- Messages
- 79,281
- Reaction score
- 45,641
If there is one constant that binds two of the players currently caught in the crosshairs of NFL commissioner Roger Goodell -- that duo being Atlanta quarterback Michael Vick and Tennessee cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones -- it is the fact that their friends have figured so prominently in their off-the-field issues.
We keep hearing about the influence of their entourages or their posses, so much so that it raises a question that should be familiar to many pro athletes: How do you deal with your friends from the old neighborhood? Some would say that players such as Vick and Jones are better served by cutting ties and moving on. I'm going to argue a different point, however. They don't have to lose their friends. They have to handle them better.
Of course, we're not talking about just any NFL players. We're talking about those who come from the types of disadvantaged backgrounds that Vick and Jones know all too well. They're the ones who usually face the toughest decisions when it comes to dealing with their friends because it's often their friends who end up creating many of their problems.
In the case of Vick, who is dealing with allegations of his involvement in dog fighting, many people believe his friends have become enablers who make it easy for Vick to fall into the silly troubles that have plagued him recently. As for Jones -- who is appealing a one-year suspension for multiple run-ins with the law and has been among the subjects of a Las Vegas police investigation into a triple shooting -- even his own relatives have criticized the company he keeps.
It's hard to know exactly how many problems can be linked to these friendships, but it is fair to say that both men have to make significant changes within their inner circles. If not, they could find themselves sitting where Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis once was in 2000, when he faced a double-murder trial in Atlanta that also involved two of his former friends. They could end up losing a pal in the way Chicago Bears defensive tackle Tank Johnson lost his best friend, Willie B. Posey, who was shot and killed in December during a fight at a Chicago nightclub where Johnson also was present. Johnson, who is awaiting word of a probable suspension after serving a 60-day jail sentence, already has started changing his life, while Lewis is a classic example of how to transform an image from negative to positive.
What Jones and Vick have to accept is that maintaining the same environments they grew up in only creates more possibilities for bad habits to continue. And God knows these two have come from the roughest environments imaginable. Jones' mother spent three years in prison and his father was killed when Jones was only 5 years old. Vick grew up in one of the roughest areas of Newport News, Va., the child of teenaged parents. These guys didn't just live through their childhoods. They survived them. And ultimately, the friends they made were the ones who watched their backs and helped them cope.
Consequently, there's a strong sense of loyalty that factors into how they deal with their friends. Listen to what Cleveland Browns wide receiver Braylon Edwards says about Pacman Jones: "I know Pacman well enough to know that the friends he has now are probably the same people that helped raise him when he was growing up. They might not be the right people for him, but they were the ones who helped him get to this point in his career. What he has to understand now is that those same people have the power to define him. It's important for him to be aware of the situations those people can put him in, because ultimately he's taking the blame for whatever goes down."
The problem is that Jones is like a lot of athletes: He clearly has a hard time accepting that. It requires doing some difficult things, like calling out a friend, cutting him off financially or running the risk that those friends will see him as big-timing them. The reality, however, is that a lot of players in the NFL have had to do the same thing during their careers, and they've found a way to deal with those awkward moments. In fact, the NFL holds a seminar at its rookie symposium every year in which veteran players emphasize the importance of saying "no" to friends and family.
Says Kansas City head coach Herm Edwards: "It's tough for some young guys to accept that responsibility because you're talking about their boys from the 'hood. But the thing is that these guys are professionals now and that's part of being a professional. These guys have to meet a certain standard, and if somebody around them isn't helping them meet that standard, they have to address it."
Edwards says he's dealt with this issue during every season of his 18-year coaching career. He specifically mentions former Pro Bowl cornerback Dale Carter, whom Edwards coached as a Chiefs assistant from 1992-94, as a player who couldn't reel in his own friends. Carter ultimately bounced around the NFL -- while struggling with off-field troubles that included drug abuse -- but Edwards eventually ran into him again during the 2005 season. They met when Carter was a member of the Baltimore Ravens and Edwards was coaching the Jets, and Edwards literally could see the changes Carter had made. In fact, Carter admitted that Edwards was right about the need to control his friendships better.
The point of that story is that these things often can take more time than current NFL players have in a league in which Goodell has mandated the need for improved personal conduct. It already sounds like Jones will struggle to control his friends. As one person familiar with Jones says, "When he made the NFL, they all made the NFL." As for Vick, he is well past the point where he should be able to understand this lesson. Six years in the NFL is long enough to mature.
The question ultimately is whether they can accept that responsibility. It's one thing to be back in the neighborhood and running with kids who've got your back. It's another thing altogether when those same kids are living off your success and potentially jeopardizing it. The important thing to remember here is that whether it's Vick, Jones or some other athlete, the challenge isn't to find a way to find new friends. It's about these young men discovering the courage to take control of their lives.
