Joke: Anger Management works

[the kid 05]

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take
it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out
on someone you don't know. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered
a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying 'Hello'

I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn
Carter?' Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear 'Get the right
F---ing number!' and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't
believe that anyone could be so rude.

When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I
had accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with
her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy
answered the phone, I yelled 'You're an arsehole!' and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'arsehole' next to it, and put it
in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or
had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, 'You're an arsehole!'
It always cheered me up.


When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'arsehole'
calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, 'Hi,
this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if
you're familiar with our Caller ID Program? 'He yelled 'NO!' and
slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, 'That's
because you're an arsehole!' and hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking Spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting
for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a 'For Sale' sign in
his back window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later,
right after calling the first arsehole (I had is number on speed dial,)
I thought that I'd better call the BMW arsehole, too.

I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?' He said, 'Yes,
it is.'
I asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?' He said, 'Yes, I live at
34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax. It's a yellow ranch, and the car's parked
right out in front.'
I asked, 'What's your name?' He said, 'My name is Don Hansen'
I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?' He said, 'I'm home
every evening after five.'
I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'
He said, 'Yes?'
I said, 'Don, you're an arsehole!'
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two *******s to call.

Then I came up with an idea. I called arsehole #1. He said, 'Hello' I
said, 'You're an arsehole!' (But I didn't hang up.) He asked, 'Are you
still there?'
I said, 'Yeah'
He screamed, 'Stop calling me!'
I said, 'Make me'
He asked, 'Who are you?'
I said, 'My name is Don Hansen'
He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'
I said, '*******, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, a yellow
ranch, I have a black Beamer parked in front.'
He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
saying your prayers.'
I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, arsehole,' and hung up.'


Then I called Arsehole #2. He said, 'Hello?' I said, 'Hello, arsehole'
He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'
I said, 'You'll what?'
He exclaimed, 'I'll kick your ***'
I answered, 'Well, arsehole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right
now'

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived
at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to
kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree
Blvd., In Fairfax.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just
in time to watch two arseholes beating the crap out of each other in
front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a
news crew.

NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does work.

think i got all the words fixed

 

[Hoofbite]

Pretty good.