ESPN: Fine line between loyalty and professionalism

WoodysGirl

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If there is one constant that binds two of the players currently caught in the crosshairs of NFL commissioner Roger Goodell -- that duo being Atlanta quarterback Michael Vick and Tennessee cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones -- it is the fact that their friends have figured so prominently in their off-the-field issues.


We keep hearing about the influence of their entourages or their posses, so much so that it raises a question that should be familiar to many pro athletes: How do you deal with your friends from the old neighborhood? Some would say that players such as Vick and Jones are better served by cutting ties and moving on. I'm going to argue a different point, however. They don't have to lose their friends. They have to handle them better.


Of course, we're not talking about just any NFL players. We're talking about those who come from the types of disadvantaged backgrounds that Vick and Jones know all too well. They're the ones who usually face the toughest decisions when it comes to dealing with their friends because it's often their friends who end up creating many of their problems.


In the case of Vick, who is dealing with allegations of his involvement in dog fighting, many people believe his friends have become enablers who make it easy for Vick to fall into the silly troubles that have plagued him recently. As for Jones -- who is appealing a one-year suspension for multiple run-ins with the law and has been among the subjects of a Las Vegas police investigation into a triple shooting -- even his own relatives have criticized the company he keeps.

It's hard to know exactly how many problems can be linked to these friendships, but it is fair to say that both men have to make significant changes within their inner circles. If not, they could find themselves sitting where Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis once was in 2000, when he faced a double-murder trial in Atlanta that also involved two of his former friends. They could end up losing a pal in the way Chicago Bears defensive tackle Tank Johnson lost his best friend, Willie B. Posey, who was shot and killed in December during a fight at a Chicago nightclub where Johnson also was present. Johnson, who is awaiting word of a probable suspension after serving a 60-day jail sentence, already has started changing his life, while Lewis is a classic example of how to transform an image from negative to positive.


What Jones and Vick have to accept is that maintaining the same environments they grew up in only creates more possibilities for bad habits to continue. And God knows these two have come from the roughest environments imaginable. Jones' mother spent three years in prison and his father was killed when Jones was only 5 years old. Vick grew up in one of the roughest areas of Newport News, Va., the child of teenaged parents. These guys didn't just live through their childhoods. They survived them. And ultimately, the friends they made were the ones who watched their backs and helped them cope.


Consequently, there's a strong sense of loyalty that factors into how they deal with their friends. Listen to what Cleveland Browns wide receiver Braylon Edwards says about Pacman Jones: "I know Pacman well enough to know that the friends he has now are probably the same people that helped raise him when he was growing up. They might not be the right people for him, but they were the ones who helped him get to this point in his career. What he has to understand now is that those same people have the power to define him. It's important for him to be aware of the situations those people can put him in, because ultimately he's taking the blame for whatever goes down."


The problem is that Jones is like a lot of athletes: He clearly has a hard time accepting that. It requires doing some difficult things, like calling out a friend, cutting him off financially or running the risk that those friends will see him as big-timing them. The reality, however, is that a lot of players in the NFL have had to do the same thing during their careers, and they've found a way to deal with those awkward moments. In fact, the NFL holds a seminar at its rookie symposium every year in which veteran players emphasize the importance of saying "no" to friends and family.

Says Kansas City head coach Herm Edwards: "It's tough for some young guys to accept that responsibility because you're talking about their boys from the 'hood. But the thing is that these guys are professionals now and that's part of being a professional. These guys have to meet a certain standard, and if somebody around them isn't helping them meet that standard, they have to address it."

Edwards says he's dealt with this issue during every season of his 18-year coaching career. He specifically mentions former Pro Bowl cornerback Dale Carter, whom Edwards coached as a Chiefs assistant from 1992-94, as a player who couldn't reel in his own friends. Carter ultimately bounced around the NFL -- while struggling with off-field troubles that included drug abuse -- but Edwards eventually ran into him again during the 2005 season. They met when Carter was a member of the Baltimore Ravens and Edwards was coaching the Jets, and Edwards literally could see the changes Carter had made. In fact, Carter admitted that Edwards was right about the need to control his friendships better.

The point of that story is that these things often can take more time than current NFL players have in a league in which Goodell has mandated the need for improved personal conduct. It already sounds like Jones will struggle to control his friends. As one person familiar with Jones says, "When he made the NFL, they all made the NFL." As for Vick, he is well past the point where he should be able to understand this lesson. Six years in the NFL is long enough to mature.

