Has Anyone Cut Off Alcohol From Their Lifestyle?

[Blackspider214]

Has anyone here ever made the decision to cut out alcohol from their lifestyle? I know some whom never got into it at all but this is directed more to people who used to drink quite often but then cut it out.

I used to drink heavily. Mainly whisky. Added beer over the past few years. But after some thinking lately, I've come to the conclusion that most of the problems I have encountered came because of alcohol. I got a DUI 3 years ago. I've damaged relationships because of it. All of my friends drink and some heavily. Going out and drinking just became old. Waking up with hangovers and not remembering things got really old.

Any tips how to cut it off? My issue is social settings and with family. All of my family drinks. Now they will respect my decision but that is not the dilemma. It's just being around it and wanting to participate. No one wants to look like that wet blanket so to speak and not having a drink.

Same as my friends. I don't know if it will be awkward not drinking around them. They never do not drink when they go out. I've know some groups that kind of shun that person who doesn't drink and does not want them around as much. But I don't feel I need to drink to enjoy myself anymore. I used to think I did.

I've known some people who made the decision and never looked back. They said it changed their outlook on life and they feel great. They have been completely sober for years. Now for some, it was because they were kind of forced to because of legal trouble and their drug/alcohol abuse was literally killing them slowly. I am not in either position. Just want to make it for myself.

 

[skinsscalper]

I have and you're not going to like my answer but I'll give it to you, anyway. As much as possible, you have to find new people to hang out with. I'm not saying you have to abandon the group of people you hang with, now. But you do need to find an alternative group of people to hang with (obviously that don't drink). I don't know what other passions or hobbies that you have in your life, but start there.

There's nothing you can do about family but until you kind of get this a little under control, limit your exposure to those type of social functions. Above all, if you're serious about cutting it out of your life, don't discount professional help, brother. You don't have to be an alcoholic to seek help in turning your life in a different direction. What, in essence, you are doing is creating a lifestyle change. That's never easy. Doesn't matter the reasons or motivations. There are people out there that have knowledge that we don't in helping you do that. Once you hear some of their ideas you'll think to yourself "Well, duh, why didn't I think of that. It's so simple". Good luck to ya bro.

Now, I'm not completely abstinent (for the record) but I have gone from the guy that shut the bar down (at least 3 nights a week) to drinking maybe 10 times a year (max). Again, good luck to you.

 

[nobody]

You need to find the inner strength to be able to say no regardless of circumstance. It's not easy and that's why there are programs for it. Surrounding yourself with drinkers is a recipe for failure, but as Skins said, family can't be helped. That sort of thing has to come from inside, though. You have to want to quit bad enough for any level of success. I wish you luck in it though!

I drink socially on rare occasion with at most 2 beers in a day. I don't even keep alcohol in the house anymore and I used to drink a good amount. Now when I go out to celebrate a friend's birthday or something, I'll volunteer to drive. That can help when you know you're the one responsible for people getting home.

 

[MichaelWinicki]

I've never been a drinker.

But from a personal development standpoint to easily find what your station in life currently is, look at the group of people you hang around...

You are the sum of those parts.

To change yourself– change those you spend time with.

Skinsscapler nailed it.

Yeah, some family members may view you as a "wet blanket" but there is probably one or two who'll view you as a "champion" because you did what they lacked the intestinal fortitude to do– Heck maybe you'll even inspire someone else to stop and make a real difference in their life.

 

[Plankton]

My experience in this may be a little different than what you are/have experienced, but yes, I did cut myself off from alcohol.

I had a serious drinking problem when I was in college. I wasn't an every day drunk, but I would tie one on 3-4 days a week. I went through the DTs. I blacked out frequently. I had times where I woke up in places that I didn't remember going to, and on some days, not remembering what I had done the previous night at all. I also had some disciplinary trouble as a result - I was thrown out of my dorm midway through my sophomore year, and was on track to be thrown out of school entirely.

I tried going to AA, and for me, it was one of the worst things that I could do. I heard stories from others about how their lives had fallen apart, where they didn't hear from their families anymore, how they lost their jobs, their homes, their self respect. I viewed it as, well, I was still in school, my grades were fine, I had a good amount of friends, was dating someone, my family was still in my corner, ergo, I don't have a problem. I continued my behavior.

It came to a head my junior year. Early on, after a stressful day of classwork, I went to a party, and drank heavily. To the point that I got alcohol poisoning. With my prior disciplinary issues, I was thrown out of school. The worst thing for me wasn't that, but to have to tell my parents about what happened, and that I needed to come home. The sound of the voices of my parents, the sound of someone's heart breaking, haunts me to this day.

I went for an evaluation with a clinical psychologist, who determined that I didn't need to do in-patient rehab. I was in a program for 6 months. I needed to change my mindset entirely more than my surroundings. I also needed to grow up and accept responsibility for why I ended up in the position that I was in. This course worked for me. I actually applied for readmission at my prior college, and they accepted me back in, though I didn't go back.

