How Do You Know Whos Worth Marrying?

[WV Cowboy]

Pretty much, you hit the nail on the head.

My problem has always been that the girls I want sex from are nothing like my mommy and the girls that are motherly, I'm not interested in sex from.

That's why every man needs at least 2 women.

Reminds me of the old saying, "lady in the parlor, ***** in the bedroom"

 

[jem88]

Marriage requires some compromises but it's certainly been the best thing that's ever happened to me. I knew I was ready to marry when I simply couldn't imagine being apart from her. That pretty much sealed the deal.

 

[jem88]

Do the car door-lock test.

Watch the movie "A Bronx Tale."

And don't ever marry a liar. If they lie now, they'll lie even more later.

Speaking of Bronx Tale, it's pretty sad what's become of Lillo Brancato, the kid in that movie. He was also Matt Bevilaqua in The Sopranos. I think he might be on his way to prison.

 

[Concord]

Congratulations !!

12 years in this day and age is quite an accomplishment !

Sad but true.

Here's to many many more.

Thanks...It's as you know not always Candy and Roses...But I love her and she's my best friend.

We have many wonderful memories from 12 years and I couldn't imagine not being married to her now.

 

[Mojorisen]

Riggo, sounds like you're not ready, but suffering from the "keep up with the jones" syndrome. I've been happily with wife #2 for 14 years, and we've never had an argument. It's my way or the highway.......j/k.

here's some advise to add to not looking in bars. Find an independent woman with a career and a high level of integrity with acceptable looks and marry her. Then learn to love her. It takes time. That love at first sight/chemical stuff is bs. Relationships based on sexual attraction will fail quicker than any other.

And don't forget Flipp Wilson..."marry a beautiful woman, and after a few years she start turning ugly, marry an ugly woman, and after a few beers she starts looking good"

 

[jbsg02]

I have some weird guy complex where I just like the fact of knowing I could have a certain girl if I wanted her and afterwards I want someone new. I hate the fact that I'm like that and want to change

 

[WV Cowboy]

I have some weird guy complex where I just like the fact of knowing I could have a certain girl if I wanted her and afterwards I want someone new. I hate the fact that I'm like that and want to change

Don't worry, age will change it for you.

Someday you won't always be able to get any girl you want.

You will be older and the young, good looking girls will be looking at the young good looking guys.

 

[WV Cowboy]

Thanks...It's as you know not always Candy and Roses...But I love her and she's my best friend.

We have many wonderful memories from 12 years and I couldn't imagine not being married to her now.

Just like God planned it to be for us.

 

[Mavs Man]

I just turned 23 and have only been married for eight months (July '05), but I figured I'd toss in my two cents and concur with what others have said, based on my experience.

-While it's possible to meet "the one" at a bar or club, it's like finding a needle in a haystack. You get lucky every now and then but there are better places to look. I found my wife through my church, which leads me to another point.

-Religion is important. My wife and I go to church together every Sunday and it's a bond that very much strengthens our relationship. I realize that there are others on this board who have very different opinions regarding this, but it's hard for two people to share a life when they have two very different religious views and practices (one goes to church, the other stays home), whether they're Christian, Jew, Muslim, Atheist, etc.

-Your wife must be your best friend. My wife and I were both home for Christmas vacation during college and our relationship actually started with us just hanging out as purely friends, watching movies and stuff. I wasn't expecting it to grow from there like it did, but the more time I spent with her the more I realized I didn't want to be without her. If you find that you'd rather hang out at a bar with the guys than spend the night at home with your wife (and kids, as it later becomes), then maybe this isn't for you.

-When you know, you just know. This isn't very helpful, I know, when you haven't found her, but this isn't an exact science.

-If you're willing to put a little effort into the marriage it definitely gets better over time. Like I said it's only been eight months for us, but the longer you go (and boy, how the time has flown!) the more comfortable you get with one another. Communication is very important. It's scary sometimes being a guy but you have to be willing to go through it when things come up that need to be talked out. Just be honest and respectful and things will work out. This is also means that if you can't talk to her before you get married, then that's not a good sign.

Marriage isn't for everyone. For me, I could have done the more conventional thing and waited until my late 20s/early 30s but the way I see it we have maybe 75-85 years on this earth if we're lucky, which means if I had waited till I was 30 that would have given my wife and I on average maybe 50 years together. Call me greedy, but I want more. And if I know this is it for me, then why waste seven or eight years? If I had held off because "I'm not ready, I'm too young" there's no way I'd be as satisfied with life as I am right now. I'm 23 and I know it's not only the best thing I've ever done, but the best thing I'll ever do.

 

[Gibby!]

