Chuck Norris

[blindzebra]

Anyone see the new Total Gym commercial?

He looks bad, he has lost a ton of weight, his voice sounds weak, his head is swimming in his toupee.

I'm thinking cancer.

 

[Yeagermeister]

Anyone see the new Total Gym commercial?

He looks bad, he has lost a ton of weight, his voice sounds weak, his head is swimming in his toupee.

I'm thinking cancer.

Chuck Norris doesn't get cancer......cancer gets Chuck Norris

 

[Rampage]

Chuck Norris doesn't get cancer......cancer gets Chuck Norris

chuck norris doesn't do push-ups he pushes the world down

 

[trickblue]

Chuck Norris doesn't teabag his enemies... he bowling-ball bags them...

 

[blindzebra]

You wouldn't be joking if you'd have seen the commercial.

He comes out looking bad saying he has 60 seconds to talk about the TG, looks at his watch and says that wasn't 60 seconds...they cut to clips from old commercials.

The contrast is shocking...he goes from an old guy buff 190 lbs to a shriveled, sick old man of 140 right before your eyes.

 

[Rampage]

everynight before the boogieman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for chuck norris

 

[Kevinicus]

Chuck put on weight a long time ago for that movie with Bruce Lee and has never been able to lose it. Maybe he finally succeeded.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

when Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he just holds up the phone and money falls out

btw, Chuck is 67 years old, that could explain it

 

[CF74]

everynight before the boogieman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for chuck norris

 

[Rack]

He's 67 years old.


I'm willing to be he looks better now then ANY of us here at cowboyszone will look when we're 67 (cbz, how did you look back when you were 67? ).


Hell, I probably won't even live that long, and at 47 I'm sure I'll look worse then he looks now.


And fathertime doesn't catch up to Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris gives a roundhouse kick to fathertime's chin.

 

[ABQCOWBOY]

Even at 67, Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just not his own.

 

[ABQCOWBOY]

Anyone see the new Total Gym commercial?

He looks bad, he has lost a ton of weight, his voice sounds weak, his head is swimming in his toupee.

I'm thinking cancer.

It's rumored that Chuck Norris' tears cure Cancer. It's also rumored that Chuck Norris has never cried.

 

[Concord]

You wouldn't be joking if you'd have seen the commercial.

He comes out looking bad saying he has 60 seconds to talk about the TG, looks at his watch and says that wasn't 60 seconds...they cut to clips from old commercials.

The contrast is shocking...he goes from an old guy buff 190 lbs to a shriveled, sick old man of 140 right before your eyes.

I know what you mean...I was thinking the same thing.

 

[Rampage]

those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occured during the making of that episode

 

[joseephuss]

He's 67 years old.


I'm willing to be he looks better now then ANY of us here at cowboyszone will look when we're 67 (cbz, how did you look back when you were 67? ).


Hell, I probably won't even live that long, and at 47 I'm sure I'll look worse then he looks now.


And fathertime doesn't catch up to Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris gives a roundhouse kick to fathertime's chin.

Raquel Welch is 67 and she does not look sick. Of course she no longer looks like she did in One Million Years B.C., either.

 

[Spectre]

Anyone see the new Total Gym commercial?

He looks bad, he has lost a ton of weight, his voice sounds weak, his head is swimming in his toupee.

I'm thinking cancer.

Im glad someone else noticed this.

I swear it's not even him.

It looks and sounds like they paid a look-a-like to stand in for him and do the commercial because the moustache and hair look fake and the voice/demeanor is completely different.

 

[zrinkill]

When Chuck finally dies we can say

Chuck Norris did not die ..... when Death came to get him, he killed Death and took his place.

 

[ABQCOWBOY]

Raquel Welch is 67 and she does not look sick. Of course she no longer looks like she did in One Million Years B.C., either.

Of course, not many in the history of the world could look like she did in One Million Years B.C.

 

[Faerluna]

When Chuck finally dies we can say

Chuck Norris did not die ..... when Death came to get him, he killed Death and took his place.

Just like in On A Pale Horse! (great book )