Amber Heard's Christmas Present to me

Reverend Conehead

Reverend Conehead

Well-Known Member
Messages
10,022
Reaction score
11,943
OMG, Amber Heard had delivered to my door a DVD of her in the nude singing "All I want for Christmas is you," plus several scantily clad and naked photos of her, and a big bouquet of red roses.

First she was out to get me, now all of a sudden she's being super nice. That's even scarier. No one knows what this evil woman is capable of. I'll politely rebuff her advances, of course, but how do I do that without making her go all Fatal Attraction on me?

I hope you guys are all having a merry Christmas. I'm having a terrifying one. I haven't been this scared since Gisele Bündchen was hitting on me. She was ready to leave Tom Brady for me, but I couldn't let her. Brady has the means to hire a top-dollar hitman to come after me. It wasn't easy, but after much debate, I convinced her that she was better off with him than with me.

But Amber is way crazier than Gisele, so I don't know what I'm going to do. I thought of ex-scaping back in time somewheres, but she's developed a technology to track wherever in time I travel to. I'm so scared. I don't know what I'm going to do.
 
Reverend Conehead said:
OMG, Amber Heard had delivered to my door a DVD of her in the nude singing "All I want for Christmas is you," plus several scantily clad and naked photos of her, and a big bouquet of red roses.

First she was out to get me, now all of a sudden she's being super nice. That's even scarier. No one knows what this evil woman is capable of. I'll politely rebuff her advances, of course, but how do I do that without making her go all Fatal Attraction on me?

I hope you guys are all having a merry Christmas. I'm having a terrifying one. I haven't been this scared since Gisele Bündchen was hitting on me. She was ready to leave Tom Brady for me, but I couldn't let her. Brady has the means to hire a top-dollar hitman to come after me. It wasn't easy, but after much debate, I convinced her that she was better off with him than with me.

But Amber is way crazier than Gisele, so I don't know what I'm going to do. I thought of ex-scaping back in time somewheres, but she's developed a technology to track wherever in time I travel to. I'm so scared. I don't know what I'm going to do.
Click to expand...
Fake your own death. But send me that footage first.
 
darthseinfeld said:
What do you think about it so far?
Click to expand...
Still not overly impressed. In the book, didn't they get out of Manhattan through the Lincoln Tunnel, rather than the GWB? That was much creepier. I don't know why they changed it. There are probably several things they changed (besides all the timeline jumping) but it's been about 20 years or so since I read it.
 
Runwildboys said:
Still not overly impressed. In the book, didn't they get out of Manhattan through the Lincoln Tunnel, rather than the GWB? That was much creepier. I don't know why they changed it. There are probably several things they changed (besides all the timeline jumping) but it's been about 20 years or so since I read it.
Click to expand...
I need to read the book or books? I seem to enjoy end of time stuff for some reason.
 
Runwildboys said:
Still not overly impressed. In the book, didn't they get out of Manhattan through the Lincoln Tunnel, rather than the GWB? That was much creepier. I don't know why they changed it. There are probably several things they changed (besides all the timeline jumping) but it's been about 20 years or so since I read it.
Click to expand...
Im not either, but Im stick it out. Im just hoping it is better than the 90's version
 
darthseinfeld said:
Im not either, but Im stick it out. Im just hoping it is better than the 90's version
Click to expand...
Some of the casting in the first one was better, but the acting and cinematography is better in this one, IMO. Oh yeah, I forgot they added cell phones, so clearly they decided to modernize it. Not sure how I feel about that.
 
Reverend Conehead said:
OMG, Amber Heard had delivered to my door a DVD of her in the nude singing "All I want for Christmas is you," plus several scantily clad and naked photos of her, and a big bouquet of red roses.

First she was out to get me, now all of a sudden she's being super nice. That's even scarier. No one knows what this evil woman is capable of. I'll politely rebuff her advances, of course, but how do I do that without making her go all Fatal Attraction on me?

I hope you guys are all having a merry Christmas. I'm having a terrifying one. I haven't been this scared since Gisele Bündchen was hitting on me. She was ready to leave Tom Brady for me, but I couldn't let her. Brady has the means to hire a top-dollar hitman to come after me. It wasn't easy, but after much debate, I convinced her that she was better off with him than with me.

But Amber is way crazier than Gisele, so I don't know what I'm going to do. I thought of ex-scaping back in time somewheres, but she's developed a technology to track wherever in time I travel to. I'm so scared. I don't know what I'm going to do.
Click to expand...
................................
..Ppppfffttt! We all have our problems!...lol
 
Reverend Conehead said:
OMG, Amber Heard had delivered to my door a DVD of her in the nude singing "All I want for Christmas is you," plus several scantily clad and naked photos of her, and a big bouquet of red roses.

First she was out to get me, now all of a sudden she's being super nice. That's even scarier. No one knows what this evil woman is capable of. I'll politely rebuff her advances, of course, but how do I do that without making her go all Fatal Attraction on me?

I hope you guys are all having a merry Christmas. I'm having a terrifying one. I haven't been this scared since Gisele Bündchen was hitting on me. She was ready to leave Tom Brady for me, but I couldn't let her. Brady has the means to hire a top-dollar hitman to come after me. It wasn't easy, but after much debate, I convinced her that she was better off with him than with me.

But Amber is way crazier than Gisele, so I don't know what I'm going to do. I thought of ex-scaping back in time somewheres, but she's developed a technology to track wherever in time I travel to. I'm so scared. I don't know what I'm going to do.
Click to expand...

She recently contacted me trying to hire me to assassinate your resistance to her "feminine charms" as she put it after your most recent rebuff. I told her that wasn't possible and she stormed off shouting that she would find someone to assassinate your resistance.
 
DeathMonkey said:
She recently contacted me trying to hire me to assassinate your resistance to her "feminine charms" as she put it after your most recent rebuff. I told her that wasn't possible and she stormed off shouting that she would find someone to assassinate your resistance.
Click to expand...

Forget time travel. I'm hiding out in a mirror universe. It's a weird one where short, pimply red-headed dudes who play a lot of video games get all the girls. I don't think she'll think to look for me here.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Staff online

Members online

... and 85 more.
Total: 1,038 (members: 185, guests: 853)

Latest posts

Forum statistics

Threads
465,452
Messages
13,875,692
Members
23,791
Latest member
mashburn
Back
Top