HUMOR: Michael Vick sentenced

Faerluna

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ATLANTA (CAP) - Suspended NFL quarterback Michael Vick has been sentenced to five years with the Buffalo Bills for his part in a national dogfighting ring. Lawyers for the former number one draft pick say they plan to appeal the sentence as "cruel and unusual punishment."


"You want to sentence him to the Saints, or the Jets where they hate every quarterback who steps on the field, fine," said Collins Spencer, a spokesman for Vick's five lawyers. "But this, this travesty unfairly endangers our client's life. Outside of Buffalo Wings, what the hell is there in Buffalo?"

"Yes, it is a highly unusual sentence, but not without precedent," said case law expert Srinivas Dranath. "I suspect the judge drew inspiration from the 2006 case of Ian Shawns, who was sentenced to an interview with Nancy Grace. He committed suicide a short time later."

Members of PETA have come out in support of the decision by the court, saying that forcing Vick to play for the hapless Bills sends a message to that fraction of the population who are multimillionaires that enjoy electrocuting dogs.

"Maybe the next time a Derek Jeter or a Tiger Woods decides they want to hang a pit bull they will think twice," said PETA spokeswoman Lisa Lange. "And then again, maybe I'll get laid this year."

Vick himself has remained fairly tight-lipped since the sentencing, but did tell CAP News that he's not looking forward to joining Buffalo because he has "absolutely no interest in playing in Canada."

As part of his sentence, Vick must also wear a dog collar with an embedded GPS transmitter so that he remain in Buffalo at all times except for regular season away games.
 

Yeagermeister

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Faerluna;1674324 said:
ATLANTA (CAP) - Suspended NFL quarterback Michael Vick has been sentenced to five years with the Buffalo Bills for his part in a national dogfighting ring. Lawyers for the former number one draft pick say they plan to appeal the sentence as "cruel and unusual punishment."


"You want to sentence him to the Saints, or the Jets where they hate every quarterback who steps on the field, fine," said Collins Spencer, a spokesman for Vick's five lawyers. "But this, this travesty unfairly endangers our client's life. Outside of Buffalo Wings, what the hell is there in Buffalo?"

"Yes, it is a highly unusual sentence, but not without precedent," said case law expert Srinivas Dranath. "I suspect the judge drew inspiration from the 2006 case of Ian Shawns, who was sentenced to an interview with Nancy Grace. He committed suicide a short time later."

Members of PETA have come out in support of the decision by the court, saying that forcing Vick to play for the hapless Bills sends a message to that fraction of the population who are multimillionaires that enjoy electrocuting dogs.

"Maybe the next time a Derek Jeter or a Tiger Woods decides they want to hang a pit bull they will think twice," said PETA spokeswoman Lisa Lange. "And then again, maybe I'll get laid this year."

Vick himself has remained fairly tight-lipped since the sentencing, but did tell CAP News that he's not looking forward to joining Buffalo because he has "absolutely no interest in playing in Canada."

As part of his sentence, Vick must also wear a dog collar with an embedded GPS transmitter so that he remain in Buffalo at all times except for regular season away games.

What about the playoffs?......oh sorry you said Buffalo. :D
 
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