Saw this on another board, and got a kick out of it. And, yes, I am a Ware fan, but I've always been a Merriman fan, as well.
1. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Shawne Merriman allows to live.
2. There is no "I" in team. There are two "I"s in Shawne “Lights Out” Merriman. Screw you, team.
3. The French did not send the Statue of Liberty to the United States as a sign of peace. They just wanted to see if Shawne Merriman could bull rush a 300 foot bronze statue.
4. Crop circles are Shawne's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the hell down.
5. Shawne Merriman is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's crap.
6. You are what you eat. That is why Shawne's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of offensive lineman.
7. In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Shawne Merriman, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.
8. When Shawne Merriman does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
9. Shawne Merriman was the hunter who killed Bambi's Mother on an end rush. He then donated her carcass to his own coat drive outside of Comcast.
10. Shawne Merriman is the reason the sky is blue. Don't ask stupid questions.
11. Ever have a sharp pain in your chest that you can't explain? That was Lights Out, and it was a warning.
12. Lights Out CAN eat only one Lays potato chip.