Buehler for rookie of the year?

[silverbear]

The Buehler doesn't win Rookie of the Year.

Rookie of the Year wins a Buehler.

Actually, I don't think that would work, Mike; nobody would WANT to be Rookie of the Year if the prize was Buehler...

Think about it-- you win a Buehler, you take it home with you, keep it all shiny and well-fed... then you bring home a girl, she gets a look at Buehler, and do you think she'd still be willing to sleep with YOU??

Or you invite your buddies over to watch the game, and they all wind up hangin' out with Buehler... you have a friendly poker game, Buehler wins every hand, until he wins everybody's money... then he gives it all back, and wins it back again...

All in a half an hour... shortest poker party ever...

But wait, there's more... Buehler saves a kitten stuck up in a tree (by kicking it over and catching the kitten as it falls off its branch), he rescues a baby from a burning building (by kicking in a wall), he comes across a school bus full of kids that has rolled over and turns the bus back on its wheels, thus saving about 50 kids... you know, the kind of stuff he does several times a day... then you have a house full of reporters, day after day after day, all wanting a piece of Das Buehler...

And you have to FEED them... or rather, you have to buy the food, at which point Buehler, being the ubermensch he is and a gourmet cook, prepares the food, and gets all the credit for feeding them...

Then it's discovered that Buehler is a cure for swine flu, and cancer; bacteria and viruses flee in terror from any body that gets within 20 feet of him... so the Catholic Church quickly ratifies a series of "miracles" that he causes, anoints him a saint (and Parcells holds a press conference to announce that in this case, it's OK to get out the anointing oil)... that brings even more attention, more reporters... next thing you know, the Vatican does away with the requirement that the Pope be Catholic, the current pope resigns, and Buehler is named Pope David the First (and Only)...

And the groupies, trying to get next to him at all hours of the day and night... knocking on your door, peering in your windows... or Chuck Norris, asking Buehler to protect him from the bullies...

No sir, I don't think winning a Buehler would be all you think it would... after the novelty wore off, it would probably be a living hell... even your dog would like Buehler better than he likes you...

If I was in the running for the Rookie of the Year award, and knew that was my fate, I'd break my own leg in game 10...