man and tell him, I tried to start with something that would grab his attention, .. something controversial.

So I apologized for what I was about to say, and then I tried to attack his comfort zone, and shock him into listening. (I'm not sure that I succeeded though)

Anyone that knows my posting habits knows I don't normally come busting into a thread with guns a blazin'.
But I tried to do just that with that opening statement this time.

And many have presumed why they thought I took the opinion that I did. I was told I was presumptuous, condenscending, judgmental, and even had my nose high up in the air. So if I am the bad guy in this thread, but he listened and thought about his actions for just a second, then so be it. I can live with that. I hope I got him to think.

I am sure some presumed that my take on this was based on my faith, my morality steeped in that faith.
(Perhaps my comments about his living habits were based on that .. LOL, but my true concern was about the kids.)

Let me tell you real quick why, as I read his OP, .. why all I could think of was his kids as he moves his family forward.

A friend of mine from work and his wife split. He had his wife leave him after 10-12 years of marriage .. for another woman. They had two daughters. His pride was hurt I'm sure, and so he got back into the dating scene rather quickly.

I asked him to proceed with caution.

So he meets this girl. A pretty girl, attractive, a very smart girl, .. she was completing medical school soon with some sort of degree in Cardiology. Great girl, great find, .. right?

Wrong.

She did not like children, did not ever want to have any children.
But he is smitten with this girl, and so he continues on with the relationship.

So now, after a couple of years, her relationship with his oldest daughter is, .. meh, she tolerates her. But the girlfriends relationship with the younger daughter is toxic, ugly, confrontational. They butt heads about everything. They do NOT get along.
He has a HUGE problem now.

So as I was reading the OP in this thread, all I could think about was his kids. Hopefully you can understand now why I took the stand that I did.
I was just trying to give him the best advice that I could, to not think with the "wrong part of his body", and keep his focus on his kids.
I kept thinking about my buddy, .. and just wanted to remind this guy not to forget the impact his decisions would have on his kids as he charged on with "his bat" in his hands as he tried to "hit a home run."

 

[LittleBoyBlue]

It's pretty neat that you picked that one statement out, .. because I put a lot of thought into that statement.
After reading through his OP, and then all of the response posts from, "nail her", "bang her", "get her drunk", "take it slow", etc., I wanted to say something to him to - BOOM!, get his attention, .. to make him think.

So because I couldn't look him in eye, man to man and tell him, I tried to start with something that would grab his attention, .. something controversial.

So I apologized for what I was about to say, and then I tried to attack his comfort zone, and shock him into listening. (I'm not sure that I succeeded though)

Anyone that knows my posting habits knows I don't normally come busting into a thread with guns a blazin'.
But I tried to do just that with that opening statement this time.

And many have presumed why they thought I took the opinion that I did. I was told I was presumptuous, condenscending, judgmental, and even had my nose high up in the air. So if I am the bad guy in this thread, but he listened and thought about his actions for just a second, then so be it. I can live with that. I hope I got him to think.

I am sure some presumed that my take on this was based on my faith, my morality steeped in that faith.
(Perhaps my comments about his living habits were based on that .. LOL, but my true concern was about the kids.)

Let me tell you real quick why, as I read his OP, .. why all I could think of was his kids as he moves his family forward.

A friend of mine from work and his wife split. He had his wife leave him after 10-12 years of marriage .. for another woman. They had two daughters. His pride was hurt I'm sure, and so he got back into the dating scene rather quickly.

I asked him to proceed with caution.

So he meets this girl. A pretty girl, attractive, a very smart girl, .. she was completing medical school soon with some sort of degree in Cardiology. Great girl, great find, .. right?

Wrong.

She did not like children, did not ever want to have any children.
But he is smitten with this girl, and so he continues on with the relationship.

So now, after a couple of years, her relationship with his oldest daughter is, .. meh, she tolerates her. But the girlfriends relationship with the younger daughter is toxic, ugly, confrontational. They butt heads about everything. They do NOT get along.
He has a HUGE problem now.

So as I was reading the OP in this thread, all I could think about was his kids. Hopefully you can understand now why I took the stand that I did.
I was just trying to give him the best advice that I could, to not think with the "wrong part of his body", and keep his focus on his kids.
I kept thinking about my buddy, .. and just wanted to remind this guy not to forget the impact his decisions would have on his kids as he charged on with "his bat" in his hands as he tried to "hit a home run."

For your kids theme of answering questions

 

[RS12]

I didn't read the OP, because it was too many words. Bang her.

