How Do You Know Whos Worth Marrying?

[RiggoForever]

How do you know which woman is worth marrying? I'm 27 years old and I'm so used to the bar and dating scene, but really wonder if I will ever get married, for whenever I start to feel close to anyone I pull away. I don't know why honestly, cause I think I want to be married someday. How do you know when the sacrifice is worth it?

A bunch of people I know are getting married, so I wonder why I don't feel any burning desire to do so. Is marriage a "natural" phenomenon for guys anyway, or is it pure sacrifice? After all in most species the male spreads their seed to as many partners as possible, so one has to think the urge isn't that different in humans. Just been doing alot of thinking on this.

 

[MapleLeaf]

How do you know which woman is worth marrying? I'm 27 years old and I'm so used to the bar and dating scene, but really wonder if I will ever get married, for whenever I start to feel close to anyone I pull away. I don't know why honestly, cause I think I want to be married someday. How do you know when the sacrifice is worth it?

A bunch of people I know are getting married, so I wonder why I don't feel any burning desire to do so. Is marriage a "natural" phenomenon for guys anyway, or is it pure sacrifice? After all in most species the male spreads their seed to as many partners as possible, so one has to think the urge isn't that different in humans. Just been doing alot of thinking on this.

...slippery slope to disaster when the majority of your search is based on whether the other person is "worth" marrying.

[Dr. Phil On]

Anyone who has been in a long term relationship or is actually been married for a period time knows that is most definitely a two way street with speeding cars coming from both directions. If the focus is on the other person you are destined to be met with disappointments from your partner. We are all human and at times in our life we cannot be what our partner wants.

The best advice I can give is to focus on the things you can control and focus on yourself. The greatest problem I see with people, young and old, is many don't truly "know" themselves. Being able to answer the elusive question of, "Who are you?" and "What type of person am I?", will go a long wasy to preventing the typical problems I see like working in a bad job or even marrying the wrong person.

Alot of the major life decisions you cannot control all the variables, but the best thing you can do is to be congnizant of the feelings and stages of life you are in and roll with the punches.

More than likely you will eventually evolve into a state of you life where you are prepared to be in a long term committed relationship, you are willing to work to compromise and make such a commitment work and women will pick up on this. At that time you may find alot of potential life partners and be surprised by the one you eventually choose.

In my life it ended up being a person I would have never thought of 20 years earlier. I surmised this as being part of the evolution and in my case maturity.

After 10 years of university education, three degrees, at least 16 major employment projects lasting more than a year long each and three beautiful children the greatest accomplishment I continually meet is that I'm still married to my wife.

Marriage is ALOT of work, but there is very good perks in this regard. The average North American male enjoys (10) more years of mortality on this world when they are happily married.

Single or married focus on being the best person you can be. [Dr. Phil Off]

 

[Yeagermeister]

When she's a Cowboys fan also and won't moan and groan about you watching football on Sunday

 

[Calicowboy]

Riggo dont feel any need to rush into marriage, especially if your friends are doing so. Definitely the bar scene is not the place to find any would be brides, but it seems you already know that.

If you dont feel ready for the commitment, then you arent, its that simple. Marriage is a whole new level of commitment from standard relationships, with financial reprecussions, since most marriages dont end civilly.

Nobody is a "For sure" guarantee, but the right one wont have you asking anybody else if she is.

 

[bbgun]

Well, I'm 38 and still single. I have absolutely no interest in women outside of sex, so bachelorhood it is.

 

[Chief]

Do the car door-lock test.

Watch the movie "A Bronx Tale."

And don't ever marry a liar. If they lie now, they'll lie even more later.

 

[cowboyfan4life_mark]

Do the car door-lock test.

Watch the movie "A Bronx Tale."

And don't ever marry a liar. If they lie now, they'll lie even more later.

Now that was funny!! True. But funny.


:laugh2:

 

[TheSkaven]

Riggo dont feel any need to rush into marriage, especially if your friends are doing so. Definitely the bar scene is not the place to find any would be brides, but it seems you already know that.

Yeah, I'd agree with this.

I knew my wife was the one because she became my best friend. We just always have a great time together, enjoy being together, and had common goals and dreams.

And as is quoted above, finding the right woman is like finding a job, you don't look in the classifieds or in bars but usually find them in a natural environment (school, work, or best of all, mutual introduction).

Anyways don't rush into anything, I like the married life very much but there are definitely things to cherish about bachelorhood!

 

[WV Cowboy]

I was 17, she was 16, we have been together 35 yrs, so I am not the one to answer this question.

However, I can say that you are on track when realizing that the bar scene is NOT the place to look for someone to share your life, kids, finances, birthdays, Christmas', .. etc. with.

All I can say is that when you do get married, stay married !! There will be some tough times during the first few years but the longer you stay together the more that person begins to mean to you.

Sometimes when we are at family gatherings, and I am just sitting there, I will look into the other room and see my wife sitting there laughing and talking with everyone and I just praise God for sending me someone so incredibly special. She has become a marvelous, amazing woman ! I look at her and realize, "that girl has given me her life."

I couldn't feel that way when we were first married because the history between us had not occurred yet.

It wasn't like that when we first got married, although it has always been great because we adore each other.

My point is we have built and nutured the relationship through the years and it has become the most comfortable, amazing thing.

I think it is what God wanted it to be when he says we will become one flesh.

I take care of her and she takes care of me.

