ESPN: Cowboys Fans Letting It All Hang Out

theogt

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Cowboys fans letting it all hang out

By Jeff Pearlman
Special to Page 2
(Archive | Contact)

Updated: September 19, 2007, 12:12 PM ETDALLAS

Like moths to a flame, the geeks file in … three, four, five at a time, some chanting "C-O-W-B-O-Y-S!" others talking loudly of the inevitability of a sixth Super Bowl title.

"This is the year!" shouts Brandon, a 33-year-old accountant. "We can't be stopped! Cowboys all the way!" "Whoooooooooo!" adds Mike, a plumber. "Cowboys in '07!"

On this night of NFL openers, similar scenes take place all over the city of Dallas. In sports bars, fans go crazy. In the Texas Stadium parking lot, patrons excitedly file out after their team's 45-35 victory over the Giants. But it is here, at the famed Men's Club of Dallas, where the instant elation over a strong start for America's Team can best be measured.

"If you come here and the Cowboys are on a roll," one dancer says, "you'll know it."

Indeed. When the Cowboys lose and the city is, well, blah over its football team, the Men's Club's dancers often find themselves strutting topless before bartenders, waitresses and far too many empty seats. But when hope fills the air and the Cowboys are the talk of the town, the Men's Club turns into a living, breathing, oozing ode to breasts, beers and football.

"As the Cowboys go, we go," says Apple, a 19-year-old dancer. "When they win and the fans are psyched, tips are higher, customers come more often … everything is great."

During the Cowboys' triumph over the Giants, everything is great. Fans roar with delight. Dollar bills are stuffed between artificial breasts with reckless abandon. All of the establishment's 20-something televisions are tuned to the big game, even as women strut to and fro, tempting men to give in to a $20 lap dance. "No better way to celebrate a Super Bowl," raves one man, "than with a little T and A!"

It is, in many ways, a flashback to the halcyon days of the 1990s, when the Cowboys of Michael Irvin ruled the league and the Cowboys of Michael Irvin ruled the Men's Club. Back then, the Dallas secondary was known to occasionally hold its weekly positional meeting at a Men's Club table; Barry Switzer, the team's coach from 1994 to '97, raved about the club on his radio program; a wide receiver was even banned from the club for having multiple sexual escapades with strippers in one of the phone booths (free tip from your good friends at ESPN.com: Bring a cell).

Perhaps the establishment's greatest fame came March 4, 1996, when a police officer knocked on the door of room 624 of the Residence Inn in Irving, Texas, and found Irvin, cocaine … and a former Men's Club dancer named Angela Beck.

Good pub, bad pub, it mattered not. The Cowboys were hot and, hence, so was the Men's Club. Now, after more than decade of mediocre play, fruitless drafts (Where art thou, Kavika Pittman?), mounting fan indifference and one too many Chad Hutchinson sightings, the Cowboys -- and, by association, the Cowboys' favorite strip club -- are back. On this night, the Men's Club goes so far as to charter a bus to carry fans from the establishment to the game and, come fourth quarter, back to the club for some more T and A.

"For us, the best thing is when the Cowboys win," Apple says. "That means they're willing to spend the dollars."

Will the Cowboys, indeed, win? With a 2-0 start, there's reason for optimism.

"I think we've turned the franchise around," says one fan who sports a Julius Jones jersey but won't reveal his name. "A lot of people got sick of Bill Parcells and his strict ways. But with Romo, TO, the young defense, I think we're on to something. At least I'm excited."

He sure is. Moments after finding a seat, the fan's face is smothered between a stripper's breasts. Nearby his pals grin wickedly. Are they thrilled their 24-year-old chum has finally touched a woman? Are they elated by the sight of the strategically placed blue-and-red tattoo above the dancer's rear end? Are they intrigued by the unlimited possibilities the Men's Club seems to afford?

Nope, nope and nope.

They are watching TV … and the Cowboys have scored yet again.

Jeff Pearlman is a former Sports Illustrated senior writer and the author of "Love Me, Hate Me: Barry Bonds and the Making of an Antihero," now available in paperback. You can reach him at anngold22@gmail.com.
 

chargrove

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Okay, so...the success or lack of it at strip bars in Dallas is determined by how well the Cowboys perform on the field?

Who is this idiot and why did he write this article? What is the point? Did he bet his buddies that he could get something published written from a topless bar?

And let's not forget to tie in Michael Irvin and the 90s Cowboys while we're at it.

Man...just, man. I hate this.
 

Big Dakota

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You take that to your editor and he says yes? :laugh2:

ESPN has lost it's damn mind:bang2:
 

firehawk350

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Man, I bet research for this article must have been painful! I couldn't imagine...
 

trickblue

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Nice hatchet job...

Cowboys are 2-0 so let's relate them to strip bars...

I think you could find the same behavior in every NFL town...
 

MCowboys

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You guys understand that the article is a joke right? It's on ESPN Page 2, which isn't real news.
 

Vintage

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This thread is worthless without pictures.


There needs to be an emoticon for that.
 

ZeroClub

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What a truly bizarre article.

trickblue;1656260 said:
Nice hatchet job...

Cowboys are 2-0 so let's relate them to strip bars...

I think you could find the same behavior in every NFL town...

No doubt.
 

Aikbach

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Tasteless and sad article. I'm glad I don't pay for cable now and my roommate has it inexplicably just the same, i won't hound him for stealing anymore.
 

Aikbach

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theogt;1656295 said:
Wow. I thought it was funny.
Of all the things he could've chosen to write about it was a bizarre if not depraved choice.
 

theebs

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waste of time.

Let the stereotyping begin.

This is the tip of the iceberg. Its only a matter of time before all the media deems the cowboys players coked up criminals.

Then once it hits espn, all the dopey people who think espn really are sports experts and have the final word will be running around with the usual nonsense.

If we win this week it will all be back. So everywhere cowboys fans go we can all go back to the three famous questions we all get constantly..

1. How long have you been a cowboys fan?
2. Were you a colts fan last year?
3. Do you live in a trailer where you and your sister are trying to raise your
Kids? Ever have sex with a goat? Dumb rednecks..
 

sacase

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Love the article. He got to get paid to do his research. :) Great piece of writing.
 

AsthmaField

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Huh... I thought it was just me who got a little frisky after a cowboys victory.

Who woulda' thunk it?

;)
 
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