The question ultimately is whether they can accept that responsibility. It's one thing to be back in the neighborhood and running with kids who've got your back. It's another thing altogether when those same kids are living off your success and potentially jeopardizing it. The important thing to remember here is that whether it's Vick, Jones or some other athlete, the challenge isn't to find a way to find new friends. It's about these young men discovering the courage to take control of their lives.

Jeffri Chadiha is a senior writer for ESPN.com.

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onetrickpony

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Interesting article. I think it can be boiled down to the old saying "If you lie with dogs, you get up with fleas."

I think we are each responsible for our own actions, ultimately. Friends may influence us but I don't see too many people tied or hand cuffed and led into trouble.
 

THUMPER

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A very good article and a well written one from ESPN which is unusual.

I would take a harder stance personally and say that these guys need to cut ties with their old friends from the hood if they can't grow up. The athlete needs to understand that he is no longer the person he was nor is he his own person any longer. The millions of dollars teams are investing in him comes with a lot of responsibilities that most don't understand.

They have an image to upkeep and a professionalism to uphold on and off the field. The new commissioner is going to come down hard on players who don't get that teams invest an awful lot in them and demand certain things in return. If they don't get them then it will go hard for the player.

Vick would be well served to stay in his gated community and leave his childhood friends behind. They no longer have a life in common, no longer share the same problems or interests, or at least they shouldn't.

I grew up in SoCal and knew many guys who came out of the gangs there. It was tough but if you wanted to make a life for yourself then you had no choice but to cut ties completely. It was a difficult choice to make for them because their home boys had been their family for many years, but just like leaving a toxic family they had to leave the gang.

No one holds a guy to an athlete's head and forces him to sign a contract. He is free to make the choice not to live as a professional athlete and can choose instead to hang with his homies, but once he signs, he has an obligation to live up to the standards set by the team and the league.

The bottom line is that their friends don't see them as the same people they were and they are only fooling themselves if they think otherwise. In most cases their friends only hang with them now because they have money, there really isn't much in common between them anymore.
 

skinsscalper

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THUMPER;1508561 said:
A very good article and a well written one from ESPN which is unusual.

I would take a harder stance personally and say that these guys need to cut ties with their old friends from the hood if they can't grow up. The athlete needs to understand that he is no longer the person he was nor is he his own person any longer. The millions of dollars teams are investing in him comes with a lot of responsibilities that most don't understand.

They have an image to upkeep and a professionalism to uphold on and off the field. The new commissioner is going to come down hard on players who don't get that teams invest an awful lot in them and demand certain things in return. If they don't get them then it will go hard for the player.

Vick would be well served to stay in his gated community and leave his childhood friends behind. They no longer have a life in common, no longer share the same problems or interests, or at least they shouldn't.

I grew up in SoCal and knew many guys who came out of the gangs there. It was tough but if you wanted to make a life for yourself then you had no choice but to cut ties completely. It was a difficult choice to make for them because their home boys had been their family for many years, but just like leaving a toxic family they had to leave the gang.

No one holds a guy to an athlete's head and forces him to sign a contract. He is free to make the choice not to live as a professional athlete and can choose instead to hang with his homies, but once he signs, he has an obligation to live up to the standards set by the team and the league.

The bottom line is that their friends don't see them as the same people they were and they are only fooling themselves if they think otherwise. In most cases their friends only hang with them now because they have money, there really isn't much in common between them anymore.

Great point, THUMPER. I know people that have cut ties with old friends just for the sake of living a "normal" life that includes regular work, insurance benefits, a sober lifestyle and a 401K program. These people, too, were "raised" by their "boys". The sad part was that some people actually wanted to grow up, and the rest wanted to live irresponsible lives centered around illegal activities and an unproductive lifestyle. The people who wanted to get their acts together were treated as a traitors and "too good" for their old friends, now. In the end the people that cut ties with the influences in their lives that were "holding them back" are enjoying lives as mothers and fathers, PTA members, church parishoners, coaches, etc. They find a purpose in their lives beyond "the next party". The simplest things in life give some of these people the greatest pleasure because, for once, they find PURPOSE in their lives. They've found that there are more important things in life than, maybe, the life that they were raised in. It's a tough transition that takes alot of courage because, for alot of these people, it's the first time that they attempt life without the support of their "homies". Life is tough enough. It's even tougher when starting down the "right path" begins with cutting ties with your lifelong "support system".