I maintained friendships, and I continued to go to bars with friends. With my mindset change, I have been able to stay on course. I'm proud to say that I have been clean since September 25, 1990. It's never easy, but you have to be willing to be disciplined, ask for help when you need it, and acknowledge your shortcomings.

Recognizing that you have an issue is a good part of the battle. If you know in your heart that you need to change, and you keep your focus and discipline on this change, you can definitely make a break from this. It may require you to sever some relationships, or perhaps reboot them in a way, but I think you are the only one who can answer that question.

It takes a lot of courage to recognize this in yourself - I give you a lot of credit for that. I wish you a lot of luck. If you are so inclined, don't hesitate to PM me if you need some help or support.

 

[trickblue]

I can also tell you that Carrot Juice is supposed to curb the craving for alcohol. You can buy it prepared at most grocery stores...

Look it up and you can read about it. There's science behind it...

Also, in relation to what SS said, if your friends are really genuine friends, they will support you and even watch out for you when you guys are together. If they encourage you to drink, they are more than likely feeling bad about themselves and either need help also or aren't really a great friend...

 

[Reverend Conehead]

I threw alcohol out of of my life over 6 years ago and have never looked back. Like you, I was sick and tired of waking up hung over. It was one of the best decisions of my life. I was a lone drinker at home, so there was not the issue of DUIs or peer pressure to drink. I do know for certain how much outside support you'll need depends on how far along the path to alcoholism you are. I nipped this in the bud, so I didn't need any rehab. My cousin, however, had had a drinking problem so long that she got the shakes in withdrawal if she didn't have alcohol. She needed to go to detox, then rehab. I tried AA, but it wasn't for me, so instead I just got counseling and support from other friends who had quit. It's powerful to be able to talk to another person who understands when you get the itch to drink. In time my urges to drink went away, though I do occasionally miss it. Any time I feel any temptation, I go over how much better of a life I've built without alcohol. AA may work for you. It's very religiously oriented, so it depends where you are in that area if it would appeal to you. If not, there are other organizations that offer support for problem drinking without the religious overtones. I recommend getting to the heart of why you were drinking too much, whether it be through counseling or however you see fit. We all have our demons. The way to dis-empower them is to face them.

 

[Blackspider214]

Thanks for the replies guys!

Like a few have said, I am the sum of the parts of my friends. And doing an overview, I can pinpoint which ones are not healthy for me. It might be hard to get away from them as that part of my social life goes away but if they are true friends they won't care if I drink or not. If they do, then they were not true friends and just drinking buddies, which get old after awhile. I want to experience life without always having to drink.

I am not worried about my family in that aspect. They will be very supportive because they knew how I could get.

 

[trickblue]

You hit the nail on the head.

There is a big difference between true friends and drinking buddies...

 

[MileyDancer]

I've quit another thing (weed) and the key for me was to learn how to enjoy everything WITHOUT weed. Tailgating? Bring a blunt. Going to a movie? Smoke a bowl, and so on.

Once i realized i didn't need the weed to have fun, it was easy to quit. Also, i quit being around it. My friends that still smoke are really respectful, and don't bring it around in front of me.

I hope this little bit of advice helps. You can do it.

 

[Biggems]

It was never part of my lifestyle, neither was tobacco or illegal narcotics. No need for any of that stuff in my life.

Now, if I could somehow get sweets out of my lifestyle....damn, why did I have to be born with a Texas-sized sweet tooth?

 

[JoeyBoy718]

I've recently transitioned out of a heavy-alcohol lifestyle without even really trying to. I used to live in Miami. I lived in an area where heavy drinking (and especially driving) was the norm. Every bar you'd go to, you'd see people wasted. Plus bars stayed open pretty late. All of my best friends were heavy drinkers, and I can't recall a single time hanging out with them that didn't revolve around drinking. I drank pretty much every day, and got wasted a few nights a week. Not waking up hungover was a rarity. When I wasn't drinking with my friends, I'd walk across the street to a little dive bar (where everybody knows your name) and drink by myself.

Then I moved to Seattle for grad school. I lived near campus so the majority of people I'd see were younger students. Also, Seattle was very different from Miami. Bars closed much earlier than Miami and you'd rarely see people wasted. People were much more responsible when it came to drinking. And you'd rarely find someone driving after even a single drink. The bars were much more classy (and expensive), and the people you'd see usually were just getting off work. I had a hard time finding drinking buddies (since they weren't as hardcore as me), so I'd usually drink by myself.

