Mr Cowboy
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By Mike Florio - SportingNews
Apr 7, 9:56 pm EDT
As we have now evolved from continuously wondering whether Brett Favre will retire to continuously wondering whether he will stay retired, allow me to say this: He should stay retired. If he can’t make up his mind as to whether he wants to play football, then he should yield his roster spot to someone else. There’s no angsting in football.
While I’m on the topic of players who should stay retired (or who are retired and who should shut up, like Mercury Morris), let’s take a look at 10 current players who should retire. (Shutting up would be optional, but nevertheless appreciated.)
1. Jason Taylor, DE, Miami Dolphins: By skipping a big chunk of the offseason workout program so he could cut a rug in a dancing competition aimed at reviving the careers of has beens or kick-starting the show business runs of wannabes, Taylor is making it known that his passion for football has waned. Unless, of course, he can’t parlay his twice-per-week exposure on national television into something that pays better. He still has the physical tools to play in the NFL, but football isn’t really a priority for him anymore. If it were, he’d save the Fred Astaire routine for later.
2. Zach Thomas, ILB, Dallas Cowboys: I’m not a neurologist (and have not played one on television or stayed in a Holiday Inn Express last night, or ever). The fact that being in a fender-bender caused Thomas to develop post-concussion syndrome tells me he has had his brain box busted a few times too many. Maybe he should be the one Dancing with the Stars—it’s a better outcome than regularly seeing them. (New Orleans Saints middle linebacker Dan Morgan and St. Louis Rams quarterback Trent Green fall into this category as well, but without the fender-bender. It would have been easy to make them No. 3 and No. 4 on the list with “See Zach Thomas” as the explanation, but I get paid by the word. Yes. I do. By the word. Punctuation. Too.)
3. Michael Strahan, DE, New York Giants: Last year, Strahan wanted more money. When he didn’t get it, he stayed away from training camp as he “contemplated retirement,” which most folks interpreted to mean, “hoped for more money or a trade to a contender.” The irony is he ended up playing for a legitimate contender and landing an unlikely Super Bowl trophy. Strahan’s best move would be to get out while he’s still reasonably healthy and parlay that title into a media career that would instantly eclipse the well-engineered (but poorly executed) post-football endeavors of former teammate/nemesis Tiki Barber.
4. Brad Johnson, QB, Dallas Cowboys: With Vinny Testaverde finally packing it in, Johnson now is the official over-the-hill quarterback with the arm strength of a Tyrannosaurus. Johnson was dreadful in his final season as a starter with the Minnesota Vikings; if Tony Romo ever gets hurt, the team facing the Cowboys can confidently replace its safeties with nose tackles.
5. Byron Leftwich, QB, free agent: I actually feel bad for Leftwich. After four NFL seasons, Leftwich was abruptly dumped by the Jacksonville Jaguars in favor of a career backup who now has pocketed a big-money contract. Leftwich, meanwhile, was deemed to be not good enough for the quarterback-starved Atlanta Falcons and still is waiting for the phone to ring. He should exercise what little remaining control he has over his life by ripping the phone out of the wall. Permanently.
6. Jonathan Ogden, OT, Ravens: Ogden is another guy who should quit talking about retirement and just do it. For the future Hall of Famer, however, it’s not about whether he loves the game. It’s about whether he can continue to use a constantly injured toe to push off his 345-pound frame. (Then again, it’s likely the toe is constantly injured from all those years of doing just that.)
7. Orlando Pace, OT, Rams: Although the first overall pick in the 1997 draft hasn’t mused about calling it quits, he should. As the cornerstone of St. Louis’ offensive line, Pace has been too injured far too often. The Rams can no longer rely on him, and Pace can no longer rely on his body. The team might give him a nudge in a few weeks by drafting Michigan’s Jake Long. If Pace doesn’t take the hint, the smarter move might be to move him to right tackle and treat any game in which he’s actually able to play like a $20 bill found in an old pair of stone-washed jeans.
8. Chad Johnson, WR, Bengals: In a misguided effort to get out of town, the Bengals’ No. 1 wideout has been threatening to retire. Coach Marvin Lewis has called his bluff. Johnson should call Marvin’s bluff and pack it in. Not because it’s in Johnson’s best long-term interests to do so, but because the football-following world is sick of listening to his routine. The only problem is someone would likely hire Johnson to talk about football on television. So maybe it’s better if he doesn’t retire. Ever.
9. Troy Brown, WR, free agent: Brown is a legend in New England, but the Patriots aren’t interested in bringing him back for another year. Arguably, however, Brown has been on scholarship for several seasons; he has started only 12 games in four years. Last month, Brown visited the Jets. Sure, he’s free to go where he wants, but why taint his legacy in Boston to spend another season riding the pine? He has as much of a claim to the launch of the Pats’ dynasty as does Tom Brady or Adam Vinatieri. If Brown finishes his career in another helmet, the memory of Pats fans regarding this specific point could fade a bit.
10. Matt Jones, WR, Jaguars: Three years ago, Jones created a huge buzz in the days leading up to the draft. Chris Mortensen of ESPN sang Jones’ praises, predicting he’d qualify for more Pro Bowls than pretty much any of the rest of the skill-position players taken in Round 1. But in his third year—the one in which receivers are supposed to break out—Jones had a career low in catches (24) and yards (317). Although he still has the physical tools to remain in the NFL for several more years, the reality is that Jones, by all appearances, doesn’t care. And if he doesn’t care, he should quit. There are too many guys with less natural ability, but loads more desire and heart. Mike Florio writes and edits ProFootballTalk.com and is a frequent contributor to Sporting News.