But, if your average everyday Joe can do it for the sake of his new child and wife, then you would think that someone might be able to consider it for a measley multi-million dollar contract.

SS

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A real friend is someone who will always do what's best for the person they care about--even if it means letting go of his/her friend completely. A fake friend or a pretender is someone who will say that he/she is your friend, turn around, and do something (usually purposely) which harms you. Some of these pro athletes have 'friends' who are singing "Every Breath You Take" behind their backs and that's not a good thing.
 

THUMPER

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skinsscalper;1508650 said:
Great point, THUMPER. I know people that have cut ties with old friends just for the sake of living a "normal" life that includes regular work, insurance benefits, a sober lifestyle and a 401K program. These people, too, were "raised" by their "boys". The sad part was that some people actually wanted to grow up, and the rest wanted to live irresponsible lives centered around illegal activities and an unproductive lifestyle. The people who wanted to get their acts together were treated as a traitors and "too good" for their old friends, now. In the end the people that cut ties with the influences in their lives that were "holding them back" are enjoying lives as mothers and fathers, PTA members, church parishoners, coaches, etc. They find a purpose in their lives beyond "the next party". The simplest things in life give some of these people the greatest pleasure because, for once, they find PURPOSE in their lives. They've found that there are more important things in life than, maybe, the life that they were raised in. It's a tough transition that takes alot of courage because, for alot of these people, it's the first time that they attempt life without the support of their "homies". Life is tough enough. It's even tougher when starting down the "right path" begins with cutting ties with your lifelong "support system".

But, if your average everyday Joe can do it for the sake of his new child and wife, then you would think that someone might be able to consider it for a measley multi-million dollar contract.

SS

:star:

Very well put SS! :clap2: :starspin
 

WoodysGirl

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DallasEast;1508681 said:
A real friend is someone who will always do what's best for the person they care about--even if it means letting go of his/her friend completely. A fake friend or a pretender is someone who will say that he/she is your friend, turn around, and do something (usually purposely) which harms you. Some of these pro athletes have 'friends' who are singing "Every Breath You Take" behind their backs and that's not a good thing.
It's not about whether the friend is real or not. It's about a person growing up and putting old friends into their proper perspective. You can have friends who you truly care about, but as you outgrow them, you have to put them in a different box. You gotta put them in the box of longtime friend with different interests than you. And from there, you can catch up occasionally, but you don't hang with them and you don't halt your growth into new interests, just to hold onto old friends.

The problem is some of these guys haven't outgrown their friends. So they continue to run with them irregardless of the consequences. And now, it's beginning to catch up to them.
 

tunahelper

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WoodysGirl;1508300 said:
If there is one constant that binds two of the players currently caught in the crosshairs of NFL commissioner Roger Goodell -- that duo being Atlanta quarterback Michael Vick and Tennessee cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones -- it is the fact that their friends have figured so prominently in their off-the-field issues.


We keep hearing about the influence of their entourages or their posses, so much so that it raises a question that should be familiar to many pro athletes: How do you deal with your friends from the old neighborhood? Some would say that players such as Vick and Jones are better served by cutting ties and moving on. I'm going to argue a different point, however. They don't have to lose their friends. They have to handle them better.


Of course, we're not talking about just any NFL players. We're talking about those who come from the types of disadvantaged backgrounds that Vick and Jones know all too well. They're the ones who usually face the toughest decisions when it comes to dealing with their friends because it's often their friends who end up creating many of their problems.


In the case of Vick, who is dealing with allegations of his involvement in dog fighting, many people believe his friends have become enablers who make it easy for Vick to fall into the silly troubles that have plagued him recently. As for Jones -- who is appealing a one-year suspension for multiple run-ins with the law and has been among the subjects of a Las Vegas police investigation into a triple shooting -- even his own relatives have criticized the company he keeps.

It's hard to know exactly how many problems can be linked to these friendships, but it is fair to say that both men have to make significant changes within their inner circles. If not, they could find themselves sitting where Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis once was in 2000, when he faced a double-murder trial in Atlanta that also involved two of his former friends. They could end up losing a pal in the way Chicago Bears defensive tackle Tank Johnson lost his best friend, Willie B. Posey, who was shot and killed in December during a fight at a Chicago nightclub where Johnson also was present. Johnson, who is awaiting word of a probable suspension after serving a 60-day jail sentence, already has started changing his life, while Lewis is a classic example of how to transform an image from negative to positive.