Jeffri Chadiha is a senior writer for ESPN.com.
LINK
We keep hearing about the influence of their entourages or their posses, so much so that it raises a question that should be familiar to many pro athletes: How do you deal with your friends from the old neighborhood? Some would say that players such as Vick and Jones are better served by cutting ties and moving on. I'm going to argue a different point, however. They don't have to lose their friends. They have to handle them better.
Of course, we're not talking about just any NFL players. We're talking about those who come from the types of disadvantaged backgrounds that Vick and Jones know all too well. They're the ones who usually face the toughest decisions when it comes to dealing with their friends because it's often their friends who end up creating many of their problems.
In the case of Vick, who is dealing with allegations of his involvement in dog fighting, many people believe his friends have become enablers who make it easy for Vick to fall into the silly troubles that have plagued him recently. As for Jones -- who is appealing a one-year suspension for multiple run-ins with the law and has been among the subjects of a Las Vegas police investigation into a triple shooting -- even his own relatives have criticized the company he keeps.
It's hard to know exactly how many problems can be linked to these friendships, but it is fair to say that both men have to make significant changes within their inner circles. If not, they could find themselves sitting where Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis once was in 2000, when he faced a double-murder trial in Atlanta that also involved two of his former friends. They could end up losing a pal in the way Chicago Bears defensive tackle Tank Johnson lost his best friend, Willie B. Posey, who was shot and killed in December during a fight at a Chicago nightclub where Johnson also was present. Johnson, who is awaiting word of a probable suspension after serving a 60-day jail sentence, already has started changing his life, while Lewis is a classic example of how to transform an image from negative to positive.
What Jones and Vick have to accept is that maintaining the same environments they grew up in only creates more possibilities for bad habits to continue. And God knows these two have come from the roughest environments imaginable. Jones' mother spent three years in prison and his father was killed when Jones was only 5 years old. Vick grew up in one of the roughest areas of Newport News, Va., the child of teenaged parents. These guys didn't just live through their childhoods. They survived them. And ultimately, the friends they made were the ones who watched their backs and helped them cope.
Consequently, there's a strong sense of loyalty that factors into how they deal with their friends. Listen to what Cleveland Browns wide receiver Braylon Edwards says about Pacman Jones: "I know Pacman well enough to know that the friends he has now are probably the same people that helped raise him when he was growing up. They might not be the right people for him, but they were the ones who helped him get to this point in his career. What he has to understand now is that those same people have the power to define him. It's important for him to be aware of the situations those people can put him in, because ultimately he's taking the blame for whatever goes down."
The problem is that Jones is like a lot of athletes: He clearly has a hard time accepting that. It requires doing some difficult things, like calling out a friend, cutting him off financially or running the risk that those friends will see him as big-timing them. The reality, however, is that a lot of players in the NFL have had to do the same thing during their careers, and they've found a way to deal with those awkward moments. In fact, the NFL holds a seminar at its rookie symposium every year in which veteran players emphasize the importance of saying "no" to friends and family.
Says Kansas City head coach Herm Edwards: "It's tough for some young guys to accept that responsibility because you're talking about their boys from the 'hood. But the thing is that these guys are professionals now and that's part of being a professional. These guys have to meet a certain standard, and if somebody around them isn't helping them meet that standard, they have to address it."
Edwards says he's dealt with this issue during every season of his 18-year coaching career. He specifically mentions former Pro Bowl cornerback Dale Carter, whom Edwards coached as a Chiefs assistant from 1992-94, as a player who couldn't reel in his own friends. Carter ultimately bounced around the NFL -- while struggling with off-field troubles that included drug abuse -- but Edwards eventually ran into him again during the 2005 season. They met when Carter was a member of the Baltimore Ravens and Edwards was coaching the Jets, and Edwards literally could see the changes Carter had made. In fact, Carter admitted that Edwards was right about the need to control his friendships better.
The point of that story is that these things often can take more time than current NFL players have in a league in which Goodell has mandated the need for improved personal conduct. It already sounds like Jones will struggle to control his friends. As one person familiar with Jones says, "When he made the NFL, they all made the NFL." As for Vick, he is well past the point where he should be able to understand this lesson. Six years in the NFL is long enough to mature.
The question ultimately is whether they can accept that responsibility. It's one thing to be back in the neighborhood and running with kids who've got your back. It's another thing altogether when those same kids are living off your success and potentially jeopardizing it. The important thing to remember here is that whether it's Vick, Jones or some other athlete, the challenge isn't to find a way to find new friends. It's about these young men discovering the courage to take control of their lives.
Jeffri Chadiha is a senior writer for ESPN.com.
LINK