I did this every night for about the first two months in Seattle. Then I met my future wife. She didn't like when I got out of control drunk. I'd be pretty nasty to her and would often look like a fool in front of all of our responsible friends. We moved in together. We didn't go out to bars much anymore. We still drank but usually a glass of wine at dinner. I didn't have my old Miami friends to go out with, so if I wanted to get wasted I'd have to go out by myself. But I didn't really have the urge. I liked having my glass of scotch on my couch while watching Netflix with the wife. I guess my life just changed. Even the rare times I get drunk now, it's not nearly as bad as it used to be.

 

[Yakuza Rich]

I did for health reasons and was a heavy drinker, but it never actually caused me problems. Maybe my relationships could have been better, maybe I could have sharper at work, but I never think it cost me relationships and I never had a DUI.

I think what alcohol did for me is diluted my understanding of my life. I was, in reality, very depressed. And I started to use alcohol to deal with that depression.

I hated my job and I hated where I lived. And I didn't want to accept it because I made the choices to live there and work those jobs. And I think I have a fear of taking those risks to better my life. So I used booze to make me forget about those things and neglect that I had an issue with willing to quit my job and move if it meant being happy.

I had a guy explain this to me once. Confidence is about thinking you're so good that you won't screw up. Confidence is about understanding you're going to make mistakes along the way, but also understanding that you're so damn good that you can do great things to more than make up for those mistakes.

So, part of the issue was confidence. I had this idea that you can't screw up. This idea that you don't want to quit your job and move because you might make another bad decision that you don't think you can afford to make. Instead I needed to have the perspective that there was no sense in working a job you hated and living in a city you hated....go out, do your homework and find a job and a place where you want to live. And if you make a bad decision, believe in yourself that eventually you'll make that great decision and eventually you'll be where you want to be.

So for me, it was a lot about depression and a lack of confidence.

As far as quitting, I really don't know. I'm not really the addictive type. You can probably try to find something new to do and focus the addictive energy towards something more positive like exercise, take up golf, go fishing, etc.

The other thing I find is to try to avoid those 'fun' situations where things get a little too fun and you would settle into your old routine of drinking. That generally works for me.

Good luck.




YR

 

[Nightman]

Just be careful about being too hard on yourself........don't set zero tolerance goals that will make you feel even worse about breaking...going from 100mph to 0 is a lot harder than gradually slowing down....

Nurse a beer if everyone is having a bunch......order a ginger ale or seven up with a lime so you have a drink in your hand......your wallet and headache will thank you in the morning......you will soon find out who your friends are and it might even make you feel good to be the designated driver sometimes to see what you actually aren't missing and how dangerous your old lifestyle was

 

[MichaelWinicki]

Just be careful about being too hard on yourself........don't set zero tolerance goals that will make you feel even worse about breaking...going from 100mph to 0 is a lot harder than gradually slowing down....

Nurse a beer if everyone is having a bunch......order a ginger ale or seven up with a lime so you have a drink in your hand......your wallet and headache will thank you in the morning......you will soon find out who your friends are and it might even make you feel good to be the designated driver sometimes to see what you actually aren't missing and how dangerous your old lifestyle was

I dunno BK.

I think you're better off going off alcohol completely– If you can.

You look at someone like Gregory and his issue... You can't have a gradual decline. You have to stop and stop totally if you stand any sort of a chance at keeping it under control.

Now that doesn't mean you need to swear off forever. But when you go back I think you need to be 100% in control of the situation.

 

[Nightman]

I dunno BK.

I think you're better off going off alcohol completely– If you can.

You look at someone like Gregory and his issue... You can't have a gradual decline. You have to stop and stop totally if you stand any sort of a chance at keeping it under control.

Now that doesn't mean you need to swear off forever. But when you go back I think you need to be 100% in control of the situation.

Gregory could have a gradual decline if he wasn't in the NFL.....too many people just replace one crutch for another......Spider was saying he was a heavy social drinker so going cold turkey might not be the best........but like scalper said, get some better help than you or me.......I am just passing on some hard learned lessons

 

[MichaelWinicki]

Gregory could have a gradual decline if he wasn't in the NFL.....too many people just replace one crutch for another......Spider was saying he was a heavy social drinker so going cold turkey might not be the best........but like scalper said, get some better help than you or me.......I am just passing on some hard learned lessons

Gotcha.

 

[Fritsch_the_cat]

I quit alcohol over 25 years ago, never liked it anyway.

 

[Dallas_Cowboys50]

I drink about 5 nights a week, mostly vodka, sometimes beer, whiskey for special occasions, to pass out essentially, cause sober my mind wanders relentlessly. And I just cant function on less than 4 hours sleep like some can. Id rather be hungover with 7 to 8 hrs......One of these days Ill stop procrastinating and go to the doctor for some Ambien or whatever...just never been one to go to a Doctor lol, plus IMO, gettin dependent on sleeping pills might be better yes, but its not exactly the most healthy thing to do either....And obviously gettin drunk is still enjoyable....

 

[YosemiteSam]

Wine is fine, but whiskeys quicker.