What Jones and Vick have to accept is that maintaining the same environments they grew up in only creates more possibilities for bad habits to continue. And God knows these two have come from the roughest environments imaginable. Jones' mother spent three years in prison and his father was killed when Jones was only 5 years old. Vick grew up in one of the roughest areas of Newport News, Va., the child of teenaged parents. These guys didn't just live through their childhoods. They survived them. And ultimately, the friends they made were the ones who watched their backs and helped them cope.


Consequently, there's a strong sense of loyalty that factors into how they deal with their friends. Listen to what Cleveland Browns wide receiver Braylon Edwards says about Pacman Jones: "I know Pacman well enough to know that the friends he has now are probably the same people that helped raise him when he was growing up. They might not be the right people for him, but they were the ones who helped him get to this point in his career. What he has to understand now is that those same people have the power to define him. It's important for him to be aware of the situations those people can put him in, because ultimately he's taking the blame for whatever goes down."


The problem is that Jones is like a lot of athletes: He clearly has a hard time accepting that. It requires doing some difficult things, like calling out a friend, cutting him off financially or running the risk that those friends will see him as big-timing them. The reality, however, is that a lot of players in the NFL have had to do the same thing during their careers, and they've found a way to deal with those awkward moments. In fact, the NFL holds a seminar at its rookie symposium every year in which veteran players emphasize the importance of saying "no" to friends and family.

Says Kansas City head coach Herm Edwards: "It's tough for some young guys to accept that responsibility because you're talking about their boys from the 'hood. But the thing is that these guys are professionals now and that's part of being a professional. These guys have to meet a certain standard, and if somebody around them isn't helping them meet that standard, they have to address it."

Edwards says he's dealt with this issue during every season of his 18-year coaching career. He specifically mentions former Pro Bowl cornerback Dale Carter, whom Edwards coached as a Chiefs assistant from 1992-94, as a player who couldn't reel in his own friends. Carter ultimately bounced around the NFL -- while struggling with off-field troubles that included drug abuse -- but Edwards eventually ran into him again during the 2005 season. They met when Carter was a member of the Baltimore Ravens and Edwards was coaching the Jets, and Edwards literally could see the changes Carter had made. In fact, Carter admitted that Edwards was right about the need to control his friendships better.

The point of that story is that these things often can take more time than current NFL players have in a league in which Goodell has mandated the need for improved personal conduct. It already sounds like Jones will struggle to control his friends. As one person familiar with Jones says, "When he made the NFL, they all made the NFL." As for Vick, he is well past the point where he should be able to understand this lesson. Six years in the NFL is long enough to mature.

The question ultimately is whether they can accept that responsibility. It's one thing to be back in the neighborhood and running with kids who've got your back. It's another thing altogether when those same kids are living off your success and potentially jeopardizing it. The important thing to remember here is that whether it's Vick, Jones or some other athlete, the challenge isn't to find a way to find new friends. It's about these young men discovering the courage to take control of their lives.

Jeffri Chadiha is a senior writer for ESPN.com.

LINK

Same old B.S. from ESPN!
Maybe Vick & Jones are bad influences on their friends.
Many people grow up poor and dont commit crime or act like a thug?
Since both of these people are now rich, how long will it take for them to be converted to an advantaged lifestyle?
We hope the money will eventually turn them into productive citzens!
Some people are punks no matter if their rich or poor!
Weak spined reporting!
 

THUMPER

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WoodysGirl;1508878 said:
It's not about whether the friend is real or not. It's about a person growing up and putting old friends into their proper perspective. You can have friends who you truly care about, but as you outgrow them, you have to put them in a different box. You gotta put them in the box of longtime friend with different interests than you. And from there, you can catch up occasionally, but you don't hang with them and you don't halt your growth into new interests, just to hold onto old friends.

The problem is some of these guys haven't outgrown their friends. So they continue to run with them irregardless of the consequences. And now, it's beginning to catch up to them.

Irregardless? That's redundant. :rolleyes: It isn't actually a word at all but a combination of irrespective and regardless.

By blending these words, an illogical word is created. "Since the prefix ir- means 'not' (as it does with irrespective), and the suffix -less means 'without,' irregardless is a double negative.

