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The Quiet Man
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Sanders continues to seek the spotlight
Smarty Jones, who'll never have a reasonable excuse to abandon his enviable retirement, has surrendered this week's golden-oldie marquee to Deion Sanders.
Deion, it has been reported, is threatening to sprint out of a stalled TV career and back into the NFL. The speculative explanation for this return is loot, with a side order of limelight.
His employment target is Baltimore's Ravens, a team with the greatest insanity defense in the league. Their ringleader is high-steppin' linebacker Ray Lewis, who has decided it was time for his team to have an old dog in the house.
Anyway, adding a pass defender of Deion's caliber almost seems like overkill on the order of Gloria Allred suiting up as a full-time cast member on The View.
But let's not understate what's revealed in the Big Picture.
A furtive glance at the Big Picture reminds us that — if he's playing football — Deion can't be unleashed on the viewing public as a network studio analyst.
We should be encouraging — no, begging — this guy to play.
By the way, his fling with NFL analysis occurred a few years ago when CBS hired Sanders to provide chatter on its Sunday pregame show. In addition to supplying a great deal of talk, Deion blinded his audience with a lineup of suits that had built-in volume controls.
It has been speculated that Sanders purchased most of his wardrobe at The Men's Darehouse.
Unfortunately for the haberdashery, Deion's TV career was yanked into serious jeopardy earlier this year when CBS declined an offer to double his salary. Network executives referred to their maneuver as a coverage sack.
Sanders also failed to amaze as the host for an outdoor show claimed by ESPN. It has been reported that despite being an avid fisherman, Deion's incessant bluster inspired several fish to hook themselves on purpose and just end it all.
Sure, it was good TV, but lousy public relations.
Another not-so-near miss was recorded when Deion informed the Atlanta Falcons that he wouldn't mind being hired as their head coach. The Falcons reportedly were tempted to interview their ex-superstar until it was revealed that Sanders would ask Michael Vick to return punts.
Now, after three years off, the 37-year-old Deion is considering the gig of nickel back with the NFL's most talented defense.
Before examining the impact of his potential return, let's revisit how Sanders arrived at the notion of Prime One More Time.
After Atlanta claimed him with the fifth pick in the 1989 NFL Draft, Deion quickly became one of the league's most electrifying players.
Deion Sanders fit right in on the cocky and brash Cowboys of the '90s.
(Jed Jacobsohn / GettyImages)
In his cover-corner heyday, Sanders seemed almost good enough to prevent 7-Eleven from getting open. His interpretation of run support was providing teammates with verbal encouragement, but nobody made a living while attempting to pass on him.
Eventually, opposing teams decided to completely avoid working with the receiver lined up on Deion's side of the real estate.
And it became even more difficult to avoid Sanders the punt returner. From the beginning, he was harder to tackle than truck-stop meat loaf.
The preamble may have been even more entertaining.
While preparing to field a punt, Deion would rev up the crowd while executing what could be mistaken for the official chicken fertility dance. During one sequence of gyrations, Sanders pulled off a Saturday Night Fever move and was credited with signaling for a fair catch.
But despite his greatness and showmanship, Deion's football glory was partially mitigated by his desire to play Major League Baseball.
For the record, his most memorable baseball moment arrived when Sanders poured ice water on Tim McCarver.
Anyway, after continuing as a cover-corner mercenary, Deion retired in 2000.
Since then, his TV work has been supplemented with star turns for The Lord.
Yeah, according to high-placed sources, Deion has seen the light. And it was a good thing he was wearing shades when it happened.
But after Deion saw the light and found God, God promised to upgrade His hiding places.
As a part-time preacher, it has been alleged that Deion's offering plate looked more like a chafing dish. His walk with The Lord gained even more momentum when it was reported that Sanders refused to pay for car repairs because God had told him not to.
A judge, who probably realized he'd be overturned on appeal, agreed.
This desire to humble himself led to Sanders to publicly admit that — during his playing days — he'd become an addict. The defensive back that no receiver could shake had discovered something he had failed to outrun.
Deion Sanders was addicted to love. He'd turned into an under-the-covers corner.
For the record, nothing obscene has been revealed, unless we're counting the aforementioned wardrobe.
Now Deion reportedly is waiting for a basketball-related injury to heal before working toward his NFL return.
With the Ravens, who are officially-unofficially interested in checking him out, Sanders would perform as the third corner in a potentially devastating nickel package. It should be noted that God — as financial expert — is expected to have Deion seek participation in the dime package, instead.
Deion Sanders has never been short on confidence.
(Allen Steele / GettyImages)
Before that can be negotiated, the Ravens will require proof that Sanders can still run.
Much like AA, losing a step can be devastating for a defensive back. According to legend, Deion broke 4.2 for 40 yards at the NFL scouting combine.
He probably can't even sniff that now, but figures capable of going at least 4.5 through quicksand.
Only Deion knows for sure.
But in an effort to assuage any self-doubt, Sanders thought it might be wise to check in with an expert.
The expert he selected was Michael Jordan, who's come out of retirement more often than Godzilla.
According to reports, MJ reminded Deion that coming back as a geezer only should occur if the team you're joining is, well, loaded.
With the exception of wide receiver (where Sanders could work from time to time) and QB (where Kyle Boller is skilled but green), the Baltimore side looks fabulous.
Insiders say Jordan also encouraged Sanders to follow his heart.
The heart issue really works well with any telltale Edgar Allen Poe theme. However, there's one Poe-related buzzword that may not jibe with Deion's interest in abandoning retirement. Our amended battle cry goes like this: Quoth the Raven: Never say, "Nevermore."
