Bad Joke/Pun Thread

[FuzzyLumpkins]

I'll start with a tweet from Fozzy Bear. Yes I follow Fozzy just like I like the Powerpuff Girls. Deal with it.

 

[YosemiteSam]

Are you sure you know what pun means?

@FuzzyLumpkins that isn't directed at you

 

[Reality]

Are you sure you know what pun means?

@FuzzyLumpkins that isn't directed at you

Don't make him pull out the dictionary screenshot ... because he will ..

 

[FuzzyLumpkins]

Don't make him pull out the dictionary screenshot ... because he will ..

This guy. Everyone knows it's better to show than tell.

 

[Melonfeud]

I'll start with a tweet from Fozzy Bear. Yes I follow Fozzy just like I like the Powerpuff Girls. Deal with it.

I don't "get-it" unless it's told at a native American earring display counter,,,,




*pun has been employed

 

[BigStar]

 

[Melonfeud]

I'll start with a tweet from Fozzy Bear. Yes I follow Fozzy just like I like the Powerpuff Girls. Deal with it.

I don't "get-it" unless it's told at a railroad workers union meeting,,,



* pun employment #2

 

[SlammedZero]

What did the dog say when he wiped his *** with a pine cone?


RUFF!!

 

[Ranched]

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

 

[Ranched]

I once got into so much debt that I couldn't even afford my electricity bills, they were the darkest times of my life.

 

[Silver Surfer]

True story of a rare double pun "Dad Joke" that slipped out:

I was standing in the checkout line at a tool store and a lady in front of me had two replacement wheels for a hand truck in her basket.

We waited for a few minutes and then, at the last minute, she decided to leave the line to look for something else.

As she was walking away from me, I blurted out, "What's the matter? Are you too (two) tired?" I smiled knowing my dad would be proud.

 

[JohnnyTheFox]

Confucius say....
Man who go to bed with sex problem on mind wake up with solution on hand.

 

[Melonfeud]

True story of a rare double pun "Dad Joke" that slipped out:

I was standing in the checkout line at a tool store and a lady in front of me had two replacement wheels for a hand truck in her basket.

We waited for a few minutes and then, at the last minute, she decided to leave the line to look for something else.

As she was walking away from me, I blurted out, "What's the matter? Are you too (two) tired?" I smiled knowing my dad would be proud.

(True story #42)
Now, I'm about the least racist individual out there still sucking air, but I was around pre- pube years old & we were 'on vacation' at I think six flags over mid -America with that Disney movie 'the black hole' pre release banners hung up every where at this line we were standing in with a darker tanned handsome couple & the lady had a big ol' butt of a back bumper,,, well,,,I was about eye level with it there standing in line,,, that I'd yanked on my dad's pinky finger for his attention and pointed to them " black hole" movie banners And then pointed to this big ol' butt I was standing parked behind in line,,,,,,,MAN ALIVE! the gut ripping GUFFAW my father let rip drew damn ner' pin dropping silence,,, from that teeming throng,,,,pretty sure that learned him not to want to run or contend with me later on in life,,,


* my father was deeply opinionated, most notably when it came to anything TEXAS.

 

[Cowpolk]

 

[Cowpolk]

 

[Cowpolk]

https://encrypted-tbn0.***NOT-ALLOWED***/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRbbRwSvldURxi7srGWCOfM4EAnimNRcrIB5mhVN5UJcONJHWJ9cw

 

[Melonfeud]

LoL,,,I had a best bro ,back when, who owned an apple orchard,,,we were damn ner' blind drunk on most occasions,,, although the wittyness in yer' post is not beyond my grasp,,,, that mere mention of an "apple store" unleashed a flood of "whew"
* man ! We shot the power plant river dam on a new years day morning in a canoe one year,,,SHEESE good thing that river flow was rolling Levy bank high or we'd would have been dead back then,,,their was 2 foot of snow on the ground & I remember seeing river otters floating on their backs

 

[Cowpolk]

 

[Melonfeud]

https://encrypted-tbn0.***NOT-ALLOWED***/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRbbRwSvldURxi7srGWCOfM4EAnimNRcrIB5mhVN5UJcONJHWJ9cw

Oh-ya!!!

 

[CouchCoach]

Y'all remember Tom Swifty's? They were sort of a play on words but actually involved using words that don't belong but work any way. My favorite was "Tom said lettuce go crisply".

And Rich Hall's Sniglets were really creative and very useful. To this day, I still use the term "Cheetl" when I need to either wash or, preferably, lick the Cheetos covering off my fingers.

And my dogs both do "hound wounding" to the extreme. I've counted 22 "wounds" from one of them before they actually decided to lay down.