Reverend Conehead
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I don't know why no one has thought of this before, but maybe I'm just a genius. Most of us would agree that it's both illegal and immoral to rob banks. It might seem like a quick and easy way to get some cash when your short of it, but it's an extremely bad idea. If you rob a bank, you might get in a lot of trouble.
So here's my plan. Outside of the bank at its entrance, we'll put up a sign that says "Please do not rob this bank." Then when you open the door to go in, there will be another sign that says, "bank robbery free zone." Then inside the bank at that place where you line up to see a teller, there will be yet another sign that says, "If you rob this bank, you'll probably get in a whole lot of trouble."
So then a would-be bank robber who shows up will read those signs and say to himself, "Whoops, I didn't realize what a bad idea this was. I'd best oughta just go put my piece back in my car and not do this. I don't have any money in my account, but maybe if I'm real nice, they'll give me one of their free lolipops, and maybe the teller knows if the local pizza place is hiring. That way I'll be able to get some money after all."
So this will get rid of all the bank robberies at that bank. I think the Mayor is going to be really impressed by my plan and so maybe he'll hire me for something and pay me a lot of money. I got this idea when I was driving through the neighborhood near a school and saw this sign that said "drug free zone." I was like, "Wow, I didn't know they could do that." They put up a sign near the school and then anyone with any drugs sees the sign and drives out of the area, and that's how they got the drug free zone. It would explain some of the erratic driving I've seen in the area, like the one time when some dude cut across multiple lanes of traffic to make a sudden right turn. He must have had drugs on him and had to turn right away to stay out of the drug free zone.
So I've been busy making a bunch of signs to stop bank robberies. I think they look really good and so I'm bringing them to my meeting with the Mayor. I can't wait. He's going to be so happy. I think this may be the start of a great new career for me where I travel across the whole country making signs for banks so that they don't get robbed. Wish me luck.
So here's my plan. Outside of the bank at its entrance, we'll put up a sign that says "Please do not rob this bank." Then when you open the door to go in, there will be another sign that says, "bank robbery free zone." Then inside the bank at that place where you line up to see a teller, there will be yet another sign that says, "If you rob this bank, you'll probably get in a whole lot of trouble."
So then a would-be bank robber who shows up will read those signs and say to himself, "Whoops, I didn't realize what a bad idea this was. I'd best oughta just go put my piece back in my car and not do this. I don't have any money in my account, but maybe if I'm real nice, they'll give me one of their free lolipops, and maybe the teller knows if the local pizza place is hiring. That way I'll be able to get some money after all."
So this will get rid of all the bank robberies at that bank. I think the Mayor is going to be really impressed by my plan and so maybe he'll hire me for something and pay me a lot of money. I got this idea when I was driving through the neighborhood near a school and saw this sign that said "drug free zone." I was like, "Wow, I didn't know they could do that." They put up a sign near the school and then anyone with any drugs sees the sign and drives out of the area, and that's how they got the drug free zone. It would explain some of the erratic driving I've seen in the area, like the one time when some dude cut across multiple lanes of traffic to make a sudden right turn. He must have had drugs on him and had to turn right away to stay out of the drug free zone.
So I've been busy making a bunch of signs to stop bank robberies. I think they look really good and so I'm bringing them to my meeting with the Mayor. I can't wait. He's going to be so happy. I think this may be the start of a great new career for me where I travel across the whole country making signs for banks so that they don't get robbed. Wish me luck.
