Amber Heard's Christmas Present to me

Reverend Conehead

Reverend Conehead

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OMG, Amber Heard had delivered to my door a DVD of her in the nude singing "All I want for Christmas is you," plus several scantily clad and naked photos of her, and a big bouquet of red roses.

First she was out to get me, now all of a sudden she's being super nice. That's even scarier. No one knows what this evil woman is capable of. I'll politely rebuff her advances, of course, but how do I do that without making her go all Fatal Attraction on me?

I hope you guys are all having a merry Christmas. I'm having a terrifying one. I haven't been this scared since Gisele Bündchen was hitting on me. She was ready to leave Tom Brady for me, but I couldn't let her. Brady has the means to hire a top-dollar hitman to come after me. It wasn't easy, but after much debate, I convinced her that she was better off with him than with me.

But Amber is way crazier than Gisele, so I don't know what I'm going to do. I thought of ex-scaping back in time somewheres, but she's developed a technology to track wherever in time I travel to. I'm so scared. I don't know what I'm going to do.
 
Oz-of-Cowboy-Country

Oz-of-Cowboy-Country

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Reverend Conehead said:
OMG, Amber Heard had delivered to my door a DVD of her in the nude singing "All I want for Christmas is you," plus several scantily clad and naked photos of her, and a big bouquet of red roses.

First she was out to get me, now all of a sudden she's being super nice. That's even scarier. No one knows what this evil woman is capable of. I'll politely rebuff her advances, of course, but how do I do that without making her go all Fatal Attraction on me?

I hope you guys are all having a merry Christmas. I'm having a terrifying one. I haven't been this scared since Gisele Bündchen was hitting on me. She was ready to leave Tom Brady for me, but I couldn't let her. Brady has the means to hire a top-dollar hitman to come after me. It wasn't easy, but after much debate, I convinced her that she was better off with him than with me.

But Amber is way crazier than Gisele, so I don't know what I'm going to do. I thought of ex-scaping back in time somewheres, but she's developed a technology to track wherever in time I travel to. I'm so scared. I don't know what I'm going to do.
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Fake your own death. But send me that footage first.
 
Runwildboys

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darthseinfeld said:
What do you think about it so far?
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Still not overly impressed. In the book, didn't they get out of Manhattan through the Lincoln Tunnel, rather than the GWB? That was much creepier. I don't know why they changed it. There are probably several things they changed (besides all the timeline jumping) but it's been about 20 years or so since I read it.
 
Crazed Liotta Eyes

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Runwildboys said:
Still not overly impressed. In the book, didn't they get out of Manhattan through the Lincoln Tunnel, rather than the GWB? That was much creepier. I don't know why they changed it. There are probably several things they changed (besides all the timeline jumping) but it's been about 20 years or so since I read it.
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I need to read the book or books? I seem to enjoy end of time stuff for some reason.
 
darthseinfeld

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Runwildboys said:
Still not overly impressed. In the book, didn't they get out of Manhattan through the Lincoln Tunnel, rather than the GWB? That was much creepier. I don't know why they changed it. There are probably several things they changed (besides all the timeline jumping) but it's been about 20 years or so since I read it.
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Im not either, but Im stick it out. Im just hoping it is better than the 90's version
 
Runwildboys

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darthseinfeld said:
Im not either, but Im stick it out. Im just hoping it is better than the 90's version
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Some of the casting in the first one was better, but the acting and cinematography is better in this one, IMO. Oh yeah, I forgot they added cell phones, so clearly they decided to modernize it. Not sure how I feel about that.
 
Them

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Reverend Conehead said:
OMG, Amber Heard had delivered to my door a DVD of her in the nude singing "All I want for Christmas is you," plus several scantily clad and naked photos of her, and a big bouquet of red roses.

First she was out to get me, now all of a sudden she's being super nice. That's even scarier. No one knows what this evil woman is capable of. I'll politely rebuff her advances, of course, but how do I do that without making her go all Fatal Attraction on me?

I hope you guys are all having a merry Christmas. I'm having a terrifying one. I haven't been this scared since Gisele Bündchen was hitting on me. She was ready to leave Tom Brady for me, but I couldn't let her. Brady has the means to hire a top-dollar hitman to come after me. It wasn't easy, but after much debate, I convinced her that she was better off with him than with me.

But Amber is way crazier than Gisele, so I don't know what I'm going to do. I thought of ex-scaping back in time somewheres, but she's developed a technology to track wherever in time I travel to. I'm so scared. I don't know what I'm going to do.
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................................
..Ppppfffttt! We all have our problems!...lol
 
nobody

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Reverend Conehead said:
OMG, Amber Heard had delivered to my door a DVD of her in the nude singing "All I want for Christmas is you," plus several scantily clad and naked photos of her, and a big bouquet of red roses.

First she was out to get me, now all of a sudden she's being super nice. That's even scarier. No one knows what this evil woman is capable of. I'll politely rebuff her advances, of course, but how do I do that without making her go all Fatal Attraction on me?

I hope you guys are all having a merry Christmas. I'm having a terrifying one. I haven't been this scared since Gisele Bündchen was hitting on me. She was ready to leave Tom Brady for me, but I couldn't let her. Brady has the means to hire a top-dollar hitman to come after me. It wasn't easy, but after much debate, I convinced her that she was better off with him than with me.

But Amber is way crazier than Gisele, so I don't know what I'm going to do. I thought of ex-scaping back in time somewheres, but she's developed a technology to track wherever in time I travel to. I'm so scared. I don't know what I'm going to do.
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She recently contacted me trying to hire me to assassinate your resistance to her "feminine charms" as she put it after your most recent rebuff. I told her that wasn't possible and she stormed off shouting that she would find someone to assassinate your resistance.
 
Reverend Conehead

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DeathMonkey said:
She recently contacted me trying to hire me to assassinate your resistance to her "feminine charms" as she put it after your most recent rebuff. I told her that wasn't possible and she stormed off shouting that she would find someone to assassinate your resistance.
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Forget time travel. I'm hiding out in a mirror universe. It's a weird one where short, pimply red-headed dudes who play a lot of video games get all the girls. I don't think she'll think to look for me here.
 
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