Convicted steroids dealer admits supplying Kurkjian, Clayton

WoodysGirl

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PLANO, TX — David Jacobs – a Plano man convicted of distributing steroids – told the Dallas Morning News late last month that he supplied steroids and masking agents to members of the Dallas Cowboys. Now, Jacobs is making claims against other famous names in the sports world.

In an SSNN exclusive interview, Jacobs claimed he supplied steroids and human growth hormones to ESPN employees John Clayton and Tim Kurkjian. Clayton is a Hall of Fame reporter who covers the National Football League, while Kurkjian follows Major League Baseball. Jacobs claims that both men approached him on separate occasions about the illegal substances.

“Clayton came to me first,” Jacobs told SSNN. “He said he was tired of getting trampled by [ESPN NFL analyst Sean] Salisbury in those on-camera debates. Plus, off-camera, he said Salisbury regularly took his lunch money and gave him swirlies. He wanted to bulk up so he could fight back.”

According to Jacobs, Clayton became a regular customer in 2006. “I sent him the best stuff. I used [ESPN reporter Ed] Werder as a mule.”

Werder typically spends the entire NFL season reporting on wide receiver Terrell Owens‘ every move, from in front of the Dallas Cowboys’ complex in Irving, Texas. Jacobs went on to say that although he supplied Clayton with the illegal substances, he has his doubts over whether the reporter actually took them.

“I mean, have you seen the guy? I only met him a few times, but I see him on TV everyday. He made absolutely no progress,” Jacobs said. “I kept asking him, ‘Are you taking them like I told you to?’ He kept saying he did, but look at him – he’s still a 150-pound weakling. And Salisbury still buries him. He’s probably afraid of needles or something.”

Jacobs tells a similar story about Kurkjian. “Kurk basically got tired of looking like a little boy. Plus, he’s got that little squeaky voice. So I loaded him up with testosterone.”

Like Clayton, the substances Jacobs supplied appeared to have little effect on Kurkjian. Perhaps bolstered by their still-unimpressive physical statures, both Kurkjian and Clayton vehemently denied the allegations through their lawyers – but Jacobs stands by his story.

“I know it sounds unlikely, based on the obvious physical evidence, but this really happened,” a plaintive Jacobs insisted. “What would I gain by making this up? It just makes me look bad. My stuff obviously failed these guys badly.”

Jacobs says the influence of professional athletes is to blame for reporters like Kurkjian and Clayton turning to illegal performance enhancers. “These are obviously nice little men who were negatively influenced by the hulking, manly athletes they cover and work with. Who wouldn’t feel like an insecure little wimp in an environment like that?”

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Vintage

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I hope this information gets released at some point. I really want to know which players were using steriods.....
 

PosterChild

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I suspected Clayton of this myself. No one is so naturally macho as he.

Watch espn sweep this under the rug. They hate the Cowboys.
 

QT

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I guess all the abuse John Clayton got from Sean Salisbury got to him. Macho Macho man.
 

BehindEnemyLinez

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Dub-G, you are too good at these faux reports! I'll wager that more than one person will fall for this...
 

Cajuncowboy

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BehindEnemyLinez;2092840 said:
Dub-G, you are too good at these faux reports! I'll wager that more than one person will fall for this...

Well, not now! :D
 

AdamJT13

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More headlines from that site --

"(Pacman) Jones confident plans to 'smoke myself ********' won’t affect reinstatement"

"Dolphins may hold dance contest to lure Taylor back"

"Belichick also misinterpreted the rules of marriage"

"Lucifer disgusted by Belichick’s soul, plans to sell it"

"At least two (Herschel) Walker personalities interested in comeback"

"(Woody) Paige fervently contesting Around the Horn record"


It's a better site than some of the other sports-oriented Onion ripoffs have been.
 

tunahelper

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I knew Clayton was looking water bloated in the face from some good Test.
 
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