Apr 7, 9:56 pm EDT
As we have now evolved from continuously wondering whether Brett Favre will retire to continuously wondering whether he will stay retired, allow me to say this: He should stay retired. If he can’t make up his mind as to whether he wants to play football, then he should yield his roster spot to someone else. There’s no angsting in football.
While I’m on the topic of players who should stay retired (or who are retired and who should shut up, like Mercury Morris), let’s take a look at 10 current players who should retire. (Shutting up would be optional, but nevertheless appreciated.)
1. Jason Taylor, DE, Miami Dolphins: By skipping a big chunk of the offseason workout program so he could cut a rug in a dancing competition aimed at reviving the careers of has beens or kick-starting the show business runs of wannabes, Taylor is making it known that his passion for football has waned. Unless, of course, he can’t parlay his twice-per-week exposure on national television into something that pays better. He still has the physical tools to play in the NFL, but football isn’t really a priority for him anymore. If it were, he’d save the Fred Astaire routine for later.
2. Zach Thomas, ILB, Dallas Cowboys: I’m not a neurologist (and have not played one on television or stayed in a Holiday Inn Express last night, or ever). The fact that being in a fender-bender caused Thomas to develop post-concussion syndrome tells me he has had his brain box busted a few times too many. Maybe he should be the one Dancing with the Stars—it’s a better outcome than regularly seeing them. (New Orleans Saints middle linebacker Dan Morgan and St. Louis Rams quarterback Trent Green fall into this category as well, but without the fender-bender. It would have been easy to make them No. 3 and No. 4 on the list with “See Zach Thomas” as the explanation, but I get paid by the word. Yes. I do. By the word. Punctuation. Too.)
3. Michael Strahan, DE, New York Giants: Last year, Strahan wanted more money. When he didn’t get it, he stayed away from training camp as he “contemplated retirement,” which most folks interpreted to mean, “hoped for more money or a trade to a contender.” The irony is he ended up playing for a legitimate contender and landing an unlikely Super Bowl trophy. Strahan’s best move would be to get out while he’s still reasonably healthy and parlay that title into a media career that would instantly eclipse the well-engineered (but poorly executed) post-football endeavors of former teammate/nemesis Tiki Barber.
4. Brad Johnson, QB, Dallas Cowboys: With Vinny Testaverde finally packing it in, Johnson now is the official over-the-hill quarterback with the arm strength of a Tyrannosaurus. Johnson was dreadful in his final season as a starter with the Minnesota Vikings; if Tony Romo ever gets hurt, the team facing the Cowboys can confidently replace its safeties with nose tackles.
5. Byron Leftwich, QB, free agent: I actually feel bad for Leftwich. After four NFL seasons, Leftwich was abruptly dumped by the Jacksonville Jaguars in favor of a career backup who now has pocketed a big-money contract. Leftwich, meanwhile, was deemed to be not good enough for the quarterback-starved Atlanta Falcons and still is waiting for the phone to ring. He should exercise what little remaining control he has over his life by ripping the phone out of the wall. Permanently.
6. Jonathan Ogden, OT, Ravens: Ogden is another guy who should quit talking about retirement and just do it. For the future Hall of Famer, however, it’s not about whether he loves the game. It’s about whether he can continue to use a constantly injured toe to push off his 345-pound frame. (Then again, it’s likely the toe is constantly injured from all those years of doing just that.)
7. Orlando Pace, OT, Rams: Although the first overall pick in the 1997 draft hasn’t mused about calling it quits, he should. As the cornerstone of St. Louis’ offensive line, Pace has been too injured far too often. The Rams can no longer rely on him, and Pace can no longer rely on his body. The team might give him a nudge in a few weeks by drafting Michigan’s Jake Long. If Pace doesn’t take the hint, the smarter move might be to move him to right tackle and treat any game in which he’s actually able to play like a $20 bill found in an old pair of stone-washed jeans.
8. Chad Johnson, WR, Bengals: In a misguided effort to get out of town, the Bengals’ No. 1 wideout has been threatening to retire. Coach Marvin Lewis has called his bluff. Johnson should call Marvin’s bluff and pack it in. Not because it’s in Johnson’s best long-term interests to do so, but because the football-following world is sick of listening to his routine. The only problem is someone would likely hire Johnson to talk about football on television. So maybe it’s better if he doesn’t retire. Ever.
9. Troy Brown, WR, free agent: Brown is a legend in New England, but the Patriots aren’t interested in bringing him back for another year. Arguably, however, Brown has been on scholarship for several seasons; he has started only 12 games in four years. Last month, Brown visited the Jets. Sure, he’s free to go where he wants, but why taint his legacy in Boston to spend another season riding the pine? He has as much of a claim to the launch of the Pats’ dynasty as does Tom Brady or Adam Vinatieri. If Brown finishes his career in another helmet, the memory of Pats fans regarding this specific point could fade a bit.
10. Matt Jones, WR, Jaguars: Three years ago, Jones created a huge buzz in the days leading up to the draft. Chris Mortensen of ESPN sang Jones’ praises, predicting he’d qualify for more Pro Bowls than pretty much any of the rest of the skill-position players taken in Round 1. But in his third year—the one in which receivers are supposed to break out—Jones had a career low in catches (24) and yards (317). Although he still has the physical tools to remain in the NFL for several more years, the reality is that Jones, by all appearances, doesn’t care. And if he doesn’t care, he should quit. There are too many guys with less natural ability, but loads more desire and heart. Mike Florio writes and edits ProFootballTalk.com and is a frequent contributor to Sporting News.
