Hollywod Feud: Spielberg v. Cruise

[SweetDC]

With threads like, “Who will be the next blond for Romo,” it is clear you guys are starving for something to momentarily divert your minds off of the technical aspects of football. I thought I’d share some interesting gossipy info a friend recently sent me. Apparently, its been making its rounds across the net since last year.

I won’t presume there’s interest in reading about it so I won’t post the whole of it. I’ll just post the first part and wait to see if anyone is interested in reading more.


A London paper is running a series of articles about a nasty ongoing feud between two Hollywood titans. In the original articles, the paper used aliases to identify the players (for CYA purposes). But since it is so clear who the real players are, here is an edited version with their real names inserted for an easier reading.

The original aliases used were:

Mr. Moviestar for Tom Cruise
Ms. Soon-to-be Mrs. Moviestar for Katie Holmes
Mr. Moviemaker for Steven Spielberg
Mrs. Moviemaker for Kate Capshaw


The Story of Mr. Moviestar and Mr. Moviemaker and Where It All Went Wrong…

PART 1: "Let’s Make a Movie and Have Some…Fights!"

Tom Cruise and Steven Spielberg decided it was time to make another movie together. They had done so in the past and it had been a rather successful endeavor. Besides, they had been good friends for many years and were looking forward to working together again. In the first few weeks of their collaboration things were going just fine. But then Tom Cruise met Katie Holmes and things slowly started falling apart.

The press is very interested in Katie Holmes and her relationship with Tom Cruise and they ask lots of questions. It threatens to overshadow the publicity tour Tom Cruise and Steven Spielberg are on, to promote their new movie. Steven Spielberg asks Tom Cruise if he could perhaps lead the journalists away from their line of questioning. But Tom Cruise tells him he's so in love he can hardly think about anything else himself anymore. Steven Spielberg sighs and asks Tom Cruise if he can at least try and leaves it at that. For the moment.

But, there's something else that's troubling Steven Spielberg. On the set he has noticed Tom Cruise, more than previously, is adamant in spreading the word of, let's call them his friends of the church of strong believers. As matter of fact, Tom Cruise, on more than one occasion tries to convince Steven Spielberg that his friends could become Steven Spielberg's friends and advises him to give it a try. But, Steven Spielberg, kindly, yet firmly tells Tom Cruise it's not his cup of tea.

This does not stop Tom Cruise from trying repeatedly to convince Steven Spielberg he is wrong. This goes on until the exasperated and annoyed Steven Spielberg explodes and tells Tom Cruise to keep this madness away from him. Tom Cruise, in utter disbelief over this outburst, states that the amount of stress Steven Spielberg obviously is under should be enough to make him reconsider. He also suggests Steven Spielberg could use some help in anger management and that his friends of the church of strong believers are just the kind of people who could help him with this. Steven Spielberg now urges Tom Cruise to not bring this subject up ever again.

Spielberg's helpers begin to notice Steven Spielberg appears to be avoiding Tom Cruise wherever and whenever he can. They also notice that the arguments between Tom Cruise and Steven Spielberg are becoming more frequent and uglier of nature whenever they simply cannot avoid each other. At this point an assistant to Steven Spielberg steps in and desperately tries to keep the peace between Tom Cruise and Steven Spielberg.

***
Kate Capshaw arrives on the set one day and invites Katie Holmes for lunch. Katie Holmes hesitates. She doesn't think Tom Cruise is gonna be very happy with her taking off like that, without letting Tom Cruise know where she's going. Since she cannot locate Tom Cruise she's about to decline Kate Capshaw's invitation. But. Steven Spielberg assures her he thinks it's fine with Tom Cruise. Certainly he knows Katie Holmes is in good hands and wants her to have a good time? After these words Katie Holmes decides to accept Kate Capshaw's invitation.

Now Tom Cruise arrives and asks Steven Spielberg if he knows where Katie is. Steven Spielberg answers she just left for lunch with Kate Capshaw. Tom Cruise wants to know where and Steven Spielberg replies he doesn't have a clue. Tom Cruise frowns and asks Steven Spielberg if that doesn't bother him. Initially thinking this is a joke, Steven Spielberg laughs it away by replying that if he would want to keep tabs on Kate Capshaw's agenda he would have a full daytime job and wouldn't be able to make movies anymore. Steven Spielberg, however, is stunned, when Tom Cruise advises him that maybe it would be better to ask Kate Capshaw to at least let him know where she is and what she is doing, especially when she takes Katie Holmes with her. Steven Spielberg now visibly starts losing patience with Tom Cruise and tells him he can treat Katie Holmes however he seems fit, no matter how Steven Spielberg and other may think about it, but that Tom Cruise better not start telling him how to treat Kate Capshaw.

