Jerry's 10 Commandments for a GM

[Chief]

Jerry, in his many years as a GM, is willing to share his 10 Commandments for being a quality GM.

10. Take credit for everything that goes right. Pass the buck for everything that goes wrong.

9. Be as visible as possible. Migrate to all microphones. All publicity is good. Get a facelift, if need be. People need to see you. Be on the sidelines. Whether, it's practice or a game. It shows that you are "hands on" and gives the public the impression that you are a "football guy."

8. Coddle your players. Encourage them to come straight to you if they have a problem. Coaches aren't important. You are.

7. When drafting, pick out a player you really, really like, or who has the same birthday as you. Fall in love with that player and move heaven and earth to draft him, even if it's three rounds early.

6. Surround yourself with your sons or weak-willed people who agree with everything you say and do.

5. Use your spare time to make marketing deals. Partnerships are important. Papa John's and Pepsi are just as important as your coaches.

4. Be stubborn. Embrace pride. It's what makes you great. Don't let anyone try to tell you what to do. Never admit a mistake.

3. Stock your roster with spotlight-hungering thugs. Be willing to give everyone a second, third, or 14th chance.

2. Talent wins. Not coaches. Not chemistry. Not attention to detail. Not preparation. Not scheme. Not structure. Not the organization. None of that matters at all. It's you and the talent of the players.

1. Own the team.

 

[03EBZ06]

Sounds like Jerry's philosophy to me.

 

[FanSince61]

 

[BrAinPaiNt]

Back when he was saying a certain player had the same birthday (and he may have even said they share the same zodiac sign) in order to add to the reasons they thought he was a good player to pick....ohhh that was just terrible. Actually taking that player and Dixon in that draft was just terrible.

 

[DallasEast]

2. Talent wins. Not coaches. Not chemistry. Not attention to detail. Not preparation. Not scheme. Not structure. Not the organization. None of that matters at all. It's you and the talent of the players.

 

[Maikeru-sama]

 

[Chief]

Back when he was saying a certain player had the same birthday (and he may have even said they share the same zodiac sign) in order to add to the reasons they thought he was a good player to pick....ohhh that was just terrible. Actually taking that player and Dixon in that draft was just terrible.

That was one of the low points in Jerry's tenure.

Reminds me of yesterday.

 

[Yeagermeister]

Back when he was saying a certain player had the same birthday (and he may have even said they share the same zodiac sign) in order to add to the reasons they thought he was a good player to pick....ohhh that was just terrible. Actually taking that player and Dixon in that draft was just terrible.

Who was that?

 

[MONT17]

you forgot pay players just for the helvit

 

[yimyammer]

Jerry, in his many years as a GM, is willing to share his 10 Commandments for being a quality GM.

10. Take credit for everything that goes right. Pass the buck for everything that goes wrong.

9. Be as visible as possible. Migrate to all microphones. All publicity is good. Get a facelift, if need be. People need to see you. Be on the sidelines. Whether, it's practice or a game. It shows that you are "hands on" and gives the public the impression that you are a "football guy."

8. Coddle your players. Encourage them to come straight to you if they have a problem. Coaches aren't important. You are.

7. When drafting, pick out a player you really, really like, or who has the same birthday as you. Fall in love with that player and move heaven and earth to draft him, even if it's three rounds early.

6. Surround yourself with your sons or weak-willed people who agree with everything you say and do.

5. Use your spare time to make marketing deals. Partnerships are important. Papa John's and Pepsi are just as important as your coaches.

4. Be stubborn. Embrace pride. It's what makes you great. Don't let anyone try to tell you what to do. Never admit a mistake.

3. Stock your roster with spotlight-hungering thugs. Be willing to give everyone a second, third, or 14th chance.

2. Talent wins. Not coaches. Not chemistry. Not attention to detail. Not preparation. Not scheme. Not structure. Not the organization. None of that matters at all. It's you and the talent of the players.

1. Own the team.

I'd bust out laughing if I could stop crying from the realization of how true this parody really is

 

[bbgun]

10a. "Always pay (and overpay) your guys no matter how they perform. Sentimentality is more important than sage business decisions."

Seriously, I can't remember the last guy who left Dallas for more money.

 

[theebs]

well done my friend.