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Dear Abby:
Q: My fiance, "John," wears women's underwear and hose. He likes it, and I realize it doesn't mean he's gay. That's not the problem.
His ex-wife, "Anita," insists on starting conversations with me about it, preferably within earshot of others. She asked, in front of their attorneys after a recent court hearing, if I "liked" the fact that John wears women's silk panties! (She owes child support and doesn't feel a need to pay it.)
I realize Anita is doing this to embarrass John and me, and I don't know what to do when she starts these "conversations." I've never met anyone so cynical, defensive, verbally abusive and in need of counseling. She's also an alcoholic in denial, but she doesn't have to be drunk to start these conversations.
I have tried ignoring her, but she'll stand there and talk to the back of my head, and the comments get increasingly personal and intrusive. How can I stop Anita in her tracks?
EMBARRASSED in Pennsylvania
Dear Embarrassed:
A: One way to stop her would be to turn around, look her in the eye and say, "Anita, I know you are bitter and angry, but the kind of underwear he chooses is up to him and is no longer your business. So knock it off." And then smile.
Q: My fiance, "John," wears women's underwear and hose. He likes it, and I realize it doesn't mean he's gay. That's not the problem.
His ex-wife, "Anita," insists on starting conversations with me about it, preferably within earshot of others. She asked, in front of their attorneys after a recent court hearing, if I "liked" the fact that John wears women's silk panties! (She owes child support and doesn't feel a need to pay it.)
I realize Anita is doing this to embarrass John and me, and I don't know what to do when she starts these "conversations." I've never met anyone so cynical, defensive, verbally abusive and in need of counseling. She's also an alcoholic in denial, but she doesn't have to be drunk to start these conversations.
I have tried ignoring her, but she'll stand there and talk to the back of my head, and the comments get increasingly personal and intrusive. How can I stop Anita in her tracks?
EMBARRASSED in Pennsylvania
Dear Embarrassed:
A: One way to stop her would be to turn around, look her in the eye and say, "Anita, I know you are bitter and angry, but the kind of underwear he chooses is up to him and is no longer your business. So knock it off." And then smile.
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