Later that day Kate Capshaw has a little chat with Tom Cruise and says she's sorry he got upset she took Katie Holmes with her. Tom Cruise says it's okay, he and Katie Holmes talked things over and that she's promised him it won't happen again. Kate Capshaw smiles politely, says she's happy to hear this and appears to be leaving, but Tom asks if he could have a word with her. He then asks Kate Capshaw doesn't she think it wise she would let Steven Spielberg know what her agenda of the day is? Kate Capshaw starts laughing and tells Tom Cruise he should know Steven Spielberg is a busy man. If she were to call him to inform him what she's doing at the moment, she would have to call him ten times a day and Steven Spielberg would not appreciate that. Tom Cruise replies that that just might be the problem. He says he knows Kate Capshaw is fulfilling most of her obligations towards Steven Spielberg and their children but, wouldn't it be better if she would find more activities in and around their home?

Kate Capshaw blinks in astonishment but manages to remain polite. She tells Tom Cruise she does not know what kind of arrangement he has with Katie Holmes, but that it definitely sounds very different from the way Kate Capshaw and Steven Spielberg treat and respect each other. She tells Tom Cruise that Steven Spielberg does not want Kate Capshaw to be sitting around the house all day, but wants her to do the things she considers meaningful and important. He wants this because it's important to him Kate Capshaw is happy. She then asks Tom Cruise what makes him think he has the right to intrude on the way of living of Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw.

Tom Cruise replies he is worried. Some of his friends of the church of strong believers have told him they have big problems with some of the projects Kate Capshaw is supporting. Tom Cruise goes on the say he's worried this might have a negative impact on Steven Spielberg's reputation and standing. Before Kate Capshaw can reply, Steven Spielberg shows himself and there is no doubt he has overheard at least a big portion of their conversation. As Steven Spielberg slowly makes his way over to Tom Cruise, several Spielberg helpers run for cover.

Steven Spielberg tells Tom Cruise he would appreciate it if he would stop harassing Kate Capshaw and that if he ever catches him doing it again, Tom Cruise will have a bigger problem than he can handle. Tom Cruise appears crestfallen and says he was only trying to help. Steven Spielberg loses his temper and snaps he does not want or need Tom Cruise's help. Now Kate Capshaw moves herself in between Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise and starts pushing Steven Spielberg towards to exit.

The minute Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw have left, Spielberg's helpers stand gaping at Tom Cruise for a long time before they start disappearing as well.

The story as reported by our spying eyes

Soon we will bring the second part of the story of Mr. Moviestar and Mr. Moviemaker. It will include: the story of the friendly doctor, the wedding of Mr. Moviestar and Ms. Soon-to-be Mrs. Moviestar and a big surprise for Mr. Moviemaker.

 

[theebs]

LOL.

I wish tom cruise would have married britney spears.

 

[SweetDC]

LOL.

I wish tom cruise would have married britney spears.

Unlike Britney, Tom tries hard to appear normal.

 

[mr.jameswoods]

I still think it's funny how some people think he is heterosexual

 

[burmafrd]

Brit has SOME standards.

 

[SweetDC]

If you are bored like I am on a very cold Friday night, have a go at Part 2 in the ongoing saga.



Chapter 2: The Friendly Doctor….

In this chapter we will tell the story of how an unpleasant event on the doorstep of a doctor's office led to the beginning of the ending of the friendship of Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise.

This second chapter starts in the home of Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw where Kate Capshaw receives a phone call early in the morning. When Steven Spielberg is in consultation with one of his moviemaking business partners, Kate Capshaw enters, clearly infuriated. She informs Steven Spielberg she has just learned about a large group of followers of the church of Spy-in-tology showing up at the front door of a doctor's office, making a very ugly scene. This doctor happens to be the doctor who helped out a relative of Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw not so long ago…

Kate Capshaw asks Steven Spielberg pointedly is he thinks this is a coincidence? They both know a person attached to this church of Scientology and the issues they have with certain aspects of medical treatment. Did Steven Spielberg happen to talk to with this person about the doctor?

Steven Spielberg appears to be taken aback and feverishly starts searching his memory in attempt to recall a conversation of such nature. He's about the state the subject never came up when he does remember a conversation; not with Tom Cruise, but he was nearby enough to have overheard, what was said.

The still-livid Kate Capshaw chastises Steven Spielberg, who in his defense replies he cannot believe Tom Cruise had anything to do with this. Kate Capshaw asks him to come up with another explanation then and Steven Spielberg has to admit he can't. Kate Capshaw then tells Steven Spielberg this is the last straw. She tells Steven Spielberg she wants him to cut all ties with Tom Cruise. The desperate Steven Spielberg tells Kate Capshaw it's not just up to him and that there are more parties involved. He asks Kate Capshaw to remember he is in the final stage of promoting his latest movie and that there is a lot of money and people investing this money involved. What is he supposed to say to them?

