Cbz40
The Grand Poobah
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Posted on Fri, Feb. 16, 2007
Bendin' rules is racin', boys
By Gil LeBreton
Star-Telegram Staff Writer
Michael Waltrip, driver of the No. 55 NAPA Toyota Camry, expressed embarrassment Thursday over his team being caught cheating. "But we'll get over this," he said.
Michael Waltrip, driver of the No. 55 NAPA Toyota Camry, expressed embarrassment Thursday over his team being caught cheating. "But we'll get over this," he said.
As evidence that the apple -- or the carburetor, apparently -- doesn't fall far from the tree, Michael Waltrip brought back memories Wednesday of his high-octane brother.
Michael's car was caught at Daytona International Speedway this week lathered with a suspicious substance believed to be jet fuel.
Brother Darrell Waltrip, the driver-turned-TV analyst, preferred nitrous oxide.
This, you see, was before the days of Mountain Dew. Nitrous oxide, a root canal's best friend, was one of 1970s NASCAR's, and brother Darrell's, alleged earliest fuel stimulants.
Is it cheating? Only if you get caught, it seems. Otherwise, that's racin', gentlemen.
Hollowed-out bolts and lug nuts, go for it. Weighted wheels that were conveniently replaced on the first pit stop, you bet. Rear bumpers designed to fall off (and lighten the car) at the slightest contact, why not?
If you ain't cheatin', you ain't tryin'. That wasn't NASCAR's official early motto, but it was written in spirit on the wall of every garage.
The question that begs a reasonable answer, meanwhile, is why? Why crack down on "cheating" when NASCAR Nation surely isn't losing sleep in the RV over it? And why do it this week at the sport's Super Bowl, the Daytona 500?
If you're scoring along at the beer tent, six teams have been sanctioned this week in various forms by NASCAR. Michael Waltrip's crew chief and team director suffered the additional indignity of being paraded through the Nextel Cup garage and kicked out of the track.
Barney Fife turns Inspector Javert. Who knew?
Yes, rules are rules. The NASCAR lieutenants who are quoting the rule book this week are the same ones whose job it is to woo more advertising clients.
Imagine how Toyota must feel. They bellied up to the NASCAR trough for the first time this season, and Waltrip's car gets impounded as evidence.
Were the Nextel Cup sponsors that worried, though, about the boys trying to find a little more horsepower?
Jet fuel. How many crew chiefs heard that Wednesday and immediately phoned NASA, trying to buy a few liters of space shuttle ethyl?
The real NASCAR writers -- the ones who can prattle for hours about restrictor plates and who know at least seven secret back roads to Texas Motor Speedway -- are taking the big bust at Daytona seriously. Some are calling for the temporary heads of the sport's top drivers.
"I would have done whatever they would have dished out to me," a contrite Michael Waltrip said Thursday at Daytona. "I don't need to cheat to win this race, because I've done it before. I'm just embarrassed for my organization.
"But we'll get over this."
Of course they will. And so will NASCAR.
It isn't as if Barry Bonds lapped the field six times and won the Food City 500. There were no congressional hearings being called to investigate the growing use of hydraulic spoilers.
This is still a sport, if I may remind the France family, where women can sometimes be found on race day dancing naked in the infield. How much dignity is NASCAR really trying to protect?
"Don't get me wrong," owner/driver Kyle Petty said on Speed TV. "I'm not trying to throw rocks at glass houses. I've cheated a lot of times. I just haven't got caught like these guys have.
"What NASCAR is saying is that they're not going to put up with it anymore. They're saying 2007 will be a new era in NASCAR."
Hmm. And whose uptight idea was that?
Doesn't NASCAR have bigger problems, like trying to figure out how to get more side-by-side racing back into the sport?
Drivers were warned. At last year's Daytona 500, Jimmie Johnson won despite crew chief Chad Knaus being banned from the track. NASCAR, they're saying, had to put its foot down.
Some of us, though, would rather see stock-car racing put only its gas pedal foot down. Yesterday's nitrous oxide is today's jet fuel. At least the Waltrip crew didn't claim that it was flaxseed oil.
Or look at it another way. I'm writing about NASCAR in the middle of February. You're reading about NASCAR. It's the dead of winter, and we've been watching the NASCAR reports every day on ESPN.
NASCAR can't be that smart, can it?
I think I just heard Richard Petty and Darrell Waltrip laugh.
Gil LeBreton, 817-390-7760 glebreton@star-telegram.com
Bendin' rules is racin', boys
By Gil LeBreton
Star-Telegram Staff Writer
Michael Waltrip, driver of the No. 55 NAPA Toyota Camry, expressed embarrassment Thursday over his team being caught cheating. "But we'll get over this," he said.
Michael Waltrip, driver of the No. 55 NAPA Toyota Camry, expressed embarrassment Thursday over his team being caught cheating. "But we'll get over this," he said.
As evidence that the apple -- or the carburetor, apparently -- doesn't fall far from the tree, Michael Waltrip brought back memories Wednesday of his high-octane brother.
Michael's car was caught at Daytona International Speedway this week lathered with a suspicious substance believed to be jet fuel.
Brother Darrell Waltrip, the driver-turned-TV analyst, preferred nitrous oxide.
This, you see, was before the days of Mountain Dew. Nitrous oxide, a root canal's best friend, was one of 1970s NASCAR's, and brother Darrell's, alleged earliest fuel stimulants.
Is it cheating? Only if you get caught, it seems. Otherwise, that's racin', gentlemen.
Hollowed-out bolts and lug nuts, go for it. Weighted wheels that were conveniently replaced on the first pit stop, you bet. Rear bumpers designed to fall off (and lighten the car) at the slightest contact, why not?
If you ain't cheatin', you ain't tryin'. That wasn't NASCAR's official early motto, but it was written in spirit on the wall of every garage.
The question that begs a reasonable answer, meanwhile, is why? Why crack down on "cheating" when NASCAR Nation surely isn't losing sleep in the RV over it? And why do it this week at the sport's Super Bowl, the Daytona 500?
If you're scoring along at the beer tent, six teams have been sanctioned this week in various forms by NASCAR. Michael Waltrip's crew chief and team director suffered the additional indignity of being paraded through the Nextel Cup garage and kicked out of the track.
Barney Fife turns Inspector Javert. Who knew?
Yes, rules are rules. The NASCAR lieutenants who are quoting the rule book this week are the same ones whose job it is to woo more advertising clients.
Imagine how Toyota must feel. They bellied up to the NASCAR trough for the first time this season, and Waltrip's car gets impounded as evidence.
Were the Nextel Cup sponsors that worried, though, about the boys trying to find a little more horsepower?
Jet fuel. How many crew chiefs heard that Wednesday and immediately phoned NASA, trying to buy a few liters of space shuttle ethyl?
The real NASCAR writers -- the ones who can prattle for hours about restrictor plates and who know at least seven secret back roads to Texas Motor Speedway -- are taking the big bust at Daytona seriously. Some are calling for the temporary heads of the sport's top drivers.
"I would have done whatever they would have dished out to me," a contrite Michael Waltrip said Thursday at Daytona. "I don't need to cheat to win this race, because I've done it before. I'm just embarrassed for my organization.
"But we'll get over this."
Of course they will. And so will NASCAR.
It isn't as if Barry Bonds lapped the field six times and won the Food City 500. There were no congressional hearings being called to investigate the growing use of hydraulic spoilers.
This is still a sport, if I may remind the France family, where women can sometimes be found on race day dancing naked in the infield. How much dignity is NASCAR really trying to protect?
"Don't get me wrong," owner/driver Kyle Petty said on Speed TV. "I'm not trying to throw rocks at glass houses. I've cheated a lot of times. I just haven't got caught like these guys have.
"What NASCAR is saying is that they're not going to put up with it anymore. They're saying 2007 will be a new era in NASCAR."
Hmm. And whose uptight idea was that?
Doesn't NASCAR have bigger problems, like trying to figure out how to get more side-by-side racing back into the sport?
Drivers were warned. At last year's Daytona 500, Jimmie Johnson won despite crew chief Chad Knaus being banned from the track. NASCAR, they're saying, had to put its foot down.
Some of us, though, would rather see stock-car racing put only its gas pedal foot down. Yesterday's nitrous oxide is today's jet fuel. At least the Waltrip crew didn't claim that it was flaxseed oil.
Or look at it another way. I'm writing about NASCAR in the middle of February. You're reading about NASCAR. It's the dead of winter, and we've been watching the NASCAR reports every day on ESPN.
NASCAR can't be that smart, can it?
I think I just heard Richard Petty and Darrell Waltrip laugh.
Gil LeBreton, 817-390-7760 glebreton@star-telegram.com
