Cliches Gone Wrong

[Aikmaniac]

This probably needs to be filed under the "you-had-to-be-there" department but I thought I would share anyway.

See, my boss, much like several people I know, talks in cliches all day long. In fact, they can talk in nothing but cliches during an entire conversation.

The problem is that my boss completely destroys cliches. I have to give him a break since English is his second language, but it sure does make for some good entertainment.

Below are a couple examples of these cliches. Just imagine hearing these in the middle of a conference room full of executives and trying not to lose it. Feel free to add any screwed up cliches you have heard:

- "Chasing after the wrong rabbits"
- "Your eyes are like a deer's at midnight."
- "Splitting grass leaves."
- "Statically pleasing."
- "The road to hell is painted with good intentions."
- "So said the blind man who never saw."
- "Fall into death ears."
- "We are two ships in the night."
- "We'll cross that bridge when we find it."
- "This guy doesn't let grass grow between his toes."

 

[YosemiteSam]

:laugh2:

We had a guy that used to work here named Ron. We have a wiki page with what we refer to as "Ronisms"

Various quotes from Ron (cut and paste)

* SPONTANUITY
* Like they say in the whole world.
* Happy Rigmarole Day
* "I used to eat like a house."
* "Chestnuts open on a roasting fire..."
* "I'm going to ride that storm like there's no tomorrow."
* "4 - 10, Over and out"
* "He is the only one who could draw poison from a stone."
* "Catch ya on the rewind."
* "What is everyone doing out there? Treading tires?"
* "Are you looking for a dingie?"
* Date Weight (urbandictionary)
* "Born and brewed Liverpool fans"
* Lou, I would like to commend you a well job done today.
* I'm going to give you a can of whup***!
* Brad, your like a kid in a candy store that doesn't have any candy. Eat them apples!
* I have the H1B virus.