Aggie Humor

[Dallas]

A driver pulled into a gas station run by an Aggie and asked the owner
if his blinkers were working. The Aggie bent down an looked, then said,
"Yes...no...yes...no...yes...no...."



An Aggie married a Greek woman, and soon they had a baby boy. It's Greek
tradition to give the child a name that reflects the heritage of both parents, so they named him Zorba, the Dumb *** .


Then there was the Aggie who guzzled so many slurpees he snowed in his
pants.


An Aggie went to a lumberyard and asked for some 2x4's. "How long do you want them," asked the clerk. "Really long," said the Aggie. "We're
building a house."

 

[Roughneck]

Did you hear about the aggie who broke his leg on the golf course?

He fell off the ball-washing machine.

 

[The30YardSlant]

What do Longhorns call Aggies after graduation?

Boss




A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Horn fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Horn fans too.

Not knowing what a Hornfan is, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air. There is, however, one exception. A little boy named Johnny has not gone along with the crowd.

The teacher asks him why he has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Horn fan" he retorts.

"Then," asks the teacher, "What are you?"

"I'm a proud Aggie fan!" boasts the little boy.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Johnny why he is a Aggie fan.

Well, my Dad and Mom are Aggie fans, so I'm a Aggie fan too, he responds.

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot. What would you be then?"

Johnny smiles and says, "Then I'd be a Horn fan."

 

[Roughneck]

How many Aggies does it take to eat an armadillo?

Three. One to do the eating, and two to watch for cars.

 

[The30YardSlant]

An Englishman, a Frenchman, an Aggie, and a Longhorn were in a plane that was in a nose dive because it weighed too much. Seeing no alternative, the Englishman steps to the door and cries, "This is for England" and jumps out of the plane to his death. Not to be outdone, the Frenchman steps to the door and says, "This is for France" and jumps out of the plane to his death. Finally, the Aggie takes the t-sip by the shoulders, steps to the door and cries out, "This is for Texas" and pushes the Longhorn out of the plane.

 

[Roughneck]

An Aggie decides to raise chickens. So, he goes to the feed store and buys some chicks. He takes the chicks home, and plants them with their heads sticking up. He waters them, but they die.

He goes back to the feed store and tells the proprietor that he bought defective chicks, and gets another set. This time he plants them with their heads sticking down. He waters them, but they die.

He then sends a letter to his Alma Mater, describing the problem. They send a letter back asking for a soil sample.

 

[The30YardSlant]

There's an Aggie, a Longhorn, and a Baylor Bear that all just broke out of jail. They went to hide out in an old animal warehouse. The Aggie and Bear each hid in a box and the Longhorn hid in a bag. The police walked in and knocked on the Aggie box. With plenty of experience working with livestock, the Aggie replied, "Moo!" The police said, "Oh, it's just a cow." After knocking on the Bear's box, the Bear instinctively replied, "Grrrroooowwwwlllll!" The police said, "Oh, it's just a bear!" the police shook the t-sip's bag and the t-sip said, "Potatoes!"



Have you heard about the t-sip who was 2 hours late to class? The escalator was stuck...



Did you hear that they can't have any more parties at t.u.? They guy who knew the recipe for ice graduated!



What is the difference between a t-sip and a carp?

One is a bottom feeding scum sucker and the other is a fish.



Q: What the difference between a Longhorn and Rice Crispies?

A: Rice Crispies know what to do in a bowl.

 

[Roughneck]

An aggie walks into a barber shop one day wearing headphones. When he asked for a haircut, the barber said "You gotta take off the headphones." The aggie says "Just cut around them." The aggie leaves that day and comes back again the next week with the headphones still on. The barber says "You need to take off the headphones." But again, the aggie just says "Cut around them." The aggie leaves after he gets a haircut. The next week the aggie comes in with the headphones still on. Infuriated, the barber yanks off the headphones and throws them in the corner. In a couple minutes the aggie falls down and dies. Curious, the barber went over to the headphones and put them on. What he heard was "Breath in....Breath out. Breath in....Breath out..."

 

[Dallas]

An aggie walks into a barber shop one day wearing headphones. When he asked for a haircut, the barber said "You gotta take off the headphones." The aggie says "Just cut around them." The aggie leaves that day and comes back again the next week with the headphones still on. The barber says "You need to take off the headphones." But again, the aggie just says "Cut around them." The aggie leaves after he gets a haircut. The next week the aggie comes in with the headphones still on. Infuriated, the barber yanks off the headphones and throws them in the corner. In a couple minutes the aggie falls down and dies. Curious, the barber went over to the headphones and put them on. What he heard was "Breath in....Breath out. Breath in....Breath out..."

LOL.....that one was GOOD !!

 

[DallasCowpoke111]

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Horn fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Horn fans too.

Not knowing what a Hornfan is, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air. There is, however, one exception. A little boy named Johnny has not gone along with the crowd.

"I'm a proud Aggie fan!" boasts the little boy.

Umm, you forgot the part about "Lil Johnny" being fifteen!!

 

[Hostile]

I like this thread. I hope ya'll keep it going for a long time.

 

[Roughneck]

I like this thread. I hope ya'll keep it going for a long time.

Oh, Hos gave the okay.

How do you keep an aggie from masturbating?

Paint his dick Burnt Orange and he won't beat it for 4 years.

 

[Hostile]

Oh, Hos gave the okay.

How do you keep an aggie from masturbating?

Paint his dick Burnt Orange and he won't beat it for 4 years.

ROTFlmao

I can't breathe.

 

[jimmy40]

A driver pulled into a gas station run by an Aggie and asked the owner
if his blinkers were working. The Aggie bent down an looked, then said,
"Yes...no...yes...no...yes...no...."



An Aggie married a Greek woman, and soon they had a baby boy. It's Greek
tradition to give the child a name that reflects the heritage of both parents, so they named him Zorba, the Dumb *** .


Then there was the Aggie who guzzled so many slurpees he snowed in his
pants.


An Aggie went to a lumberyard and asked for some 2x4's. "How long do you want them," asked the clerk. "Really long," said the Aggie. "We're
building a house."

Four aggies were riding in the back of a pickup ,the pickup runs into a lake and the four aggies drown trying to get the tailgate down.