I'm 23 and I know it's not only the best thing I've ever done, but the best thing I'll ever do.

I hate to disagree with you after such a compelling post, but I'll blame it on the blindness of youth.

There are going to be many many many "best things I have ever done to come." .

12 years here also. We have a goal to break 14 (both parents split then.) After that goal is accomplished we have to get to something 74 or 5, yikes :laugh1: !!

 

[bbgun]

Don't get married til you've both seen each other in bed with the flu. If you can survive that ...

 

[Chief]

I just turned 23 and have only been married for eight months (July '05), but I figured I'd toss in my two cents and concur with what others have said, based on my experience.

-While it's possible to meet "the one" at a bar or club, it's like finding a needle in a haystack. You get lucky every now and then but there are better places to look. I found my wife through my church, which leads me to another point.

-Religion is important. My wife and I go to church together every Sunday and it's a bond that very much strengthens our relationship. I realize that there are others on this board who have very different opinions regarding this, but it's hard for two people to share a life when they have two very different religious views and practices (one goes to church, the other stays home), whether they're Christian, Jew, Muslim, Atheist, etc.

-Your wife must be your best friend. My wife and I were both home for Christmas vacation during college and our relationship actually started with us just hanging out as purely friends, watching movies and stuff. I wasn't expecting it to grow from there like it did, but the more time I spent with her the more I realized I didn't want to be without her. If you find that you'd rather hang out at a bar with the guys than spend the night at home with your wife (and kids, as it later becomes), then maybe this isn't for you.

-When you know, you just know. This isn't very helpful, I know, when you haven't found her, but this isn't an exact science.

-If you're willing to put a little effort into the marriage it definitely gets better over time. Like I said it's only been eight months for us, but the longer you go (and boy, how the time has flown!) the more comfortable you get with one another. Communication is very important. It's scary sometimes being a guy but you have to be willing to go through it when things come up that need to be talked out. Just be honest and respectful and things will work out. This is also means that if you can't talk to her before you get married, then that's not a good sign.

You're wise beyond your years.

Best of luck to you.

 

[WV Cowboy]

-While it's possible to meet "the one" at a bar or club, it's like finding a needle in a haystack. You get lucky every now and then but there are better places to look. I found my wife through my church, which leads me to another point.

The needle that you talk about is probably a girl that doesn't frequent the bar scene, she was just there with her friends celebrating something.
IMO, girls that frequent the bar scene typically aren't wife material.
If she went to bed with you on the 1st or 2nd date, chances are she had done that before.
Like John Prine says, "she was a doin' what she'd already done."
Girls like that don't appeal to me.
I think meeting a future wife at church improves your chances of marital success immensely, but unfortunately even that is no guarantee.

-Religion is important. My wife and I go to church together every Sunday and it's a bond that very much strengthens our relationship.

You are right, that is a GREAT foundation to build your marriage on.
Remember, you are to be the spiritual "head of the household."
Your wife and someday your children need to see you in prayer and Bible study.

I realize that there are others on this board who have very different opinions regarding this, but it's hard for two people to share a life when they have two very different religious views and practices (one goes to church, the other stays home), whether they're Christian, Jew, Muslim, Atheist, etc.

It's called being unequally yoked, ... God warns against it.

-Your wife must be your best friend. ... If you find that you'd rather hang out at a bar with the guys than spend the night at home with your wife (and kids, as it later becomes), then maybe this isn't for you.

Good advice.

-If you're willing to put a little effort into the marriage it definitely gets better over time. ... Communication is very important. ... Just be honest and respectful and things will work out.

This is so very true, ... how do you know this so young ?

I'm 23 and I know it's not only the best thing I've ever done, but the best thing I'll ever do.

After accepting Christ as my savior, yes, my wife is the best thing that ever happened to me.

As Chief said, you are wise beyond your years.

 

[Faerluna]

Men want sex and a second mommy; women want security. Next question.

This explains why you're still single!

Women want honesty, respectfulness and understanding. We have security all by our lonesome, and don't need a man to provide it.

We want someone we can trust, someone that's caring and treats his mother well, so that we know he will respect us as women.

We also want sex (good as well as often), and someone that makes us laugh.

 

[bbgun]

We also want sex (good as well as often), and someone that makes us laugh.

Call me.

 

[CF74]

you'll know she's the one because life without her suks

 

[Chief]

Call me.

:laugh2:

 

[WV Cowboy]

This explains why you're still single!

Women want honesty, respectfulness and understanding. We have security all by our lonesome, and don't need a man to provide it.

We want someone we can trust, someone that's caring and treats his mother well, so that we know he will respect us as women.

We also want sex (good as well as often), and someone that makes us laugh.

Is that you honey ?