Kate Capshaw then tells him fine, and for Steven Spielberg to do whatever he has to do, just as long as he keeps Tom Cruise very far away from her and their family, and that he is not the set another foot in their home.

The minute the temperamental Kate Capshaw leaves, Steven Spielberg sinks back into his chair looking at his moviemaking business partner who has listened in silence mounting disbelieve at the revelations. Showing signs of fatigue, Steven Spielberg states; "Great. This is just, great. I'm going to kill this f*****g idiot!"

The first chance Steven Spielberg has to confront Tom Cruise in person is on their next promotional tour. The minute Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise meet, it is clear to all present something is very wrong. Even Ms. Junior Moviestar tell Mrs Assistant Moviemaker that Steven Spielberg seems extremely crossed with Tom Cruise and wonders what is going on.

Before departure, Steven Spielberg tells Tom Cruise they need to have a word in private. In this conversation Steven Spielberg tells Tom Cruise about the strangely coincidental events at the doctor's office and wonders if Tom Cruise has an explanation for it? Tom Cruise appears shocked and tries to convince Steven Spielberg had had nothing to do with what took place.

Steven Spielberg says that while he might be willing to give Tom Cruise the benefit of the doubt, Kate Capshaw seems to be feeling somewhat different about this. Tom Cruise suggests he will talk to her and explain, but Steven Spielberg answers that might not be one of his best ideas. Adding that the way Kate Capshaw is feeling right now, chances are Steven Spielberg will have to bail her out of jail for assault the very least, should Tom Cruise show his face.

He then tell Tom Cruise that for all their sakes, it's probably better Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise keep their relationship on a professional level. At least for now, until Steven Spielberg has had the chance to calm Kate Capshaw down. Somewhat. Tom Cruise is not happy with this, but reluctantly agrees.

Despite the fact Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise put on their professional faces for the rest of the promotion tour, many pick up on the tensions, and several point out how distracted and out of place Steven Spielberg frequently appears to be. Even more revealing is how little he seems to be doing to help Tom Cruise out, whenever he gets himself into trouble by again promoting the words of his friends of the church of Scientology. It's clear to many that Steven Spielberg is distancing himself from Tom Cruise more and more and has an increasingly hard time to hid his irritation and frustration.

Later this week we will tell you the story of the wedding of Mr Moviestar and Ms Soon-to-be Mrs. Moviestar, and the big surprise Mr Moviestar has for Mr Moviemaker. In the final chapter, next weekend, we will tell you the story of the huge confrontation between Mr moviestar and Mrs moviemaker, how this leads to an explosive face to face between Mr moviestar and Mr moviemaker and how this marks the definite ending of their friendship.

 

[SweetDC]

I still think it's funny how some people think he is heterosexual

You mean there are people who still think Cruise isn't a switch hitter?

 

[Rack]

I still think it's funny how some people think he is heterosexual

I think it's funny how some people actually care whether he's a heterosexual or not.


Or maybe you're just hoping for a date with the weirdo?

 

[SultanOfSix]

LOL. I knew TC's sudden departure from fame and the attacks on him and his "church" in the media, although most likely warranted, had something to do with offending a Hollywood big wig.

 

[SweetDC]

PART 3: Surprises

We take a little jump in time. Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise's movie has been released and in theatres worldwide. As agreed, Tom Cruise and Steven Spielberg have scaled their friendship down to business level only for the time being and each have gone their separate ways. But even though Tom Cruise has agreed to this, he is not happy with the current situation. Then an opportunity presents itself, an opportunity Tom Cruise thinks will make things better between him and Steven Spielberg.

Steven Spielberg has to be given yet another award at a film festival. The people organizing this festival have picked up on stories of trouble between Tom Cruise and Steven Spielberg but decide not to make too much of it. They decide to surprise Steven Spielberg and don't tell the people in his staff who will be handing Steven Spielberg the award. It is supposed to be a surprise after all…

Steven Spielberg is on stage to receive his award and, on stage steps….Tom Cruise! While the audience erupts in cheers and applause, Steven Spielberg puts a smile on his face, but is not able to completely mask his surprise. A surprise that according to close observers even comes close to shock. In the audience, people close to Kate Capshaw notice that she freezes. They also notice the quick looks exchanged between Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw and the look on his face that comes close to an apology. Kate Capshaw does not respond other than with a cold stare at Steven Spielberg. Behind the scenes one of Steven Spielberg's aides moans that Steven Spielberg is going to kill him, while one of the organizers of the event stares at him in surprise.