Smarty Jones, who'll never have a reasonable excuse to abandon his enviable retirement, has surrendered this week's golden-oldie marquee to Deion Sanders.
Deion, it has been reported, is threatening to sprint out of a stalled TV career and back into the NFL. The speculative explanation for this return is loot, with a side order of limelight.
His employment target is Baltimore's Ravens, a team with the greatest insanity defense in the league. Their ringleader is high-steppin' linebacker Ray Lewis, who has decided it was time for his team to have an old dog in the house.
Anyway, adding a pass defender of Deion's caliber almost seems like overkill on the order of Gloria Allred suiting up as a full-time cast member on The View.
But let's not understate what's revealed in the Big Picture.
A furtive glance at the Big Picture reminds us that — if he's playing football — Deion can't be unleashed on the viewing public as a network studio analyst.
We should be encouraging — no, begging — this guy to play.
By the way, his fling with NFL analysis occurred a few years ago when CBS hired Sanders to provide chatter on its Sunday pregame show. In addition to supplying a great deal of talk, Deion blinded his audience with a lineup of suits that had built-in volume controls.
It has been speculated that Sanders purchased most of his wardrobe at The Men's Darehouse.
Unfortunately for the haberdashery, Deion's TV career was yanked into serious jeopardy earlier this year when CBS declined an offer to double his salary. Network executives referred to their maneuver as a coverage sack.
Sanders also failed to amaze as the host for an outdoor show claimed by ESPN. It has been reported that despite being an avid fisherman, Deion's incessant bluster inspired several fish to hook themselves on purpose and just end it all.
Sure, it was good TV, but lousy public relations.
Another not-so-near miss was recorded when Deion informed the Atlanta Falcons that he wouldn't mind being hired as their head coach. The Falcons reportedly were tempted to interview their ex-superstar until it was revealed that Sanders would ask Michael Vick to return punts.
Now, after three years off, the 37-year-old Deion is considering the gig of nickel back with the NFL's most talented defense.
Before examining the impact of his potential return, let's revisit how Sanders arrived at the notion of Prime One More Time.
After Atlanta claimed him with the fifth pick in the 1989 NFL Draft, Deion quickly became one of the league's most electrifying players.
Deion Sanders fit right in on the cocky and brash Cowboys of the '90s.
(Jed Jacobsohn / GettyImages)
In his cover-corner heyday, Sanders seemed almost good enough to prevent 7-Eleven from getting open. His interpretation of run support was providing teammates with verbal encouragement, but nobody made a living while attempting to pass on him.
Eventually, opposing teams decided to completely avoid working with the receiver lined up on Deion's side of the real estate.
And it became even more difficult to avoid Sanders the punt returner. From the beginning, he was harder to tackle than truck-stop meat loaf.
The preamble may have been even more entertaining.
While preparing to field a punt, Deion would rev up the crowd while executing what could be mistaken for the official chicken fertility dance. During one sequence of gyrations, Sanders pulled off a Saturday Night Fever move and was credited with signaling for a fair catch.
But despite his greatness and showmanship, Deion's football glory was partially mitigated by his desire to play Major League Baseball.
For the record, his most memorable baseball moment arrived when Sanders poured ice water on Tim McCarver.
Anyway, after continuing as a cover-corner mercenary, Deion retired in 2000.
Since then, his TV work has been supplemented with star turns for The Lord.
Yeah, according to high-placed sources, Deion has seen the light. And it was a good thing he was wearing shades when it happened.
But after Deion saw the light and found God, God promised to upgrade His hiding places.
As a part-time preacher, it has been alleged that Deion's offering plate looked more like a chafing dish. His walk with The Lord gained even more momentum when it was reported that Sanders refused to pay for car repairs because God had told him not to.
A judge, who probably realized he'd be overturned on appeal, agreed.
This desire to humble himself led to Sanders to publicly admit that — during his playing days — he'd become an addict. The defensive back that no receiver could shake had discovered something he had failed to outrun.
Deion Sanders was addicted to love. He'd turned into an under-the-covers corner.
For the record, nothing obscene has been revealed, unless we're counting the aforementioned wardrobe.
Now Deion reportedly is waiting for a basketball-related injury to heal before working toward his NFL return.
With the Ravens, who are officially-unofficially interested in checking him out, Sanders would perform as the third corner in a potentially devastating nickel package. It should be noted that God — as financial expert — is expected to have Deion seek participation in the dime package, instead.
(Allen Steele / GettyImages)
Before that can be negotiated, the Ravens will require proof that Sanders can still run.
Much like AA, losing a step can be devastating for a defensive back. According to legend, Deion broke 4.2 for 40 yards at the NFL scouting combine.
He probably can't even sniff that now, but figures capable of going at least 4.5 through quicksand.
Only Deion knows for sure.
But in an effort to assuage any self-doubt, Sanders thought it might be wise to check in with an expert.
The expert he selected was Michael Jordan, who's come out of retirement more often than Godzilla.
According to reports, MJ reminded Deion that coming back as a geezer only should occur if the team you're joining is, well, loaded.
With the exception of wide receiver (where Sanders could work from time to time) and QB (where Kyle Boller is skilled but green), the Baltimore side looks fabulous.
Insiders say Jordan also encouraged Sanders to follow his heart.
The heart issue really works well with any telltale Edgar Allen Poe theme. However, there's one Poe-related buzzword that may not jibe with Deion's interest in abandoning retirement. Our amended battle cry goes like this: Quoth the Raven: Never say, "Nevermore."