HILARIOUS blurb from espn page 2

[SA_Gunslinger]

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=gallo/060724



Can Terrell Owens behave as a Cowboy?

He'll have to. Bill Parcells simply does not allow any one player to buck the system or be bigger than the team -- no matter how good they are. (Unless they're really, really, really good like Lawrence Taylor. Then they can do coke, have a bunch of strippers in the team hotel, whatever. But outside of very good players who are integral to the success of his team, Parcells will cut anyone he wants to, no questions asked.)

 

[SA_Gunslinger]

this one is pretty good too!




How much better will the morale in the Eagles' locker room be now that Terrell Owens is gone?


It will be infinitely better. In fact, it will be so good the team probably will keep smiling right through their 10th and 11th losses.

 

[AtlCB]

These are hilarious:

Is this the year Michael Vick finally shows improvement?
What do you mean finally? He already has shown improvement. Don't you remember that one good passing game he had last season when he threw for an amazing 228 yards and one touchdown -- Whoa! -- against the Dolphins and said it was to "show everybody" that he is a great passer and that he no longer wants to hear people questioning his abilities? Well now that he's proven himself, it's time for his receivers to do their part and prove they can reel in balls thrown nowhere near them.

Does the acquisition of LaVar Arrington significantly improve the Giants' linebacking corps?
Yes. With Arrington over-pursuing ball carriers and getting caught wildly out of position over and over and over, just think how much better his fellow Giants linebackers will look simply by staying in their proper lanes while getting bowled over by opposing teams' running backs.

 

[VACowboy]

That stuff is always great.

 

[JackMagist]

Gotta love an equal opportunity basher :laugh2:

 

[Vintage]

Some other good ones...

How will rookie WR Sinorice Moss fit in the Giants' offense?
He will mesh perfectly. Eli Manning will just as easily hit Moss in the shins with a pass or overthrow him by 10 yards when he's standing wide open in the middle of the field as any veteran Giants receiver.

Has Ray Lewis lost a step?
Yes. But it's not something he can't compensate for elsewhere. For instance, he's a stronger, smarter football player than he was earlier in his career. And while he has lost foot speed, it doesn't matter when he can just as easily flee the scene in a speeding limousine.

Can Philip Rivers get it done as San Diego's starting quarterback?
Most indications are that he can. In fact, there's a school of thought that says Rivers has a higher ceiling than Drew Brees and could lead the Chargers' offense to never-before-seen heights. If that happens, Marty Schottenheimer could have a real challenge on his hands in neutering his team's game plan come playoff time.

Is Kellen Winslow Jr. completely healthy after missing all of last season to injury?
I don't know. Sorry. I tried to look into this one for you, but it turns out the U.S. military does not share the medical records of its soldiers with journalists. (Oddly enough, they also denied Winslow is even in the military. Obviously, they use him for super top-secret missions or something and don't want to blow his cover.)

 

[Muhast]

Will Carson Palmer heal completely from his knee injury in time to start Week 1?
Yes. But as a member of the Bengals, he likely will have to miss a few weeks during the season due to an arrest, trial and brief incarceration.


Ouch! lol

Even Better:

Will Reggie Bush sign with New Orleans?
It's still unclear at this stage. The likely resolution is that Paul Tagliabue will step in and do what he always does when there is a problem in New Orleans: give as much help as he can to one of the New York teams. So expect Tagliabue to award Bush to the Giants or Jets if the two sides don't come to an agreement in the next few days.

Have the Colts addressed their protection problems?
If by "their protection problems" you mean "their quarterback who always cracks under pressure in the playoffs and then shifts the blame to his teammates," then, no, they haven't addressed their protection problems.