 

[chagus]

Ive had a friend now for about 12-13 years now...we met in high school sophmore year....ive always been attracted to her she is a beautiful woman and im well meehh..Well in between all of that i met another woman eventually and we ended up having 2 beautiful children..and because of her jealousy me and my best friend somewhat drifted away and spoke rarely if not at all for about 3-4 years. Well me and my girlfriend are now split up. Its been about 3 months. Now that we are over i have been going out a bit more often, and i recently ran into her at a bar, mind that we have always been a little more close then most best friends imo weve kissed, held hands, cuddled things of that nature but never have "hit the homerun" lol per say...and i dont mind at all. Back to the story we recently bumped into eachother and she was a bit more touchy feely then i can remember, saying things like "i missed you alot" and "i love you"...and quite honestly i felt the exact same way, which to me was a dream come true..anyways i ended up going to a friends for after hours drinks and well i text her "it was nice seeing you again i really missed you" and to my suprise she ended up calling me and inviting me over to her place. I immediately dropped my plans and said i would be rite over, so i took the drive and when i got there i was greeted with a hug and an immediate kiss we layed together and i may have went a little farther then i normally would have years ago...which by the way was awsome ..but still no "homerun". We were both a little intoxicated which by the way seems to be the only way we ever seem to connect romantically. We all know the saying "the truth comes out when your drunk". But anways back to my story and almost to my point, this time it seemed diffrent i felt something else something i havent felt in a long time essentially LOVE i felt like is was brand new...and from what she said she agreed. Okay now to my point...its been about a week since the day and either of us have had the courage to talk about it sober..which seems all to familiar.Now my question to all my cowboy buddies since this is the only forum i post on....should i bite the bullet and approach her and maybe be rejected and ruin any comfort she has with me as a friend OR should i bite my tounge and just continue this long term friendship???....help!

Ummm... your ex wasnt jealous. She KNEW about your relationship (borderline **** buddy) with your "friend". As far as developing something with her it just depends on what you REALLY want out of it which according to your post is pretty much physical. So my advise: rub one out before you go see her cuz it looks like your gonna spill the beans way too soon.

 

[JoeyBoy718]

This thread's getting a little out of control. This is probably why there aren't many threads like this on CZ.

 

[blumayne38]

Ummm... your ex wasnt jealous. She KNEW about your relationship (borderline **** buddy) with your "friend". As far as developing something with her it just depends on what you REALLY want out of it which according to your post is pretty much physical. So my advise: rub one out before you go see her cuz it looks like your gonna spill the beans way too soon.

Borderline...the worst response of all..because there is no such thing as a borderline "smashbuddy"if you read the op i said we never got that close until i reunited with her this last time which is why i was asking for advice because it didnt feel the same as before. I was a little immature the way i expressed my intentions on the Op because it dosent relay the way i actually feel towards this girl i genuinely care for her its not only sexual we have both been there for eachother when needed for lots of different reasons relationship problems, family problems..exct. WV the only fact i can get out of all your responses is you are completely delusional on what you think you know...and assume you know everything...not everyone is the same. In a short sentance you could have said..." I advise you to think about your kids first and as for the girl just make sure her intentions with you are coming from the rite place for your kids sake." without all the assumptions...i appreciate everything though, all of the advice..and i agree with joeyboy this thread is getting out of control..we should lock it or just maybe delete it if possible. I also thank everyone who spoke up for me and worded it more nicely then i ever could have

 

[blumayne38]

Ummm... your ex wasnt jealous. She KNEW about your relationship (borderline **** buddy) with your "friend". As far as developing something with her it just depends on what you REALLY want out of it which according to your post is pretty much physical. So my advise: rub one out before you go see her cuz it looks like your gonna spill the beans way too soon.

Is that you woogie wooganowski??

 

[JoeKing]

Listen to Bob... dude is obviously a stud.

 

[chagus]

Is that you woogie wooganowski??

Haaa! Its your post, man. You dont like the responses dont post a question.

 

[chagus]

Borderline...the worst response of all..because there is no such thing as a borderline "smashbuddy"if you read the op i said we never got that close until i reunited with her this last time which is why i was asking for advice because it didnt feel the same as before. I was a little immature the way i expressed my intentions on the Op because it dosent relay the way i actually feel towards this girl i genuinely care for her its not only sexual we have both been there for eachother when needed for lots of different reasons relationship problems, family problems..exct. WV the only fact i can get out of all your responses is you are completely delusional on what you think you know...and assume you know everything...not everyone is the same. In a short sentance you could have said..." I advise you to think about your kids first and as for the girl just make sure her intentions with you are coming from the rite place for your kids sake." without all the assumptions...i appreciate everything though, all of the advice..and i agree with joeyboy this thread is getting out of control..we should lock it or just maybe delete it if possible. I also thank everyone who spoke up for me and worded it more nicely then i ever could have

I could have said? So you're looking for certain responses and dissing the ones you dont agree with? lame. Anyways... back to football and someone please kill this lame thread.

 

[blumayne38]

I could have said? So you're looking for certain responses and dissing the ones you dont agree with? lame. Anyways... back to football and someone please kill this lame thread.

Thanks buddy for your advice, it was really helpful, i mean anyone who dosent rub one out b4 a date is obviously not doing things right...i think you were more just trying to be a clown then answer my question..but really thanks for taking the time to post on this lame thread

 

[WoodysGirl]

Locking by request..