I tell young people that marriage is like a tunnel, or a path that you walk down, and the farther you get down the path, or the deeper you get in the tunnel, the better it gets.

Does that make sense ?

Some couples never get that far down the path or into the tunnel, .. they give up and quit, only to start down another path, or head off into some other tunnel.

I think you will know Riggo when you found her, ... when you know you don't want to, nor can you imagine living without her.

Good luck man.

 

[WV Cowboy]

How do you know which woman is worth marrying? I'm 27 years old and I'm so used to the bar and dating scene, but really wonder if I will ever get married, for whenever I start to feel close to anyone I pull away. I don't know why honestly, cause I think I want to be married someday. How do you know when the sacrifice is worth it?

A bunch of people I know are getting married, so I wonder why I don't feel any burning desire to do so. Is marriage a "natural" phenomenon for guys anyway, or is it pure sacrifice? After all in most species the male spreads their seed to as many partners as possible, so one has to think the urge isn't that different in humans. Just been doing alot of thinking on this.

After reading your post again, I am wondering what girl will think you are worth marrying.

 

[Qwickdraw]

...slippery slope to disaster when the majority of your search is based on whether the other person is "worth" marrying.

[Dr. Phil On]

Anyone who has been in a long term relationship or is actually been married for a period time knows that is most definitely a two way street with speeding cars coming from both directions. If the focus is on the other person you are destined to be met with disappointments from your partner. We are all human and at times in our life we cannot be what our partner wants.

The best advice I can give is to focus on the things you can control and focus on yourself. The greatest problem I see with people, young and old, is many don't truly "know" themselves. Being able to answer the elusive question of, "Who are you?" and "What type of person am I?", will go a long wasy to preventing the typical problems I see like working in a bad job or even marrying the wrong person.

Alot of the major life decisions you cannot control all the variables, but the best thing you can do is to be congnizant of the feelings and stages of life you are in and roll with the punches.

More than likely you will eventually evolve into a state of you life where you are prepared to be in a long term committed relationship, you are willing to work to compromise and make such a commitment work and women will pick up on this. At that time you may find alot of potential life partners and be surprised by the one you eventually choose.

In my life it ended up being a person I would have never thought of 20 years earlier. I surmised this as being part of the evolution and in my case maturity.

After 10 years of university education, three degrees, at least 16 major employment projects lasting more than a year long each and three beautiful children the greatest accomplishment I continually meet is that I'm still married to my wife.

Marriage is ALOT of work, but there is very good perks in this regard. The average North American male enjoys (10) more years of mortality on this world when they are happily married.

Single or married focus on being the best person you can be. [Dr. Phil Off]

Good advice.

You'd be surprised just how attractive you become to the opposite sex when you focus on bettering yourself and your own passions and do what makes you happy. Then you have a better chance of meeting someone with similar interests or a similar lifestyle.
She should first and foremost be your best friend.

Of course, this is all coming from a single male.:

 

[CanadianCowboysFan]

Riggo dont feel any need to rush into marriage, especially if your friends are doing so. Definitely the bar scene is not the place to find any would be brides, but it seems you already know that.

If you dont feel ready for the commitment, then you arent, its that simple. Marriage is a whole new level of commitment from standard relationships, with financial reprecussions, since most marriages dont end civilly.

Nobody is a "For sure" guarantee, but the right one wont have you asking anybody else if she is.

I met my wife in a bar.

My theory is, if she puts out by the second date and you still want to call her again, she's the one

 

[bbgun]

Men want sex and a second mommy; women want security. Next question.

 

[Qwickdraw]

Men want sex and a second mommy; women want security. Next question.

Pretty much, you hit the nail on the head.

My problem has always been that the girls I want sex from are nothing like my mommy and the girls that are motherly, I'm not interested in sex from.

That's why every man needs at least 2 women.

 

[Zaxor]

Look at her checking/saving account :laugh2:

 

[BrAinPaiNt]

Well don't be fooled by jewelry thinking she has money...Take it from me.:

 

[Concord]

There is no cut and dried way to know...You will just KNOW when you meet the right girl.

I was 27 when I got married...And up until that time people were saying I would never get Married.

Met her at work...A bunch of people from work went on a Ski trip and after we went to a Bar...I had Liquid courage...So I asked her to dance...Then I kissed her and the rest is History...Married for 12 years now.

 

[WV Cowboy]

...Married for 12 years now.

Congratulations !!

12 years in this day and age is quite an accomplishment !

Sad but true.

Here's to many many more.

 

[Hoov]

Pretty much, you hit the nail on the head.

My problem has always been that the girls I want sex from are nothing like my mommy and the girls that are motherly, I'm not interested in sex from.

That's why every man needs at least 2 women.

LOL, that is pretty much the way it's worked for me.

But i have to say if your looking to get married, you should feel like that women is your best friend, otherwise why do it (of course there is always the desire to have kids and sometimes people settle cause they are getting older and desperate to have kids) because once you get married that is the person you are going to spend the MOST of your time with.

For me, i will only get married again if i meet a women that can see and understand the real me, one who i would feel a deep connection to. Because i have found that you can be surrounded by people 24/7 and still be extremely lonely because no one cares about or wants to talk about the things that move you deep inside.

Everyone wants someone to share things with, but if you cant connect to that person in such a way that they share an intrest in your deepest desires you will always be searching for something more meaningful.

 

[royhitshard]

I met my EX-Wife at a gas station...I guess I should have stuck to the bar scene.