Regardless would have sufficed.

Agree with your point though.

Speaking of redundant, there's no charge for the free English lesson. :)
 

Hostile

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Let's do the math here. Who is leading and who is following? If you are an NFL and you're the guy with all the bank the friends you have are going to follow YOU. If they say "let's get involved in dog fighting" without your financial backing they probably can't do it. All you have to say is "no" and they move on to the next adventure.

You don't have to be a Christian to respect the power of this quote from the Bible. "When I was a child I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man I put away childish things."

That is essentially what you have to do. You've got to freaking grow up. That means being a leader.

I guarantee you that if these players looked for positive outlets that they and their friends could be involved in they could still have fun. When they were kids they hopefully had fun no matter what they were doing. It was fun just being together and doing something. Throw a BBQ and invite a bunch of kids. Make your friends do the cooking and get them involved in water balloon fights with the kids. At the end of the day they'll be talking about what a good time it was and how you should do stuff like that more often.

The point is, they will follow you. You don't need to follow them.
 

WoodysGirl

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THUMPER;1509042 said:
Irregardless? That's redundant. :rolleyes: It isn't actually a word at all but a combination of irrespective and regardless.

By blending these words, an illogical word is created. "Since the prefix ir- means 'not' (as it does with irrespective), and the suffix -less means 'without,' irregardless is a double negative.

Regardless would have sufficed.

Agree with your point though.

Speaking of redundant, there's no charge for the free English lesson. :)
You were being funny, but next time you can keep the lesson to yourself. Next time I want a proofreader, I'll hire one. I find it very annoying when a point is lost, because someone wants to point out a grammatical error.
 

Maikeru-sama

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Good read.

Braylon Edwards' comments did a pretty good job of underscoring the problem.

In "our" neighborhoods, it is all about not forgetting where you came from and giving back to the community. Too many times in "our" community, people often take take and take, make it big and then the community as a whole that was partly responsible for their success never hears from them again (See O.J. Simpson). This is why there is a strong penchant for those in the "hood" to be so trigger happy when they see successful people in their community doing this because they have seen it a multitude of times.

Alot of these guys have been pampered their entire sports playing life and are extremely immature and downright ignorant on how to handle this type of situation.

Me, personally, I would evaluate "my crew" on a case by case basis and put most of them on a short leash. I make sure if you are going to hang around me, you will be put to work, being responsible for various activities such as: cutting hair, buying groceries, providing bodyguard services etc etc. It would be made known that this is a professional business and certain will not be tolerated and you will be cut off.

An to be fair, this isn't just an NFL phenomenon, it happens in all circles of life. One profession that comes to mind is Politics.

- Mike G.
 

Maikeru-sama

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tunahelper;1509038 said:
Same old B.S. from ESPN!
Maybe Vick & Jones are bad influences on their friends.
Many people grow up poor and dont commit crime or act like a thug?
Since both of these people are now rich, how long will it take for them to be converted to an advantaged lifestyle?
We hope the money will eventually turn them into productive citzens!
Some people are punks no matter if their rich or poor!
Weak spined reporting!

Yeah...kind of like you saying in a thread a couple of days ago that Donovan Mcnabb is being overhyped because he is Black :rolleyes: .

- Mike G.
 

DallasEast

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WoodysGirl;1508878 said:
It's not about whether the friend is real or not. It's about a person growing up and putting old friends into their proper perspective. You can have friends who you truly care about, but as you outgrow them, you have to put them in a different box. You gotta put them in the box of longtime friend with different interests than you. And from there, you can catch up occasionally, but you don't hang with them and you don't halt your growth into new interests, just to hold onto old friends.

The problem is some of these guys haven't outgrown their friends. So they continue to run with them irregardless of the consequences. And now, it's beginning to catch up to them.
My point remains that some people have never been your friend. "Friend" is simply a word. It is how a person acts in your best interest that makes you a friend and vice versa. It doesn't matter how long someone has known you. If they do things or behave in ways which are detrimental to you, they were never your friend in the first place.

A pro athlete's friends are those who do not get him or her in trouble. The ones who do can be more aptly described as parasites. And who ever wants a parasite as a friend? Answer: people who want others around to help them self-destruct and that's the self-destructive mindset some pro athletes must overcome.
 

