BW: What’s her name? Oh, Suzy Kolber. I know why Joe Namath made a pass at Suzy.
MG: Really?
BW: Yeah. I mean, she’s a very, very excellent reporter. Knows her stuff. Knows her sports. Really does. And she’s kind of thick in the britches. She’s got a nice saddle. She’s got a very nice saddle. You don’t have to be drunk to make a pass at that saddle.
MG: She doesn’t seem like your kind of girl.
BW: She seems homey. Just a nice, little, homey, white picket-fence type of girl.
MG: But I would think you’d want a … you know … bigger girl.
BW: No, no.
MG: You like them small?
BW: I like ‘em just simple.
MG: Simple?
BW: Just simple. Because you know those sports hot chicks, like the chick that was doing the weather on Howie’s show with JB and Terry …
MG: Jillian Barberie? Lisa Guerrero?
BW: Both of ‘em. Those are some expensive dates. That’s no take ‘em to McDonald’s, go grab a six-pack and sit on the porch type date. That’s a Cipriani’s type date. That’s a $200 dinner – and she’s still hungry after.
MG: And then you have to take her to McDonald’s anyway.
BW: Right. So sometimes you have to scale it back. They all have jobs, so from that standpoint, it’s an equal matchup.
MG: You’re a famous guy. You’ve played 73 years in the NFL. You’re in the recording industry. Have you ever dated anybody we would know?
BW: You know what, I left that to my best friend in Atlanta, (defensive end) Chuck Smith. Because I was more of a shy type of ladies man.
MG: You??? Shy???
BW: Yeah, I was shy.
MG: When???
BW: I just cracked a few jokes and this and that.
MG: You were shy?
BW: Yeah. I never went for the starlet types because I felt like you can’t be shy with them.
MG: You have to be aggressive.
BW: You have to be a little more aggressive.
MG: And you have to pretend like you have no flaws.
BW: Yeah. See, I like to show my dimple, the beautiful chocolate skin and then let my bubbly personality loose. I should start leaving my singles page digit number on the table – “Single black male looking for rich, older, divorced white woman that just got all her husband’s money and wants to spend it on her little black sugar daddy.”
MG: Little? You’ve called yourself “little” and “shy” today. Are you really talking about Bob Whitfield?
BW: Yeah. I’m very shy.
MG: That’s funny because my blog readers wouldn’t know that.
BW: That’s my charm. That’s what the ladies call charming. That’s why we need to do a demographic on who’s reading your blogs. You have to do an appeal to the ladies.
MG: I did. I had a couple ladies email me. One of ‘em was married. I think she kind of likes you, though.
BW: Mmm-hmm. (rethinks) But I don’t want to mess with anybody’s wife. Like I said, I’m looking for the divorcee.
MG: I’ll see what I can do.
One thought before I go: I had the Cowboys in a suicide pool. Do I win?
I’m going to Hell … MG.
