After a thorough and exhaustive search for the replacement of Jerry Jones' hand picked head coach, the 24-year tenured GM of the franchise had this to say about his hiring a new head coach.
"Just between us girls, I have looked high and low, and there was only one man who answered each and every questions the way I thought it should be. Therefore, after turning over every leaf, I have decided to hire myself as head coach. I just offered myself a lifetime coaching contract that fits in nicely with the profitability of this franchise. So now I am officially in charge of the socks and jocks, and.....I look pretty good in the shower, too."