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WoodysGirl;1509117 said:
You were being funny, but next time you can keep the lesson to yourself. Next time I want a proofreader, I'll hire one. I find it very annoying when a point is lost, because someone wants to point out a grammatical error.

Hey Thumper, What out!

snake-bite.jpg
 

THUMPER

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WoodysGirl;1509117 said:
You were being funny, but next time you can keep the lesson to yourself. Next time I want a proofreader, I'll hire one. I find it very annoying when a point is lost, because someone wants to point out a grammatical error.

I don't think your point was lost at all and I thought you were mature enough to handle a small point of correction that wasn't meant as criticism. Must have been too early in the morning. My apologies if it annoyed you, that was not my intent.
 

ArmyCowboy

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Hostile;1509111 said:
Let's do the math here. Who is leading and who is following? If you are an NFL and you're the guy with all the bank the friends you have are going to follow YOU. If they say "let's get involved in dog fighting" without your financial backing they probably can't do it. All you have to say is "no" and they move on to the next adventure.

You don't have to be a Christian to respect the power of this quote from the Bible. "When I was a child I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man I put away childish things."

That is essentially what you have to do. You've got to freaking grow up. That means being a leader.

I guarantee you that if these players looked for positive outlets that they and their friends could be involved in they could still have fun. When they were kids they hopefully had fun no matter what they were doing. It was fun just being together and doing something. Throw a BBQ and invite a bunch of kids. Make your friends do the cooking and get them involved in water balloon fights with the kids. At the end of the day they'll be talking about what a good time it was and how you should do stuff like that more often.

The point is, they will follow you. You don't need to follow them.

Very well put.

The problem is though, not everyone is a leader, and being an athlete or being wealthy does not make you one.

Some people are simply not strong enough to say 'no' to the 'friends'.

vick, Jones and some others have to sack up and say 'no', or eventually, they'll be in the same situation they were in before coming into the league.

Though not an NFL player, the story of Mike Tyson should inspire players to cut toxic relationships.
 

WoodysGirl

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DallasEast;1509382 said:
My point remains that some people have never been your friend. "Friend" is simply a word. It is how a person acts in your best interest that makes you a friend and vice versa. It doesn't matter how long someone has known you. If they do things or behave in ways which are detrimental to you, they were never your friend in the first place.

A pro athlete's friends are those who do not get him or her in trouble. The ones who do can be more aptly described as parasites. And who ever wants a parasite as a friend? Answer: people who want others around to help them self-destruct and that's the self-destructive mindset some pro athletes must overcome.
I actually agree with all of what you posted. My point is based simply on the growth of the person, not the supposed friend. Also, it's not about the length of time they know one another. It's about a person recognizing that this person is not someone they should have in his/her life to the same degree as they have been. I see it as putting the onus on the person, not the friend, to understand that this person is toxic to his/her life. Basically that person needs to grow up.

THUMPER;1509463 said:
I don't think your point was lost at all and I thought you were mature enough to handle a small point of correction that wasn't meant as criticism. Must have been too early in the morning. My apologies if it annoyed you, that was not my intent.
It's not about my maturity or lack thereof. What you did was trigger one of my pet peeves. A discussion on *whatever* somehow gets lost, because someone wants to correct the poster's grammar. If the overall gist of the post made sense, a lesson on grammar is not needed.
 

skinsscalper

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My grandfather told me something about money a long time ago that I have never forgotten. He said that money only makes a person more of what they already are. If they were generous before they had money, they will be more generous. If they were miserable before they had money, they will be more miserable. If they were an ***hole before they had money they, will be a bigger ***hole. If they were immature before they had money they will be more immature. I have yet to run into anyone that "came into money" that has disproven this simple theory.

SS

:star:
 

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Hi, my name is 5Stars, glad to meet you!

:D


Actually, I was miserable until I went to College and got a good job that payed me some pretty big money. However, I worked for it and it was not just given to me, but I understand what your grandpa says!

I use to work with a black man that would never buy lottery tickets like the rest of us. I asked him why? He said that he was afraid that he might win...if you are born into money, you have people around you that do the same things and you know what or how to handle it. However, if you are suddenly GIVEN tons of money, like millions and millions, you now have to change your whole life! Lots of responsibility right there! People will come out of the wood work to exploit you in some way or the other...he wanted no part of that. He was as happy with life just the way it was for him!

I understood that....
 
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