We have a little peek behind the scenes, where Steven Spielberg erupts and lashes out at one of his aides. How could this happen? Did he not make it very clear he wanted Tom Cruise to be kept away from him? While the hapless aide tries to explain he had no prior knowledge of Tom Cruise's presence at the event, the same Tom Cruise comes walking up to them and starts apologizing. It was not his intention to upset Steven Spielberg.

Enter Kate Capshaw. She shoots Steven Spielberg a foul look, thanks him for letting her in on the surprise, then tells him to enjoy himself and that she is leaving. The startled Tom Cruise says he's to one to blame, and that Steven Spielberg has no idea Tom Cruise was going to be here. When Kate Capshaw starts walking away, Tom Cruise wants to walk after her but finds his path blocked by Steven Spielberg telling him this is not a good idea. He then asks Tom Cruise to leave and disappears into another room. A mutual friend runs after Kate Capshaw to make her reconsider.

When it becomes clear to Steven Spielberg that Kate Capshaw really seems to be leaving, it does little to improve his mood. He starts uttering some curses addressed at Tom Cruise (we shall not repeat here) then makes it clear he's leaving as well. Now, his stunned moviemaking business partner tells him he cannot do this. People have no idea what's going on and will not understand. But Steven Spielberg says to just watch him and that he is in no mood to celebrate, then he starts walking off as well.

The moviemaking business partner turns to Steven Spielberg's aide and urges him to stop Steven Spielberg. Then the moviemaking business partner turns his attention to Tom Cruise and says that he does not understand how he managed to do it but that Tom Cruise just made matters even worse. He then urges Tom Cruise to give it time and to stop pushing matters.

The panting mutual friend returns. The moviemaking business partner asks if Kate Capshaw really left. The mutual friend replies no, she managed to make Kate Capshaw see her reaction was unreasonable and she will be back in a minute. The relieved moviemaking business partner then asks is she can ask Kate Capshaw to talk to Steven Spielberg and calm him down, because he seems ready to rip someone's head of.

Kate Capshaw returns, Tom Cruise again starts walking over to her and again tells her it's all his fault and to blame him for what happened. Kate Capshaw does not respond. Tom Cruise then says it's time they talked. But Kate Capshaw lets him know there is nothing she has to say to Tom Cruise he wants to hear and that this is not the time or place.

Tom Cruise then tells her to make the time because they really need to talk. He adds it's becoming more and more clear to him it's Kate Capshaw who's causing the trouble and he wants it to stop. Now, the moviemaking business partner intervenes. He tells Tom Cruise it's obvious Kate Capshaw does not want to talk him and that if Tom Cruise really wants to help, he should just leave.

Tom Cruise leaves. Kate Capshaw talks to Steven Spielberg and Steven Spielberg returns to the festivities.

*

We make another little jump in time. The eventful film festival is long forgotten, there just one small matter left that needs to be dealt with; the invitation Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw received to attend the wedding of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.

Until it has been an unspoken agreement Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw will not attend this wedding, no matter how much upheaval this will stir in the media. But then, something unexpected happens… The movie company aligned to Steven Spielberg end its contract with Tom Cruise and this has Kate Capshaw worried.

Kate Capshaw now tells Steven Spielberg she has changed her mind and that they should attend the wedding of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. The surprised Steven Spielberg tells Kate Capshaw he knows how deeply betrayed she feels by Tom Cruise's actions and that he is not going to ask her to do something that will make her feel uncomfortable.

Then Kate Capshaw points out that the troubles between Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise have found its way to the newspapers and the internet. Now that the movie company aligned to Steven Spielberg has terminated its contract with Tom Cruise, Kate Capshaw is certain many people will point the blaming finger for this at Steven Spielberg. Especially when Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw are a no show at Tom Cruises wedding to Katie Holmes, and Kate Capshaw does not want to be responsible for that. . Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw decide to attend the wedding after all.

There is some surprise in the media and with onlookers when Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw arrive at the wedding of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Their opinion now is that rumours of trouble between Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise in the media are bogus after all.

What they don't know is that Kate Capshaw already told Steven Spielberg she will sneak off first opportunity she gets. When she starts doing so Steven Spielberg wants to go with her, but Kate Capshaw warns him it will attract unnecessary attention should they leave together so soon.

Half an hour later, Kate Capshaw is gone, while Steven Spielberg stays behind. An hour later Steven Spielberg stars leaving, but - of course! - runs into Tom Cruises who wonders why Steven Spielberg is leaving so soon. Steven Spielberg tells him Kate Capshaw isn't feeling to well and that he does not want to leave her alone too long. Steven Spielberg again congratulates Tom Cruise and then leaves.

Tom Cruise is not pleased with the rapid departure of Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw and tells his present friends of the church of Scientology someone is hell bent on ruining his friendship with Steven Spielberg. He adds he is determined to confront this person and put a stop to it.

Next time: The story of the final confrontation that ruined it all.