Hello,
My name is Keyshawn Johnson. You might remember me from a literary classic called "Give Me the Damn Ball!" and other acts such as calling out well liked, hard working player Wayne Chrebet and throwing a tantrum on the sidelines on numerous occasions, even in victory. In 2003, one year after my team and coach WON a Super Bowl, I was suspended for the second half of the season for being a jerk to my team and head coach. Despite my marginal production from 2004-2005, I still proclaimed myself to be the BEST wide receiver in the league. I later found myself getting cut by the Cowboys in favor of Terrell Owens, who nearly doubled my production despite doing it with a broken finger.
Terrell Owens is the worst teammate that ever lived. That doesn't make me a hypocrite or bitter or have a blatant vendetta. Because I would NEVER have disrupted the team. All I wanted to do was win. I didn't care if I didn't catch a pass. I just wanted to win. Anybody who watched me in my playing career or read my book would know this. Give Me the Damn Ball was in reference to the box of Titleist's I mail ordered didn't show up in the mail before my latest golf trip. And my arguments witch coach Jon Gruden were just mere spats over the best Mexican Restaurants in the greater Tampa area.
Please also let me note that the bridge in Brooklyn is indeed for sale and professional wrestling is real.
That is all.
Sincerely,
Keyshawn Johnson
:chainsaw:
